Author: onparallelpaths

Hi, I’m Cindy...and I never imagined that I would ever write anything that anyone would choose to read. I've journaled privately for decades, but the thought of anyone reading about my thoughts and feelings was a foreign to me as the ancient labyrinth bazaar, the Souq Waqif in Qatar were...which turned out to be absolutely fascinating. I started writing for public view, out of necessity, when our son Will was diagnosed with stage 4 Adenocarcinoma of the small bowel, at age 29. Caringbridge was the best way to reach family and friends to share his journey and save us from having to repeat ourselves dozens of times. The journal entries provided us with a way to send out a consistent message and was very time efficient. A hugely calming thing for me in the midst of a very chaotic time. Writing Will's frequent health updates became my way of coping, reaching out for support, sharing all my fears, frustrations, hopes and prayers. As much as it helped me stay in touch with myself, in the midst of the most "devastatingly beautiful" time of my life, it helped me stay connected to a vast community of friends whom we love…and has brought me the insight that God's presence and purpose is running parallel to my life's journey. Come journey with me and draw closer to God and each other....on parallel paths.

Epilogue:  Time

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(Written June 18, 2025, from Buena Vista, Dominican Republic). This past week, while reading Walking in Valleys of Darkness: A Benedictine Journey through Troubled Times, by Father, monk, and one of my favorite devotional book writer’s, Albert Holtz, O.S.B, I was reminded  that the word “time” in ancient Greek can be express as one of two different words, each with its own distinct meanings.  Chronos and Kairos.

Chronos is the root word for time as we typically think of it.  The measurement of 24 hours in a day, 365 days contained in a year, 10 years that make up a decade, 100 years that comprise a century, and the encompassing 1,000 years in a millennium.  This is the concept that we frequently believe that we “don’t have enough” of, to accomplish all that we feel compelled to do.  

This week we are wrapping our four months of living and serving here in the Dominican Republic.  It’s been good to spend time serving along Bruce’s staff colleagues hosting short-term mission teams, reconnecting with expat friends here at church and developing deeper connections with neighbors, community workers and some new of friends through a yoga class.  It’s always surprising how quickly our time here passes. The days and weeks down here on  “island time” take on a rhythm that is unique. 

This year, because of my virtual training work has been very limited, my mornings consist of; taking a cup of coffee along with my devotional materials to our front porch, where our two dogs, Mama Dora and her daughter Latte are waiting to give and receive some loving. My rocking chair and side table are there along with some Lemon and Eucalyptus Oil Mosquito Repellent that use to I spray myself down.  Then my “quiet ‘time”’ with God can begin.  

My devotion “time” is followed (and sometimes interrupted) by Bruce arriving to ask about taking a walk around the neighborhood with our two dogs, Dora, Latte as well as Frieda, the gate dog German Sheppard, who is the unofficial neighborhood greeter and fiesta crasher.  

Usually, we take a second lap of the walk to include Blanco, who is a light-colored-Street dog-Greyhound-mix, who was also rescued by the gate guards.  When all four dogs are together, they are a rambunctious pack that has brought lots of laughter to our days.  This dog walking routine, which we are sure the locals just shake their head at since dog here are generally abandoned and shunned, is interspersed with warm greetings with neighbors or their maids and yard helpers. There is also the distribution of many doggie pats, words of affirmation, and small tasty treats…this happens four “times” a day. 

Blanco the yardman and Frieda and Blanco the street dog
during an afternoon walk…yes that is a machete in Blanco’s
hand!

After the dog walks, I usually continue my porch “time,” because I enjoy the company of our dogs and the incredible breeze that almost constantly passes through a window to the left of my chair, coming from the back of our house and across my face.  It’s a lovely way to spend my “time.”

Front porch time with Dora and Latte

This outdoor porch time my “time” to; revisit my resources on grief, journal my reactions and reflections of what I sense God telling me to do, catch up on digital correspondence, plan for upcoming work assignments, make family travel and meal plans, develop training materials in hopes of implementing the Healthy Doctor Protocols program in the future, and to read for pleasure. It’s been a rich “time” with a slower pace of life than I’ve never had before. 

Some days here in the DR require getting up at an earlier “time” in the morning to depart from home to drive the 30 minutes up to Young Life’s ministry camp. There we meet mission teams and help in the camp kitchen with food preparations and clean up. Other days, there’s yard chores or house cleaning to do, and still other days it’s taking time to run into town for groceries or to have something copied at the print shop.  Some days it takes even more time to journey down the mountain to the valley for a La Vega city visit with the veterinarian, for either the dogs or Lulu our grand-cat who travels here with us, but never all of the critters at the same time  

Our evening “time”, between the third and fourth dog walks of the day, usually consist of me starting to prepare dinner, Bruce mixing up some pineapple juice, coconut milk and sparkling water drinks and us taking them up to our back porch, to enjoy that breeze, catch up on each other’s day, read and watch a sunset.   Then there it’s “time” for the last dog walk before dark, dinner for everyone, and some more reading “time” in the evening.  

Sunset from our back balcony

The “time” here (in the linear since) for the past four months has had a great rhythm to it.  It’s been a “time” for me that has felt restorative, joyful, and connected.  

https://youtu.be/H1L6zv_ilzY?si=cRZCA0GRvMvlBJps    

Oh, but wait a minute…no pun intended, in the prior sentence I just used the word “time”, using the other ancient Greek meaning for the word.  Kairos.  Kairos also means “time” but in terms of a “time when conditions are right for the accomplishment of a crucial action: the opportune and decisive moment.” According to Merrium Webster, Kairos means “a time for specific appointed and important reason, so it has a qualitative, more permanent nature.”

Kairos’ meaning isn’t linear. Instead, it represents something that isn’t repeating.  Like the word “season” in English can mean any of the four seasons that occur at generally the same time each year. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. And, so on it goes into the next year. 

“A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season, and la time for every matter under heaven:

2  a time to be born, and a time to mdie;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

3  a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4  a time to nweep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to odance;

5  a time to pcast away stones, and a time to qgather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to rrefrain from embracing;

6  a time to seek, and a time to slose;

a time to keep, and a time to tcast away;

7  a time to utear, and a time to sew;

a time to vkeep silence, and a time to speak;

8  a time to love, and a time to whate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

https://youtu.be/NueMKnU8qa0?si=WCwwwnARI37Mn8WD         

 (One year later…Written from Green Cove Springs, Fl, March/April, 2026)

Wow, talk about Chronos and Kairos moments…here I sit in the US during the months of March/April, and not the Dominican Republic, for the first “time” in three years. 

As I pulled up what I started writing late last spring, I realized that a good part of what I wrote hadn’t been saved properly in the file and was lost. I also realized that a lot has happened the past year that has changed some of the content of the message.  There has been lots of Kairos moments during the Chronos.

Isn’t it true that we often don’t realize the moment of significance and meaning until a later date?  Fortunately, when I began this journal entry last April, I was very much aware that God was up to something big. And He has continued to show me little by little what some of that something is.

First, He allowed me to have Chronos time to accomplish some much needed grief healing. Losing or son Will, my Dad, my mom, and my brother-in-law Colin over a period 22 months left me gutted.  Having the space to continue to receive God’s healing comfort and perspective was a huge gift. 

https://youtu.be/q8anLMKB9N8?si=yxO4DTjFoawhHnJW      

Secondly, God has continued to connect me with numerous people who are also passionate about improving the wellness education of young physicians. Starting with the University of Dubuque (UD), where my husband Bruce serves on the Board of Trustees.  

We received news early in 2025 just before we left for the Dominican Republic that UD is going to start the first medical school in the state of Iowa in over 125 years. It will be an osteopathic program just like our son Will graduated from.

So, Bruce and I decided it would be important for us to come back to the states to attend the spring Trustee meeting to get a firsthand update on the medical school plans. So, we had the opportunity to walk through the skeleton of the medical school’s facility in downtown Dubuque, participate in the ribbon cutting, and speak to several influential decisions on the board and in the university community regarding my passion for young physician wellness and the willingness to be involved in the establishment of a comprehensive program at the new school.  It was a very encouraging time to share Will’s story and begin praying about the program and how God may want to use me to support it.

The founding Dean of UDCOM, Jeanne Rupurt, MD began in her role in June of 2025 and I had the honor of meeting with her in October to “give my pitch” for total physician wellness-physical, emotional, relational, and financial. I found her to be a warm, open, creative, and enthusiastic leader. I was encouraged that she will have the medical students’ wellbeing in mind as she builds her program.

Since then, I have attended a national women’s physician and dentists conference and gotten involved with their mentoring program for medical students and residents. It was another Kairos moment, to hear that Dr. Rupert’s first faculty hire, was someone I introduced her to.  The introduction came via a long-time friend, artist, and prayer partner of mine from Dubuque.  Who would have thought that a gal that I met during Kindermusic mom’s hang out time 31 years ago would still be a dear friend. When Susan M. asked me to talk with her very brilliant and kind brother about the new medical school, I said “Sure.”  Before our call I did my homework on Dr. Doyle and was absolutely blown away. Then to have a conversation with “The Father of Spatial Biology” was a delight. I have to say that I was nervous to talk with someone as bright and accomplished as Mike, but his humbleness and honesty was as compelling as were his credentials.  What a gift Dr. Michael Doyle will be to UD. 

Applicable information has kept flowing towards me, so I have continued to collect articles and research on wellness and the current deficiencies in advanced medical education.  I have been introduced to outstanding physicians, educators, and researchers, building my network of potential supporters for UD’s efforts.  It has felt energizing to know that my desires to redeem Will’s passing may have a future reality. Just yesterday I connected with a gifted young man from the Pacific Northwest with a heart for wellness in the healthcare industry, and with the gifts of organization, networking, and communications. This was another encouragement as I wanted to wrap up and send my journal message to you today!

Kairos…God has been busy at work faithfully weaving together resources with my passion to restore our loss of Will with a mission that could saves an entire generation or more of physician from burn-out, death, and relational devastation.  Stay tuned for how God will allow me to be involved either officially, in a programmatic way or voluntarily in this mission.  

https://youtu.be/es8KfGbTKkE?si=0cDwkTy2UR_DxGQ9         I believe you….

Thirdly, Kairos moments haven’t stopped with UDCOM, God has also been at work bring about another redemptive opportunity…with some of my extended family relationships.  The brokenness that goes back 13 years, actually longer. 

After Bruce’s mother passed away in 2010, his father (Pop) was very lonely, and he remarried a recent widow from a Griefshare program. During the past dozen years there has been numerous situations, actions, inactions, interactions, and difficult words that have caused hurt feelings and alienation within the family.

Because extend members from this part of the family have lived between four and 24 hours driving distance apart…it has made dealing with some of the situation easier, by way of absence. But the distance has left little opportunity for improvement in the relationships. 

In December Pop’s wife had a fall and subsequently a fatal stroke (the Kairos moment was that we happened to be in their town to celebrate an early Christmas with them when it occured) and she passed suddenly.   Pop announced immediately that he was going to move up to our town to be near (able to walk to see) his great grandchildren. Our daughter Kate had just announced that she and her husband were expecting their second child, a girl this time…after many years of praying for another baby.  So, the Chronos moment turned into a Kairos moment in a couple of ways.

Our granddaughter’s first picture!

What a gift it was that we didn’t need to convince Pop that we wanted him to live near us. Since he wanted to move away as soon as he could, we spent the last two months helping him deal with memorial services, updating his estate documents, listing his home for sale, helping pack-up and dispose of his household items, coordinating PODS moving and loading services, and updating bank/credit card/insurance/investment/utility documents.

God’s hand was in the timing of it all, as two houses were/were about to be up for sale on our street.  There are only 18 house total on our road and ownership turn over hasn’t been a common occurrence. And the Kairos of it was that both houses were on either side of our daughter Kate’s house, across the street from us! 

Pop and Bruce’s sister Linda, who is moving down from the Chicago area to live with her dad, looked at the two houses, along with several others in the area, and they put an offer on one.  It had actually been sale-pending with another buyer, but the financing didn’t work out and Pop and Linda got it.  Another Kairos moment. 

Since then more Chronos has been spent applying for a bridge loan to buy the home…before his existing one sells, coordinate plans with Bruce’s sister to move here as well to live with Pop, contact contractors to get bid on renovations to update the home, take photograph/measure/and then brainstorm renovation ideas,  coordinate deliveries of construction materials, source a new primary care physician, and figure out a whole new home shopping, eating, and living routine…to integrate Pop into our lives in this interim period of time.  

Oh, this has all gone on while I had foot surgery and couldn’t drive for 6 weeks and Bruce has dealt with multiple health issues with appointments, test, scans etc. between Mayo here in Jacksonville, FL and Bascom Palmer Eye Institute in Miami. 

Cindy’s foot during surgery…making sure the screw is placed
correctly…can’t say I have a screw loose!

It is very clear that it has been a very busy Chronos as well as it’s been a time of Kairos. It is a “time” of praise and prayer for us.

 https://youtu.be/a_H4bNsmQvc?si=TrFVvJCPXcqwiP0E      

Since this is Holy Week, the celebration of hope in my faith tradition, I pray that God continue to give us eyes to see Him in action and His grace and wisdom to navigate the opportunities to heal and restore, not just the medical community but also the community of our family.  May you and your family also experience God’s hope in your lives, and may you gain insights to the many Kairos moments to be celebrated.

Thanks be to God!

https://youtu.be/sT5whoRt4wA?si=WKoqKvvZyZBDX_po     

Keep well until next time….

Epilogue: Hope

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Our neighborhood here in the Dominican Republic is getting festive and loud. Many of the homes that sit quietly for most days of most weeks are now surrounded by multiple cars. There are sounds of children laughing and parents telling stories as families gather with their favorite music blasting from portable speakers. There is the smell of delicious food wafting on the almost constant breezes. It’s become busy here in Pinares de Buena Vista on this Friday because it is Semana Santa! Specifically Good Friday of Holy Week.

For those that profess the Christian faith, Holy Week is the last week of Jesus Christ’s earthly life. Holy Week marks His final days filled with highs and lows and the pinnacle of the faith tradition… Jesus’ death on a cross and then His bodily resurrection, with the promise of life everlasting for all who believe He is the one and only son of God.  For those who didn’t grow up in this faith tradition, it can be a lot to wrap your mind and spirit around.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

John 3: 16-17

For Christians this week is all about the fulfillment of the coming of the Messiah in ancient Hebrew scriptures. It is all about the overcoming of evil with good. It’s all about hope. The eternal hope that promises joy, peace, and love. A hope that surpasses our understanding and the reality of our earthly lives. A hope that can transform earthly lives, when given the chance. 

https://youtu.be/948Sm3bFH-s?si=ZQ1-2hJgBpBwIO5a

This type of hope requires a level of faith… belief or trust in something or someone beyond oneself. People of Judeo-Christian or Muslim heritages claim to believe or have faith in one God. The one who created the heavens and the earth. The dictionary places the word “faith” not just as a word that can be described only in terms of an organized religion, but also with synonyms like confidence, trust, and hope. See the image here for more words.

The one difference in the contextual meaning of the words faith and belief is that they represent a present or current state of thinking/being. While hope represents a future or anticipated state of thinking/being.

The scripture from the Holy Bible says:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11: 1

It’s true, isn’t it? If we have seen something, then hope isn’t needed to know that it exists.  

Here’s an example that I was given when I was in Iowa this past week, accompanying my husband, Bruce, for the University of Dubuque’s Board of Trustee’s spring educational conference and semi-annual meetings. I’ll share a bit more about why I decided to use some of my Delta air-miles at the last-minute to attend. And I’ll share the hope that I have because of conversations I had outside of those meetings. But first, I’ll share the hope that spring is coming to the upper Mid-West. 

The pictures below show the slow progress of spring’s arrival in the upper Mid-West this year.  If you have lived in a cold climate in your life, then you know what I am talking about: the seemingly unending cold and grey.

The first picture is from our dear friend’s, the Drs. Ward, front yard. The first signs are their daffodils, often the first signs of spring. In the next two photos you’ll see there is still a lot of grey in the landscape across Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois, but green grass is beginning to peak out, as are the buds on trees and the light green of the willow trees, in my sister-in-law Linda’s neighborhood in Antioch, IL. 

Nature is beginning to awaken with migrating birds, heralding the coming arrival of spring.   There is hope that the winter’s below freezing, 20-degree weather from the week before, won’t return for at least another six months. 

Since it might not be spring arriving that’s on the front of your mind, what things have you hoped for recently? Is it a new spring wardrobe, a new job, a partner to build a life with, a larger house, a (another) child, funds to pay off your house and live comfortably when you retire, good grades on your upcoming final exams, a good result on the upcoming medical test, a way to balance your budget, acceptance into the university (graduate school) of your choice, an improved relationship with someone close to you, a successful season for your sports team, a place in the assisted-living community for your parent, enough money to afford important medication, a new car, an organ transplant that could save your/a loved one’s life,  a way to break away from a bad habit, a healed heart after a significant loss….?

So, what are the things that God has said that we are to hope for?  Here are a just a few of the promises that God spoke to the early father’s and prophets of the faith. 

“7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”

Deuteronomy 31:7-8

God promised the Israelites an inheritance… of land. He also promised His presence, protection, faithfulness, and encouragement. And below, His continued presence, peace, strength, instruction, and encouragement.  These are promises not only for the Israelites but for all of us as well. 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 NIV

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 26:3

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

Psalm 32:8

Or, “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

Jerimiah 29:11-14

https://youtu.be/9PugD11k3JU?si=AZOjhjuKYAzG6QND

Yes, God promises His knowledge of our future, with good plans, more words of encouragement, His continued presence, a listening ear, peace, guidance and a release from what holds power over us.

Did you note that God has a few conditions to his promises?  The primary condition is for all of us to love Him and worship Him as our only God.  He also wants us to seek a personal relationship with Him, to do our best to obey His commandments (and if we believe in Him, He promises forgiveness for our failures). Finally, He calls us to love others as we love ourselves.

Some people find these conditions and his commandments restricting. But God gave them to us because He loves us more than we could ever imagine. His commandments provide us guidelines/guardrails for the best ways to live. Living as He prescribed is the way to walk in the will and blessings of God. “Life is full of tradeoffs,” as the expression goes. It’s just that some of life’s tradeoffs are so important that they have an eternal impact for us. As difficult as being obedient to God may seem, His intent is for our best lives.

https://youtu.be/LsY6or9_V-w?si=cPjROMtVSlVEY-hE

During the past hard five years, it has been a huge comfort for me to know that God has been “for me” and my life. While I might not have always felt it, that isn’t what faith is about. Faith isn’t a feeling. remember…

“Now faith (belief, confidence, or trust) is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Since my last journal entry, my husband and I have had yet another opportunity to exercise our faith for things hoped for, and literally not seen. You see, 25 years ago Bruce had an unprovoked retinal detachment that, after 5 surgeries between Orlando, Fl and the Duke Eye Center in North Carolina, left him with functioning sight in left eye only. His right eye has recently had a cornea transplant and then he had left eye cataract surgery.  Yet he has been able to drive and navigate life with little interference, until recently.  Multiple visits and tests with his retinal surgeon in Orlando since late last fall have provided no answers for the reduction in his vision field in his one functioning eye. In late February, the day before we flew down to the Dominican Republic for four months, Bruce had a test run on a very special machine at Bascom Palmer Eye Center in Miami, FL.  It was one of only two machines in the entire state to run the test that they hope will reveal a diagnosis. And we are still waiting on the results, 7 weeks later. The results should have taken two-weeks at most to be available. If Bruce has a vision issue that can’t be treated, reversed, or repaired, it could significantly change how Bruce navigates daily life as well as what we anticipated the next 10-15 years would look like for us. So, we wait for the medical recommendation, holding on to our faith for encouraging news from Bruce’s next consult in three weeks.

Faith is the hope, confidence, trust that God will continue to be who He has always been and will do all that He has promised that He will do.

3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
4     In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 56: 3-4 NIV

Will with his rescued cat Max during his residency…Will with Bruce at Siesta Key after his diagnosis, and back in the hospital before his second surgery and hospice care.

Speaking of waiting…Most of you know that over five years ago now, our son Will was diagnosed with stage IV cancer of the small bowel, while in his final months of an internal medicine residency.  What a few of you also know is that in the early days of Will’s cancer journey he and I began an outline of a program that has the potential to impact the lives of the next generation of young doctors.

The program focuses on the comprehensive preventive health of young practitioners.  The key fundamentals of the program, if integrated into medical and advanced medical education, could impact the lives, longevity and happiness of our country’s physicians, not to mention the the quality of care that they provide to us.  The ethos of my country’s medical education community is ripe “for transformation”.  And I want to personally be part of a movement to honor and redeem Will’s lost life and impact the quality of future physician lives. 

In the past five years I have spoken to over a dozen different physicians and friends placed in high places in medical education about this vision for better physician health. I have waited for any door to open and any doctor willing to commit to helping take the lead on the implementation of Will’s and my idea. Waiting is not a naturally easy thing for me. And waiting quietly an entirely different thing that I struggle with. But I have tried my best.

5 My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.

Psalm 62:5   NASB

In December of 2024, The University of Dubuque (UD) announced that it had received a sixty-million-dollar gift from John and Alice Butler. John, a long-time board member, made the gift to establish a School of Osteopathic Medicine, the first medical school for the state of Iowa in the past 125 years. This new school will train Doctors of Osteopathy (DO’s), which is the same type of program that Will earned his doctorate from in 2017. The graduates from UD’s new DO program will serve the region that, like many other parts of the United States, is experiencing a shortage of physicians. It is a critical time in the founding of the school’s facilities, faculty, and administration, and, as I see it, the establishment of the principles that will guide its curriculum and operating environment. 

So, that is the concept and hope I took to and have since come away with from my conversations last week with, the chairman of the university’s board, the Chairman of the new medical school’s dean search committee, the UD President’s wife, and several other board members and key university leaders. 

I have hope.  And I am putting my trust, belief, confidence…faith, in the God who makes promises and fulfills them. I am praying and trusting in Him that I’ll have the opportunity to speak more about, and if it be in His will, have active part of the concept of transforming the environment of medical education, beginning at UD.  I have hope.

https://youtu.be/29IxnsqOkmQ?si=UCJBT0i8vPogZ5DR

Will’s first year medical school “White Coat”, Will preparing for the day’s medical rotation, Dr. William E. Hedgepeth

Easter in my faith tradition represents a time of hope, rebirth, and renewal. It is a time for reflection on a God who loves the whole world so much that He would do anything for us so we can spend an eternity of joy and happiness with Him.  Anything…. that included giving up His only son to be tortured, killed, and raised from the dead.  

I know something of what that loss of an only son is like and therefore, I am willing to give what I can to help save other doctor’s lives.

I have hope that Bruce’s eye can retain its sight and that you will be prayerful in your support for that along with my desire to initiate the program for the University of Dubuque’s DO program and for me to personally participate. I would greatly appreciate it, if it is God’s will, and for His glory.

https://youtu.be/9KIhYZQ_ovw?si=zyo4EXD9ZiorXbgU

Will’s first glance at his sister, Kate, in her wedding dress, one year before his diagnosis.

24 So be strong and courageous,
    all you who put your hope in the Lord!

Psalm 31:24. NLT

Epilogue: Plans

Published on by onparallelpaths2 Comments

(I send my apologies for the length of this journal entry. It was as difficult for me to write, as it was for me to navigate life this past year. But that is how God seems to work with me and my soul… on parallel paths. May His nature and name be honored in the words written and the comparisons drawn.) 

Yep, I am a planner. And it definitely wasn’t my plan to take nine months to finish writing and post this journey entry. That itself is a clue of how the past months have gone…

Making plans is just as natural for me as having a beverage in my hand during every waking hour of the day. If you are one of my friends that started off as a banking workshop client or participant, then you know I am known for having three beverages at a time on the front table of the “classroom.” 

Of course, that hasn’t always worked out well. Like the time I sat back on the table and almost landed on my cup of coffee. Fortunately, it didn’t turn over on my laptop.  Or, the time I was driving with my charging mobile phone when it fell into my open glass of water.  Maybe “Spills” will be a future journal entry.

But back to “plans.”  Creating a plan involves a lot of big-picture imagining, often driven by priorities and goals. For me planning includes thinking of outcomes/consequences, and then weighing risks and returns… as us “credit risk professionals” like to frame it.

Yes, I love to brainstorm, create options, decide about a direction, and then formulate a plan to “get there.”  Often in the details of the plan are where my checklists come into play. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll read my Journal entry “Epilogue: Lists” on this website.

It’s the dreaming and planning that come first before the lists. Without a dream or vision, you can’t create a meaningful plan.

I love to plan everything; from what’s for dinner (most nights), or how to entertain visiting friends from out of town or out of the country, or what to buy for someone for their birthday, or who we can make plans to see on our annual fall RV road trip, or how to best support the growth and development of each of my children (grandchild now), or where to live as we get closer to retirement age, or what the house needs to be like to allow us” to age in place”,  and on and on.

Here is a favorite recipe given to me by
our pastor friend Mairisine from
Northern Ireland…yum!

I don’t know about you, but I started planning parts of my life when I was young. I began building expectations for things like: sorting out my interest and availability for various afterschool activities, dreaming of vocational careers to pursue, or which club and community service involvements to sign-up for. Whether to make part-time work a priority in the schedule, and what learning curriculum choices to make to accomplish my educational/work goals.  How might these choices impact the next decision about my education or training?  Which college or university would be best to attend? What work vocation do I want to pursue?  Where in the country or world do I want to live?, or at what general age do I think I want to make a marriage decision? Do I want to become a parent and if so, when? How do I ensure that established priorities are supported on a daily and annual basis? How can I support my loved ones, to help them become their best? 

As I reflect on it, life is rich with planning opportunities! Each stage of life, from childhood to senior adulthood has a vast number of opportunities and requirements to plan.

But how accurate and effective have I been at making plans over the decades of my life? In some ways, it’s really an irrelevant question, isn’t it?  If you’ve lived long enough, even a couple of decades, you know that life doesn’t always go according to your plans.  

I have learned that whenever I build a plan my expectations start getting built as well.  And this is where I often set myself up for frustration and disappointment.  

Just today, (written on October 8, 2024) up in lovely Door County, Wisconsin, where we are camping and celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday, I re-dislocated a toe and couldn’t get a shoe on.  

Having good hiking shoes on, to enjoy Peninsula State Park is part of the Hedgepeth family’s 50+ year tradition. Well, there goes my plan to hike up Eagle Tower, across Linda’s Meadow to the Pooh Tree, then down to the Shore Trail, pass the cliff caves to get to Green Bay, and back. Really!!!!  

Scrapbook photos of trips to Door County, WI
with Bruce, his parents, sister Linda with
husband Colin, Will and Kate.

Bruce and his sister Linda back at the cliff caves beneath Eagle Tower. Without me.

Of all days to have a mishap, why today?  On top of that, today hurricane Milton is headed toward central Florida and specifically the city of Sarasota where we’ve lived on two different occasions. And there are many family members and friends who will be in harm’s way or have their personal property threatened by the storm. 
 
Since our campsite in the park has no WIFI or cell service, I am spending time today at my sister-in-law’s hotel while she, her friend Debby and Bruce make the coveted hikes.
 
This time, with my iced foot up and my laptop on, is giving me an opportunity to pray for, call, email, and text with many Florida friends, to make sure they are provisioned and taking cover with the storm approaching. It is making me slow down during a time that has been very busy and freeing me up to write to you. Yeah, I would rather be hiking and enjoying the cool and sunny weather up here, but God is giving me the grace and perspective to take a deep breath and appreciate what He has put on my heart today. (P.S. several friends had their home flooded; the Foxes condo and contents was destroyed inside during the hurricane that day, the Deems lost the first floor of their home along with their RV and a car, others lost roofs, fences, access to their businesses, every thing in there refrigerators and freezers, and many lovely trees. Fortunately, everyone was safe from personal harm.) 
 
 
Today is another example of how my plan results don’t always materialize as brainstormed.   Frequently, something  gets “lost in translation.”

Sometimes it’s something as inconsequential as today’s hike, or the look of the decorations I put on a cake, or the consistency of my gravy for mashed potatoes at the holidays. Or how an outfit just doesn’t come together like I thought it would.  This one as been particularly problematic over the decades when I’ve traveled with a limited wardrobe and wanted to look appropriate for a client engagement. Like the time in 2006 when Delta lost my luggage for five days out of a six-day work trip to Florence, Italy.  Oh, darn… I just had to go shopping!!!   I’m still thankful for Mindy K. my training partner on that trip who found a local marketplace with realistic prices for clothing and a second suitcase to bring it all home in…  instead of the “high street stores” that wanted $150 for a simple white blouse!

Minor plans not coming to fruition are frustrating. But what happens when an important plan doesn’t work out?  Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, and on occasion, even downright devastated to have plans fall through?  Speaking for myself, when the expectations for something significant are not met, it can be difficult for me to adjust and move ahead.

https://youtu.be/EH87xXauLoI?si=XJinup6Y9otaxJik

Like, when a job didn’t turn out to be what it was promised to be or as rewarding as what I had imagined. Or when a personal relationship ended on a sour note, or when the life of someone very dear to me ended way too soon. 

This last one has been specifically true when our son Will passed away from cancer four years ago on November 10th. Gone are the plans for his cardiology fellowship, a wife, a family, a practice near us, more family trips together… continual reminders that my imaginings and “plans” for Will…will never be. 

Will and “Mama” at his sister Kate’s wedding in March 2018.

Yep, plans not materializing can be devastating. And even though it’s been years, there are times where I feel the pain, anger and questions rise up in me. The devastation feels like it was just last week that we lost him.  There’s been so many times when I’ve tried to get “a handle” on our loss… that I could hardly pray. 

One of several displays set up by my
friend Lori L at Will’s celebration of
life, July 2021. Don’t you love the
Scrabble 30th birthday greeting made
by my sorority sister Kathy M.?

 I had prayed so hard for his healing. We worked so hard with his doctors and did our best to give him excellent medical care his entire life. So when Will didn’t recover from his cancer I sort of stopped reaching out to ask God for help for me.  

I guess I took on our daughter Kate’s mindset when she was 3 years old. “I do it myself!” I’ve wondered if God really listened to my begging to heal Will and if He cared how I was doing. Like a self-sufficient and stubborn 3 year old, I’ve let this keep me a bit distant from God.  

When I’ve found myself able to wonder and pray, I ask question like “will there never be an answer as to why Will had to suffer and die?” or “Is there a way that I can turn Will’s pain and the loss of his talents into something that can help others?” or “Am I ever going to really be “okay” again?”  So many questions for why the “plans” didn’t work out and why I still feel lost in all of it.

https://youtu.be/J3tA08OK7-g?si=wGGiCp44bbFcpZb8

Deep down, I know that I haven’t lost my belief in God.  I believe that He is all knowing (Omniscient) , all powerful (Omnipotent) , always loving and always present (Omnipresent) . I have experienced for decades how He can speak, guide, forgive, and provide for me. At one point one of my main spirtitual gifts I could admit to having was that of faith. But since our loss of Will, I just haven’t “felt” heard, guided and provided for. It’s felt like a huge testing of my faith. 

I know that Bruce and I have had so many people praying for our entire family.  And I am aware that it is by God’s grace that I am even to get up and accomplish anything on some days. Yep, somedays, I feel like I am living life, just going through the motions. So thank you, if you’re one of these special people who have prayed for us.

https://youtu.be/M-0QXi7cLwI?si=ZYJEJFm4aIDH5ltL

These past months have been another one of those times where a lot of plans didn’t turnout the way that I imagined.  I had plans for how I would spend my time during our late January-June 2024 visit to the Dominican Republic. That is when this journal entry began to take shape in my heart and mind.  

I had plans at the beginning of last year that I would be working many days up at the Young Life’s camp, Pico Escondido in Jarabacoa. Plans to have lots of interactions with many college, church and family teams that work up at camp and with my Dominican kitchen sister’s and other ministry expats. 

But my early January Mayo in Florida diagnosis with Morphea, and the prescribed autoimmune medication I started off with, left me often tired, nauseous, and with a headache. Lacking the energy and enthusiasm that I typically operate with, was not what I wanted or planned.

The elevation plans for the house
that didn’t get built.

Add to that the frustrating 18 months, of not being able to get a home built, two doors down from our daughter and her family. We trusted a builder that we had worked with before in a successful renovation, only to find him lying to us and cheating us. The time and money that we lost during this process was not in the plan when we signed a contract with him.

The still empty lot…it’s for sale. Come be our neighbor!

You know how life plans go, don’t you?  Maybe for you it was that job offer you were certain was yours, but it never came through… and you had already pictured what it was going to be like and even had your workspace all mentally organized.   Or, was it that special relationship or marriage that didn’t work out the way you and they promised?  How about an accident or long-term health condition that has you unable to do everything that you used to do? Have you had a diagnosis that you dread? Have you been left with chronic pain?  Or was it the violation of trust by someone close to you? Or was it about your friend, child, parent, sibling, or spouse passing away much too early?  Could it be the inheritance you were promised was taken by someone else, or the savings you built and appeared to be sufficient for; a house, education, business-start up, or a secure future, that ends up not being enough?  Was it choices that you made that you wish you could reverse? Was it the partner or child that you always dreamed of having that hasn’t happened?

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”
Proverbs 19:21 NLT

“Here’s the preachy part,” as my retired firefighter-paramedic-missionary brother-in-law Colin would say (Colin who is in the black T-shirt in the scrapbook picture above, unexpectedly passed away the day before my mom in September of 2022). The holy scriptures of the world’s three monotheistic religions agree on telling us; that when God made heaven and earth, He declared it all good. Then the original human creations of His did the one thing they were told not to do, and this disobedience allowed evil and sin to be unleased on our world.

We live in this world with that “fall” from God’s plan. So things are no longer perfect or fair. Because of human’s separation from God, which wasn’t intended, bad things happen. It’s the evil in the world that brings us loss, sadness, destruction, and pain. While it’s not God who causes the bad things to happen, he does allow it. Like me, you may question why would a good God allow this to be a reality? Why do such hard things happen that impact us for reasons that are beyond what we think we deserve and our ability to understand? There are entire books written about this very topic and the hard question. So, I won’t attempt to come close to providing you all the evidence to prove it’s true. But here are a few scriptures that I am clinging on to.

Scripture tells us that God’s ways are not our ways. Here is how the prophet Isaiah puts it:
“8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9. NIV

Also, there is a season for everything.  God is the only one who has the big picture of what goes on in the world-we only see a tiny part of what He is trying to achieve. We aren’t promised a trouble-free life (no matter how good we are or how much we plan).  But, despite what we feel, God has clearly stated that He loves us so much.  

The almighty God desires a relationship with us so that we will keep Him our top priority and that we will rely on Him to turn even our failed plans for our safety, provision, and our over-all good.  

King David wrote in Psalm 62:7-8:

“My salvation and my honor depend on God[c];
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.”

Read and meditate some more with me on these next verses which have been preserved over the millennia for us. 

From King Solomon:

A Time for Everything

“3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, NIV

https://youtu.be/YpGXyD8Owzs?si=k4WT8w_SPFN9GWgP

I know that I don’t have any control over “time”, or the season that I find myself in, but deep down I still know Who is in control of it all. It is my faith that I am holding on to, and it’s God I am trying to grow closer to, regardless of how life and my plans are playing out right now. I am trying to focus more on the good that I have been blessed with instead of the change in plans that I didn’t want. Surrendering to God, my plans, and trusting Him to take care of everything, has become part of my morning quiet time prayer meditation. 

Jesus Christ said, 

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 (NIV)

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Proverbs 16:3

We also have God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And The Apostle John wrote:

“3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21: 3-5

https://youtu.be/4_2aX_i4qpM?si=8zdNGCmOhK-UdktA

What has God made new out of my failed plans?  Here are just a few examples I want to share.

My early career disappointments turned out to be the exact experiences that I needed to build a learning and development career. A career that I have found to be extremely rewarding and has provided flexibility, travel benefits, and income that worked well for my family.

The pain and disappointment of no hike with that dislocated toe meant found time to catch up with friends that were in the middle of a hurricane and added to my understanding of messed up plans. 

The failed plan for the construction of a new home means that the bottom-line final costs for the renovation, we had to pivot to and just completed, was likely less expensive than the original plan to build the other home. 

Our new home prior to renovations…it’s across the street from our daughter Kate and her family and the still empty lot.

The diagnosis of Morphea and the autoimmune medication I have been taking did alter my plans for ministry activities last year, but it did allow me to enjoy lots of restful time with the mama-dog Dora, who adopted us and then gave birth to four delightful puppies. What joy they brought (and still bring) us, was a gift.

Dora and her months old puppies last May
Dora and her puppies scramble for attention and love. Don’t we all appreciate the same?

I still have no answer for some of the biggest plan deviations/deviations in my, and I likely won’t this side of heaven. You bet asking about Will is going be one of my first conversations with The Almighty.  

Bruce and Walker making memories,
crab hunting at the beach.

I am focused on appreciating more and more making time for and memories with those living family and friends that I still have, because of all the losses I’ve had, Will, my parents, Bruce’s Mom, a brother-in-law, and school friends.  

https://youtu.be/KcIMnHf3HyM?si=LNJb95jyl-4FHxV2

What I am holding on to during this season of reflection and healing is; a focus on praising God for His many blessings, a focus to use God’s word in making new plans for my life, and a focus on the perspective of allowing troubles and failed plans to be opportunities for emotional growth, spiritual strengthening and overall perseverance.

https://youtu.be/OoEr8BSsrxg?si=y2E7_ct81tH3c0t

Hear the wisdom that come to us from King Solomon:

Wisdom Bestows Well-Being

3 My son, do not forget my teaching,
    but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
    and bring you peace and prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.[a]

The things that God is calling me to plan are: 

–To know in my spirit, not just mind that He Is still there for me.

–To spend time quietly with Him, (“We must keep God in front of us” Jerry Bridges)

Spending part of my quiet time each day with “An engaging visual journey” book by Hannah Hurnard, et al, a gift from a dear friend Kate M.

–To spend time in holy scripture to understand His ways and promises more 

https://youtu.be/GKGu_e7YMrA?si=RgvbXEbjxYV2Ke5S

–To focus on my love God more than I do my love for anyone or anything else.

Jonathan Edwards, the colonial American Congregational preacher, theologian, missionary to native Americans and president of the college of New Jersey which became Princeton University, said in his sermon “Safety, Fullness, and Sweet Refreshment in Christ”,   “If God in his providence calls his people to mourn over lost relations, and if (God) repeats his stroke and takes away one after another of those that were dear to (his people); it is a supporting, refreshing consideration to think that Christ has declared that He will be in stead (fill the place) of all relations unto those who trust in Him.” I know that I need God to fill the empty places in my broken heart. I can’t do it myself.

–To trust in Him for what is really the best plan for me. He has the big picture, I don’t.

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28   NLT

God has the best of life planned for us that seek Him.  And He will help us use our life’s planning failures for His glory. He wants us to have hope in His good plans for our lives.  “Hope,” now there is another word worthy of examining. Hopefully, it won’t be nine months before we journey together with this word on parallel paths.

https://youtu.be/O4Am3G0qLcM?si=pcix-5HJLai2XQy-

Keep Well!

Prologue: Transient

Published on by onparallelpaths3 Comments

Monday was Memorial Day in the States. A day set aside for the country to remember those men and women that served in our Armed Forces and gave their lives for the freedoms that we value and hope to enjoy for the “remainder of our days.”  Memorializing, remembering, and appreciating lives that have passed. 

Two wonderful “moms”, Grammy and Kate with Walker. 2019

Here in the Dominican Republic (DR) Monday was also the day after this country’s celebration of Mother’s Day.  Like back home, in the DR Mother’s Day is celebrated with flowers, chocolates, gifts, Sunday lunch out and a visit with one’s “Madre.” It is a day to remember and grieve if your mother isn’t living anymore (like many of you who have also lost your mothers… like our neighbor Cesar whose mom passed just a few weeks ago) or grieve for those women weren’t able/didn’t have the opportunity to be a mother. It’s a day to appreciate those women who were/are unofficial mothers to us and to be thankful for the difference they made in our spiritual, practical, and relational lives. This long weekend for me is a time of reflection, appreciation, celebration, and some grieving.

Today I am reminded that I came across the word “transient” recently when finishing my reading of Jean Fleming’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life.  A book created from Jean’s own “Old Woman File”.  A file she began over 20 years ago when she turned 50 years old.  Her file was a collection of reflections, ideas, goals, and wisdom about ending well in this earthly life. As the book’s forward by Monica Sharman says; “It is for you who want to see the big picture of your life and God’s purposes.” 

When I Googled for definitions of “transient,” I got these results:  

Noun: a person who stays in one place a short time. A momentary variation or oscillation. Adjective: Lasting only a short time; impermanent. Passing especially quickly into and out of existence.  Bound to change, pass or come to an end. 

Synonyms included: brief, fleeting, momentary, and temporary.

Jean’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life, was gifted to me by a Young Life ministry friend, Toni M. from Colorado. We were catching-up in Anaheim, CA at a global conference in January and I said something in my sharing of the five months that where ahead of us in the DR and where I was emotionally in my post-loss-of-Will… There was something in my words that prompted Toni to share that she was currently reading a book and that she felt I should read it too.  It wasn’t until I received her gift and read the author’s name that I realized that I had met, had lunch with, and then listened to a retreat message with Jean Fleming.

The year was 1992 in Orlando, FL, post-birth of our son Will, prebirth of our daughter Kate, and pre-Seminary career change for Bruce. Jean Fleming had published the book, “A Mother’s Heart” and she had been invited by our church to share her love of motherhood and God with us for a “Mom’s Retreat” weekend.

So, I was thrilled to get my hands on more of Jean’s insightful words. And of all her powerful words and wise suggestions in this book, “transient”, is the one that spoke the loudest to me this week.  “Transient” as both a noun and an adjective.  

Cindy at the pyramids, Giza Egypt 2016
DR front porch view 2024
Cindy and Bruce in a hot air balloon over the Valley of the Kings, Egypt 2017-note the sheaves of grain gathered on the valley floor.

I have seen in my life the transient nature of this earthly world. The “passing especially quickly into and out of existence” of loved one’s lives, jobs, financial stability, dreams, mental abilities, physical health and shelter…

I mean, here I am sitting on my front porch in the mountains of the Dominican Republic, after decades of physically moving for Bruce’s pastoral ministry work. Forty-two years of changing jobs, making new friends, and living in homes from Florida, to Georgia, to Michigan, to Florida, to Iowa, back to Florida and then… back and forth across the state of Florida in several cities. Filled with joys, an extremely rewarding career, travel adventures and sorrows, this has been our lives. Transient. “Impermanent” and “bound to change.”

How often do you get invited to a friend’s birthday party at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England? Thank you Anja K. from the Netherlands 2018!

Even today, life is changing here in Buena Vista, DR. Take Dora, our transient/foster-street dog and her four precious pups are undergoing change. Dora’s puppies are eight weeks old this week and they are beginning to be taken to their adoptive homes. Transient. 

Walker is ready and excited for Kindergarten! May 2024
Does mama Dora know that soon her pups will be living with another family? May 2024

We’ve been reminded of the fast pace of change over the past five days, when we have received photos of graduations. First of our grandson Walker from pre-school and for our twin nephews, Nat and Eddie, from High School. Those first and last days of required education are done for these three guys. Transient. 

Eleven months ago we sold our home in Sarasota, Florida and bought a lot in Green Cove Springs, FL, down the street from our daughter and her family and… after almost 9 months of finalizing house plans (with minor revisions and requirement to comply with Florida building requirements and a draftsman who twice made random changes) worked on by three architects, from two states… we are still waiting with just dirt, on county building permit approvals. We are looking at returning stateside in less than a month to live for (heavens know how many more) months in our 300 square feet RV. Transient. 

It’s still just dirt………..

So, in my yearning today for words of peace; for the losses I’ve experienced, the innumerable changes we’ve made in the past decades; and for grace to live today with hope for tomorrow; I’ve found comfort from both Jean’s words and assurance from holy scriptures.

“In God’s sovereign plan, loss often comes before a gain.”  And the prayer;

 “Lord, help me trust that there is gain in my losses.” Jean Fleming, Pursue the Intentional Life

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21

https://youtu.be/hNrzcG2dhFo?si=C6VokZfftjVAjGdA

And God said:


“Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth below; for the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and its people will die like gnats. But My salvation will last forever, and My righteousness will never fail.” Isaiah 51:6

“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” Hebrews 13:14

https://youtu.be/cJUtAw21qAM?si=60bR9jxfuhd6fzmI

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6: 19-20. 

“This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.” 1 Timothy 4:10

https://youtu.be/vSrz6MfL4JQ?si=dZqoKHboPi3AMQfx

Yes. For me there is peace in knowing that what we experience here on earth with the joys, changes, as well as sorrows, aren’t all that our lives will be. That I don’t have to have all my “why’s?” figured out, and that it isn’t even remotely possible to figure it all out. And that I don’t have to even feel good, happy, or thankful every moment of every day. The answer to many of my “why’s?” is because it is all transient.

Ecclesiastes 1:

“The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”

3 What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes….

Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes continues with:

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

Because God created the heavens as well as the earth.  It is all under His command and that it’s all eventually going to be okay. Scripture tells us that:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

The nature of this world is transient as is the nature of our feelings. Fortunately, the nature of God is not. God is immutable… unchanging over time or unable to be changed. God is consistent, reliable, trustworthy. Even when we don’t see it or feel it.  

https://youtu.be/ggPEQ_COpBA?si=S583gj0JvH_D1uph

Since we know and experience so little of God’s big-picture plan, the most peace-filled course of living (as incredibly hard/impossible as it can be some days) is to be appreciative of the present. Look for the blessings and joys that daily come along, coupled with the challenges of this earthly time. 

I give thanks today for; the lives that were lost in prior wars so that I could live in freedom; for the jobs I have held with the opportunity to learn and grow while meeting amazing people from all parts of the world (just this week I heard from Suzanne from Sudan/Oman and Jo and Karola from Germany) for the abundance of friends (some of them of the animal variety) and family whom I have cared for and loved, and who have likewise, loved and cared for me; for the homes that have kept me cool/warm and safe; for the financial resources that we have been blessed to receive; for the mental and physical health that I have been given; and for faith in a God who isn’t transient, and who has promised me His love now and forever more… unending, never changing, regardless of my transient feelings.  Thank you God!

One of many visits with Will, Jo, and Karola in Sarasota, Fl, 2016
Cindy and Suzanne working together
in Doha, Qatar 2019

Prologue: “Shoulds”

Published on by onparallelpaths4 Comments

For the past 30+ years my vocational passion has been training bankers. Now don’t yawn on me yet! Not all financial training is dry and boring. After teaching my first program in financial accounting to a group of newly-minted, and highly stressed, college graduates… and because it actually was really boring… I was bound and determined for future experience to be engaging, enlightening, and understandable. By incorporating things like a “Jeopardy” style game to the material, handing out A+’s for right answers to encourage participation (who doesn’t want an A+?), using jokes, and telling of my own “real-life” stories of failures and successes that were relevant to the topic… I’ve been sufficiently employed ever since .

Because of my early facilitation learnings, I’ve been blessed with the joy of working with some of the brightest financial minds in the commercial banking and equipment finance industries. I have worked with participants from North America, Latin America, the Caribbean, Europe, Asia, South Africa, the Middle East, and even Australia. They have taught me many things about the financial industry, the world’s religions and cultures, and the richness of diverse personal relationships… all while I have led them in accounting and the process/art of credit risk analysis. It has been a wonderfully fulfilling career.

Aside from what I’ve experienced in the workshops I have led, I have logged over 2.5 million air-miles with Delta Airlines alone. I have gotten to see some beautiful sites around the world… many wonders like: orange hued sunsets gleaming over the roof tops of Venice, across the Nile in Cairo, and at JFK airport;

the elegance of springbok/elephants/giraffe/rhi-nos/and lions living on the South African plains in Pbilensburg; snow-topped Bavarian Alps soaring near Munich; the two Sierra Madre mountain ranges circling Mexico City; Lake Erie with snow flakes falling and white caps rising on the shore of Cleveland Ohio; baskets bearing spices and animals at the labyrinthine ancient trading market, Souq Waqif, in Qatar; the Golden Gate Bridge stretching across San Francisco Bay, CA; the San Antonio Texas River Walk meandering through town; shimmering buildings on The Palm Jumeirah in the Persian Gulf, Dubai;

Mount Rainier on a sunny day towering over Seattle, WA; the bluebells (and a crazy-stinky-weird plant called Titan Arum blooming for 2-3 days every couple of years) at Kew Gardens outside London; Niagara Falls roaring near Buffalo, NY; the Eiffel Tower and Seine River gracing Paris France; grazing deer in the park lands at the Earl of Warrington’s estate of Dunham Massey, near Manchester England; the river Thames flowing under Tower Bridge in London; wafting music down cobbled streets in historic Old Montreal; yachts gliding on the blue waters of Biscayne Bay, Miami… many “wonder-filled” sites!

The word “wonder” spoke to me this week during my quiet time here in Buena Vista, Dominican Republic. I have been reading a book recommended to me by a former client and now dear friend Kate M. titled: Quieting the Shout of Should: How a Life of Less Can Lead to More, by Crystal Stine. As soon as I heard the title I downloaded the book for a couple of reasons. One reason is that the word “should” is one I use a lot when I lead training courses, and another reason is because I have struggled with living with many “shoulds” for as long as I can remember.

https://youtu.be/Ejycllx5iwA?si=rvJPsXtIYSK5X4yP

During decades of analytical work, that I have either personally performed or taught, the important concept of establishing expectations for what you “should see”, has stood out. For example; before you look at a set of financial statements, calculate a ratio, or meet with a business leader, you need to set some mental expectations. If you don’t have expectations of what you “should” see and hear, you’ll miss some important insights about a business’s management, financial performance, potential risks, and financial opportunities. There is strong evidence for the benefits of efficiency and accuracy by establishing “shoulds” throughout the analytical process.

During my classes, I carefully articulate this, so that participants don’t misunderstand my wording… that ‘we will be “should-ing” on the company at times, and it’s important that we do this.’ Pardon me if you find this disrespectful, but this usually gets lots of smiles a bit of laughter in return. Because of the phrasing, my financial training participants don’t forget that It’s critical to establish expectations or “shoulds.”

Likewise, I have done a lot of setting expectations or “shoulds” on myself and others during my life. I think I come by this not only with my higher education training, but naturally by way of living with my Mama.

There were many “shoulds” put on me and my siblings when we were growing up. I am sure that I have passed along some of them to my own family and I think I have just naturally continued to build on them as I got older.

“Shoulds” like how you: should dress at certain times of the year or for a particular function; should make your bed first thing in the morning; should brush your teeth before bed; should change your sheets every week; should always wear clean underwear… in case you get taken to the hospital (really… is that why?); should wash your dishes right after you eat; should offer to help others; should say “please” and “thank you”; should eat healthy; should get plenty of physical exercise; should get eight hours of sleep a night; should go to university; should get a good job; should work your hardest to get promoted; should entertain others in your home (center-piece on the table and all); should manage your money well; should write proper thank-you notes; should return phone calls/texts within 24 business hours; should put other’s needs before your own; should save for retirement; and on and on. Can anyone else relate to these?

And most of these “shoulds” don’t include anything about raising children or caring for elderly parents or a sick family member, if you happen to have any of those responsibilities as well. There are a lot of “shoulds” that we have heaped upon us by ourselves, the community we live with, and/or from the busy world in which we live. Do you feel “should-upon” yet?

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Jesus Christ by Matthew 11: 28-30

Think about some of your “shoulds.” There are a lot of good “shoulds” that we take on, aren’t there? There things that “should” be done just so that we can survive. But what happens when we focus on the “shoulds” that seem so to be weighing us down? What if we are living a life that doesn’t reflect the will of God and the deep desires of our heart? What if we let worry about what we are doing or not doing creep in? Worry, if whether we can do it all or if we don’t do the “shoulds” well enough to please whomever it is that is “should-ing” on us.

“Worry,” I’ve said for decades, “is something that I learned well from my mother.” Mama was an amazingly bright, organized, and capable woman. A professionally educated teacher who was raising four children, while working in my Dad’s business, and volunteering in every organization that she was part of, making time to cook delicious family meals, and creating all kinds of ceramic gifts for family/friends/teachers, while learning to sew our elementary school clothes (Lordy, how I hated wearing those polyester matching outfits, particularly in the heat of the summer.), teaching Sunday School for over 45 years, never missing the timing of taking all of us to a scheduled extra-curricular or church activities around Orlando, and graciously hosting people in our home… all with great originality. “She was the original Martha Stewart” as my sister Susan says.

My Mama was an amazing person. But she had a lot of “shoulds” that she worried about doing. My observation was that her “shoulds” and worry over an event often made the outcome of her work AMAZING. But the anxiety of it all was stressful for our household. You may be able to relate to this mindset, “if I worry a lot over something it can keep bad things from happening”. Mama never said this with her words. But I, apparently, watched and listened and saw the results, because I found that I adapted many of her strengths for how to work. And also with a pattern of “shoulds” and worry. You’ve heard the sayings, “Our greatest strengths are often our great weaknesses, and “Two sides of the same coin.”

https://youtu.be/-Gv8VDqc-os?si=qZATW6sNnyM8AVbh

A twist on this thought pattern was introduced to me this week when I read at my reader’s 50% marker, in Quieting the Shout of Should, where Crystal Stine proposes,

“The opposite of worrying less isn’t to be happy all the time, but to seek wonder–God’s hand and presence–in all our circumstances and as we do that, as we intentionally shift our focus away from what we can do to what God has promised to do, we can spend our time working on the things that matter–the small next steps that help us grow to be more like (Him) Christ.”… “True joy and peace don’t come from what we do but from God.”

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4

“And why are you anxious concerning what you wear? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God does clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?” Matthew 6:28-30

I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m aware that I don’t want to be “should-on” anymore. I want to do only the things that matter. Particularly if it’s “a something” that would matter to God. Is it my age and my life experiences? Or, might it also be some wisdom from God? I have less energy and patience to do the mandatory “shoulds” anymore. So, I started to meditate on Stine’s words of turning worry into wonder and I started looking around me.

https://youtu.be/pJy2Pk5ewSI?si=t9fbXKIw94FZfnJz

Just this past weekend, my husband Bruce and I took some time on Sunday afternoon to drive and hike up to a waterfall not far from our home. The day had a cool breeze and view. Yes, I find it easy to be near to God in nature, it was “wonder-full.”

Since living here in the DR part time, I have made a habit of having my quiet times on our front porch, that offers a peek of the mountains around us. I love the quietude, the sound of the birds, and the feel of the cool breeze from my rocking chair. Carving time out of the day for reading scripture and praying could feel like a huge “should”. But I love the peacefulness I am gifted with during my time set apart for God. And it didn’t take me long to find another precious “wonder” literally close to me.

If you’ve read the last journal entry on this site, “Epilogue-Dislocated”, you know all about the street dog Dora, her accident, and her rehabilitation in our front driveway. Well, about two weeks into her recovery, the daughter/mother team who helped us seek Dora’s medical care, Dinorah and Teresa, came by to visit. It took them about one minute for them to notice that Dora was looking… “Gordita”… a little fat and they “joked” that maybe she was pregnant. Well, a week later during a trip back to the vet check-up for Dora’s accident… and a sonogram later, it was confirmed that she was indeed expecting… and only a couple weeks away from delivering four puppies… all with her broken pelvis and three working legs.

So, the vet immediately planned for a c-section delivery for the puppies. This plan required us to take Dora back and forth down the mountain to La Vega several more times for the vet to check her progesterone levels, in order to get the delivery timed right. Wouldn’t you know that as soon as I left the country for a one-day class in Chicago, she gave birth, days early, in her makeshift shed in our front driveway.

Dora’s four puppies, just days old. Look with wonder at their tiny feet, and the variety of their unique coloring.

I remember from my own children’s births and holding our day’s- old grandson Walker, that new life is such a wonder!

https://youtu.be/d-iJcn37L6U?si=5AYa3cim84X6z9wv

Our son Dr. Will holding his five week-old nephew Walker… “wondering” over his tiny features. July 2019

It’s truly a “wonder,” that Dora found us… willing to help her with her medical treatments. Wonder that she arrived at our home before the puppies arrived. Wonder that all four pups arrived naturally and safely (after the accident and multiple X-rays) and that Dora has had the natural ability and strength to care for them, as if she had no complications at all. “Wonder” over worry.

The “wonder” of Dora and her puppies has me thinking about how happy and courageous she seems. Despite her handicap and lack of certainty over her future living conditions, she calmly does what she needs to do. She trusts us and receives our attention and affection joyfully, while she peacefully rests in the present.

Dora isn’t stewing or complaining about anything. She is patient with her demanding puppies and gracious to us when we bathe her (we think she likes her few minutes of spa time away from the puppies) and then change the linens in the puppy-pen.

She will sit in quiet for hours beside us to be petted, watching the clouds move over the mountains with the wind rustle the pine trees. She isn’t doing any planning and organizing because she is just being. Even as Bruce and I googled when and how to start the puppies on solid food and wean them off of their mama, Dora gradually started spending more time away from them and let’s them whine a bit longer than before. She isn’t worried about any “shoulds” for how the puppies next care steps will go. The only thing that get’s her riled up is another dog in the area.

Dora is a daily reminder to me to wonder, not worry, about what is next. Dora is a literal example to me of what holy scripture has to say about worry, wonder, and the resulting promise of peace.

” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God peace will be with you.” Apostle Paul to the Philippians 4:6-8

So Paul’s instructions are to not worry, but pray, regardless, with a thankful heart and to look for the “wonder-filled” things around for us to keep our focus. Then, we will be blessed with peace. Moses added to this the encouragement to be like Dora, strong and courageous. Not worrying about what we “should” be doing, what isn’t working, or what might happen. Instead trust in God, who loves us and will provide for us and give us His promised presence.

“Be strong and courageous, Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Moses in Deuteronomy 31:6

Managing the “shoulds” and worries of life is about keeping our focus. Focus on God, not on ourselves and what we “should” do to manage life’s daily responsibilities and sometimes monumental challenges. Keep a focus on God, who promises to give us peace.

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” Apostle Paul to the Romans 8:6

https://youtu.be/PtKS7XXY1aw?si=riolAegvvU1_OX9

Here’s to keeping our focus on the “God of Wonders” for a full life and peace… there are no “shoulds” about that.

Epilogue: Disjointed

Published on by onparallelpaths3 Comments

The “word” that has come to me this week, is disjointed.

When I Googled it I found definitions such as: “Separated at or as if at the joint, lacking coherence or orderly sequence”, “being thrown out of orderly function”, “not well connected and therefore often confusing”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore, difficult to understand” Sources: Merriam-Webster.com, Cambridgedictionary.org, and Collinsdictionary.com

“Dora” is the reason for this entry. Dora is the recently-arrived-in-our-neighborhood stray or “perro callejero”- aka, street dog, here in Buena Vista, Dominican Republic (DR). She showed up over two weeks ago, hungry and getting around on three of her four legs. She had seen her the week before on the curvy road that runs alongside our neighborhood, dodging busy traffic. Huge cringe!!!!

The community’s day-time security guard, Jose, took compassion on her and began feeding her, so she has happily stayed in the area. It was just a few days after her appearance that we found out that Jose brought his family’s meal leftovers to feed Dora and when Jose had a day off, she didn’t have anything to eat. So we began chipping-in our scraps and even bought for her a bag of dried dog food to keep at the security gate.

Either Dora can spot a tender heart a block away or she must have noticed us walking to deliver food to the plastic sour cream container lid that she dined from…we are three houses down the street from the security gate. Because she started; sleeping in the corner of our drive way, greeting us in her skittish way, trying to follow us on our walks/runs (it’s hard to keep up with only three short useful legs), hanging out on front porch with me during my morning journaling quiet time. Our connection progressed to Dora sleeping on our door mat, allowing us to begin to pet her/rub her belly, and finally, giving us little kisses/licks on our hands. Such a sweet little thing she is.

Then this past Sunday, we returned from a Young Life middle school weekend camp to hear the news that Dora had been hit by a pick-up truck, right out front of our house. She was hurt, cowering in some nearby bushes and growling at Jose who was first to go check on her. We were so upset, and we called Dinorah, Jose’s step-daughter (read the prior entry Epilogue: Connections to hear a bit more about the family) to see if she could assist us in getting Dora medical help.

Thanks to Dinorah’s coaxing (‘The Animal Whisperer’, we call her), Dora was removed from the bushes and carried to our car. With my husband Bruce driving, he and Dinorah got Dora to a vet close to home. She received a pain shot and muscle relaxant, and then they made a second stop at an emergency X-ray center (where they serve typical serve a human…not a pet/la mascota).

Dinorah and Bruce brought Dora back with an X-ray (one side view they took) and a preliminary diagnosis from the Vet that that her left hip joint was likely dislocated. So, Sunday night Dora slept on our front porch, in a plastic dog house, that she had previously refused to enter. Monday morning, with a referral for another Vet to hopefully reset her hip, Bruce, Dinorah, and I wrapped Dora in a beach towel and drove her down the mountain, to Vet numero dos.

After more X-rays and a second opinion, it was found that Dora’s pelvis is broken (this week’s accident result), she has a congenital issue with with her sacrum (lowest part of her vertebrae) where her spinal cord is compressed (life-long and painful), and she had a prior operation on her left hip where the head of her femur, the “ball” of her ball-and-socket joint, was removed… so her hip and leg will forever be disjointed. “Disjointed”…not connected, so she won’t walk or run smoothly, which will make the basics of her everyday life more difficult.

For now she is under shelter, either resting on her beach towel under our car or under a plastic table we moved to provide more shade and shelter under the eves of the house… with Vet prescribed limited mobility for a month. She is taking anti-inflammatory and joint repair medications in her meals until she has a re-evaluation in early April.

Fortunately, she is able to get up to “take care of business” and find a more comfortable reclining position, so she is slowly showing some improvements. Dora even managed through a warm bath today and is resting comfortably on a clean beach towel as I type. It is hard to see an innocent animal hurt, isn’t it? And it’s hard to think about her always having difficulties in her daily mobility. Pray for us to help her find a permanent home or a care solution here in the DR before the end of June, when we return to the States.

Dora and her accident have me thinking about the number of different ways that my life, and those of other loved ones I know, have been disjointed.

Disjointed.. like my efforts to understand and speak Spanish. I am continuing to build my Spanish vocabulary but struggling with my speaking confidence during our five month stay in the DR this year. But I honestly admit that it’s slow going, because my approaches are “lacking in coherence”, “not well connected” and therefore my results are “often confusing”, and “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore difficult to understand.”

I can laugh at this example, but it’s often frustrating and even embarrassing for me to not be able to communicate with people I am working with, or when I want to connect with people at a deeper personal level, or when I need to manage an important task out in the community. I know the efforts that I need to make to become proficient in my conversational Spanish. Efforts to prioritize greater time for daily study and practice. Yes, I need to get more “immersed” in Spanish if I am going to experience the confidence and joy of better communications. Yes, I know I am living here… but they speak so fast and loud… I am intimidated!

It’s clear to me that being disjointed isn’t a desirable “state of being.” When I think about it, this insight applies equally to other area’s of my life. Disjointedness can be present and a description of so many different aspects of our lives. Whether it relates to; the path of our careers, how we go about accomplishing home/apartment/flat projects, having to deal with chronic pain, illness, and death, our plans/efforts to save for our retirement years, the state of our family and/or personal relationships, you can fill-in more areas…but maybe most importantly, the state of our spiritual relationship with God.

For me, disjointed right now looks like … living in two different locations/countries during the year, managing the complicated logistics of not having a US based home to store our personal belongings in that we didn’t move down to the DR, struggling to keep adequate contact with family and different friends around the world whom I love, making decisions about different opportunities to serve others, and experiencing different sabbath worship traditions.

Disjointed… like entering that stage of life that includes wanting to make adjustments in my work load requirements (since there are fewer work-travel opportunities after COVID, it has made some assignment decisions a lot easier) and making decision about beginning to access some of my retirement options.

Disjointed… like losing precious family and loved ones that were so essential to my everyday life. This week I have been grieving with Wednesday’s news of the passing of our dear courageous friend, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and awesome basketball enthusiast, Mike Oliver-from Maitland, FL, Athens, GA, San Anselmo, CA and finally, Birmingham AL. Yes, my life has had many ways of feeling disjointed.

I have to admit that this combined disjointedness, this sense of “lack of continuity”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and therefore, hard to understand”, has made my continued spirituality growth challenging in the past several years. I have felt disjointed in my relationship with God.

When you step back and think about it, can any relationship be deepened and thrive if it is disjointed? A quick Google search confirmed for me the belief that while long-distance relationships (LDR’s) can initially be extremely difficult to establish (40% fail within the first three months and one source quoting research that only 16% of people are currently in a successful LDR’s), they can be equally successful in the long-term. One source identified the three factors of; loneliness, lack of trust, and lack of communication, being the major contributors to the failure rate of this and any kind of “disjointed” relationship. So, wouldn’t the concepts apply in reverse… any relationship that focuses on good communication, trust, and time together…stands a high percentage chance of being successful?

I think many folks look at “a relationship with God” like they do with a long-distance human relationship. “He” isn’t visibly present and not frequently audibly heard. Holy Scriptures say that He is known to speak quietly and in subtle ways that we will easily miss, if we don’t turn down the noise around us and aren’t tuned into His voice.

Being disjointed in our understanding, communications, commitment to God will definitely make the relationship feel NOT; connected, smooth, orderly, clear, or logical. In other words, if we don’t make consistent time to connect with God through the various means of spiritual practices, if we aren’t clear or logical in our requests, and have a willingness to listen to His replies and direction, is it any wonder that the disjointedness with God will lead to us to feeling alone, frustrated, confused, and struggling?

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55: 8

I don’t know about you but I think I am often to blame when there is a breakdown/dislocation/disjointed communication… in my daily walk through life with God. I believe that I can be quite sufficient in my daily life, thank you very much. Relying on my own abilities and ideas. So, I set up an Long Distance Relationship situation with God.

https://youtu.be/_09jF1yK4z4?si=7wqQxtxabXTBpSv9

This is completely opposite of what Holy Scripture instructs us:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all way acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

During my first weeks here in the Dominican Republic I’ve read John Mark Comer’s book Practicing the Way, which is about discipleship and seeking an authentic relationship with God. Comer (a Christian) presents the insight that we all are “disciples” of something or someone–a keto diet, reality TV, work success/recognition/titles, following “The Royals”, curating the perfect social media presence, a favorite performer, a bigger bank account, a political preference, our children/family, social/eco justice issues… and sometimes even our faith preference. On Tuesday I read in Comer’s book:

“Of course, the greatest paradox of Christian spirituality is that it’s in dying that we live, it’s in losing our (false) self that we discover our (true) self, and it’s in giving up our desires that our deepest desires are finally sated.” page 213

And just a few pages John Mark adds:

Life is hard, with or without God. But what’s really hard–nearly unbearable for some– is facing the pain and suffering of life apart from God. So is trying to save yourself rather than be saved. Living in a godless, shepherdless, meaningless universe–that’s really, really hard.” (page 215)…” “So, rather than question, ‘How much am I willing to surrender to Jesus (God)?’ ask yourself honestly, ‘How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?’ ” page 216

A reflection form Holy scripture agrees,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28:

Once you’ve answered Comer’s question of “How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?” the next one is likely, ‘What do I need to stop doing, to give myself the space to do the drawing near to God… so that I can enjoy the outcomes that are promised from connecting with Him?’

https://youtu.be/DuZPOVFcFJ4?si=Rhgo7aIshuwZZZt

There are likely hundreds of thousands of books written about methods (historically referred to as ‘disciplines’) for enriching spirituality. You may be very familiar with the ways to become closer to God. Some of subscribers of this websites have attended one or more of the women’s retreats that I helped lead over the past two decades. Retreats where we stepped away from all that was our “regular lives” for a committed time to practice ways to incorporated many of the classic and contemporary means of growing closer to God. Scripture tell us:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:8

So, you likely know this, that in order to have time to get spiritually reconnected with God (to read, study, pray/meditate, journal, worship, fast, silence, music, serve…), you have to disconnect (become disjointed) from the things that distract you and take up your precious time and focus.

https://youtu.be/LpYD7HQo9QQ?si=Fm_jKriD2a5DriwH

What are the desires of your heart? What are you currently a “disciple” of? Is there “clarity” and a “smooth and “logical connection” between your life’s “discipleship” and the outcomes you desire most? Is your life “disjointed” so you’re not living your life in a way to reach the real desires of your heart? How can you best “reconnect” to live your best life, now? What can you eliminate that is distracting you from time with God?

https://youtu.be/PsAcN8p8EV4?si=9lyehdwlfKD0zRP

“Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 3-4

I am committed to “doing less” to allow for more time to live in such a way that God can heal the areas of disjointedness in my life. I pray that you may want to (continue to) join me in the journey to answer these questions above and then put the answers in to practice.

Let’s delight in the Lord, because that is why He created us, human kind. We were created to be connected with Him, to worship Him, and to enjoy Him forever….not to be disjointed.

https://youtu.be/ggPEQ_COpBA?si=FjlaaHeRXwdhh137

Blessings,

Cindy

Dora chilling after her bath,
She sends her best to you too!

Epilogue: Connections

Published on by onparallelpaths10 Comments

The word “connections” was calling to me this past week. So I Googled the definition and this is what I found according to Vocabulary.com. It includes:

  1. (noun) a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it.)
  2. (noun) the process of bringing ideas or events together.
  3. (noun) the act of bringing two things into contact.
  4. (noun) an instrumentality that connects.
  5. (noun) shifting from one form of transportation to another.
  6. (noun) (usually plural) a person who is influential and to whom you are connected in some way (as by family or friendship) “Connection.” Vocabulary.com Dictionary, Vocabulary.com, https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/connection. Accessed 15 Feb. 2024.

This past month here in the Dominican Republic(DR) has been filled with examples of our need for one of the above definitions. We needed one right after another. From the search for an important doctor’s referral, to needing consistent internet in order to lead virtual training, to coordinating logistics to participate and celebrate a dear friend’s doctoral success, to searching for our lost cat, Lulu just yesterday. Yes, one challenge right after another.

The “connection” image on Calle Duerte in Santo
Domingo that sparked this entry.

The word “connections” was brought to my attention when I saw this mess of an electricity pole in the capital city of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic on this past Sunday. This pole sits right outside of the hotel we stayed at, on a barely-one-way-street, in the old Colonial Zone. Compared to all the lovely sights in this beautiful part of that huge city, “What an eye-sore” was my first thought .

For some reason, I felt compelled to take a photo of the jumbled dozens of lines all converging on this one poor overloaded pole. I wondered and yeah, I even prayed about the word “connections” and why I felt compelled to capture this image. Something about it begged to be contemplated. It didn’t take long to start to make my own mental and spiritual “connections” to this ugly pole. It was less than 24 hours later that we received a distressing message that brought out in me all kinds of questions, anger, disappointment and eventually a bit of personal conviction about the significance of “connections”.

Here are some of my revelations. Just before we left to spend five months here in Buena Vista in the north central mountains of the Dominican Republic (DR), I was diagnosed at Mayo Clinic with an autoimmune condition called Morphea Scleroderma. It is the over production of collagen that causes the inflammation and hardening of the body’s interconnectivle tissues. Untreated, it can cause disfiguration and limitation of joint movement and if it become systemic, can affect the lungs, heart, kidneys, etc. Because my localized version is treated with steroids and immunotherapy medication, it requires frequent follow-up with bloodwork (to make sure the meds aren’t damaging the very organs they are trying to protect) and adjustments managed by visits with either a dermatologist, oncologist or internist. Thank God it is nothing life-treating at this early stage.

However, since it took me a month with; two urgent care visits, two rounds of antibiotics and steriods, two consults with Mayo’s internal medicine department, two rounds of bloodwork, a set of x-rays, an ultrasound, and finally a consult with a biopsy of my forearm with Mayo’s dermatology department to diagnosis it… I was very skeptical that I would be able to quickly find a physician down here to help me start the recommended immunotherapy routine that I needed. You know that there is always a seed of truth in stereotypes, and in Latin American things are typically known to move at a much slower pace (unless you are talking about how fast they drive) than they do in the US. Not getting started soon on the needed medication was very concerning to me.

But thanks to some of our Young Life International (YL) ministry friends here, Roy and Rebe, we were able to get a “next day” appointment with a very tenured dermatologist at a hospital in Santiago, just an hour away from our home. Thanks to Bruce’s proficiency in Spanish we found Dr. Duran to be knowledgable and her prescribed protocols very similar to my Mayo docotor’s recommendations. She referred us to both an extremely efficient lab, only 15 minutes from our home in Jarabacoa, which provided us same-day digital result reporting, and a pharmacy located just around its corner. So, I started my needed medications the very next very day. What an amazing “connection”!

Following up on the theme of the Latin American stereotype of things being slow, my financial consulting work here the past three weeks has been the beneficiary of good “connections.” This time related to the internet and my ability to work virtually from here in Buena Vista. Thanks to the work of Domingo, the local handyman who knows a lot about a lot of electrical, plumbing, carpentry, and all-things-house-repair related, we had an inverter system installed before we arrived for these five months. Because the power flickers or just goes down here for random reasons, we knew it would be essential for us to have reliable internet in order to work from here. And it works! After running two two-day programs, and Bruce using it constantly for work Zoom calls and “visits” with family and friends, we are confident that it will continue to support our work well. Another thankful “connection.”

Our choice to have a home here in the DR, and to use it as our living/work base for a substantial part of each year, primarily revolved around “connections” and the powerful sense of community that we feel here. If it weren’t for the vitality of the work our YL colleagues are doing here and their warm invitation for us to come, experience it, and become part of it, we would have missed out on seeing how God is changing lives in the DR, including ours. The basis of Young Life’s ministry is one of personal relationships with each other and the focus of helping young people begin and grow their spiritual relationship with God. This mission has been going strong since 1941.

My husband Bruce in the kitchen at Young Life’s camp Pico Escondido. It’s amazing the delicious things they can make from green bananas!

On one of the first years that we were introduced to YL was in Nicaragua where we met a young, 19 year-old ministry volunteer, whose name is Hollman Mendoza. My husband, Bruce, and I have been blessed to be supporters of Hollman’s ministry, to work side-by-side with him across Nicaragua, and be part of his growth from a Club leader to a Regional Director to the first native National Director, to now serving as Vice President over all of Mexico and Central America through Panama. We have had the honor to host Hollman in our home in Florida, for him to meet and become a special friend with both of our children, Will and Kate. Hollman gave Will a flag of Nicaragua that was proudly displayed over Will’s bed while he was in his internal medicine residency down in Miami.

We’ve seen Hollman not only grow professionally but personally, as he is married to a lovely woman and father to two teenage children, all living and serving currently in Costa Rica. It has been a treasured “connection” for our family for many years. But the “connection” has not stopped.

It was about six months ago that Bruce (The Reverend Doctor and ordained Presbyterian pastor) was contacted by Hollman and asked if he would be Hollman’s doctoral advisor for his dissertation. Bruce felt honored to be asked and subsequently worked with Hollman to finalize his research and get it prepared for his in-person defense. To Bruce’s surprise, Hollman notified him just a few weeks ago that, in order for his doctorate to be complete, Bruce would need to be present for the questioning time at his dissertation defense meeting, in Santo Domingo (2.5 hours away). So, after more planning meetings and logistical coordination, we drove to the nation’s capital to be ready for meeting. That is were I saw the pole of “connections” and that is where Hollman successfully defended his work and will officially receive his doctoral degree in ministry at a graduation ceremony in April. We couldn’t be prouder of him and of this special relationship “connection”.

Hollman Mendoza celebrating his doctorate with Bruce and me.

While in Santo Domingo, on the eve of Hollman’s dissertation defense, we received a text from home in Buena Vista from the gal, Dinorah, who was watching our almost 11 year old grand-cat, Lulu for us. Lulu had somehow gotten out and hadn’t come in for dinner. We don’t know how it happened but there were several folks coming and going, working on the house, and by the time we got home she had been gone, with no one spotting her, for 48 hours. We were devastated. The sitter felt awful, particularly after she found a bunch of Lulu’s fur on a neighbor’s back porch, apparently from a cat fight. There are lots of stray cats around, as well as dogs, large birds, and fast moving cars and motor cycles. And Lulu doesn’t have her front claws, so she can’t defend herself very well. Heavens, she is a spoiled suburban house cat, what can you expect? Well, I am ashamed to say, that I didn’t expect much.

Lulu helping me prepare to teach a virtual banking course from Buena Vista, DR. She loves the warmth of my computer. No she isn’t spoiled.

I literally screamed some very un-pastor’s-wife-things at God from the backyard… I felt totally defeated and overwhelmed. I guess it because I have lost so many family members (Will, Dad, Mom, Brother-in-law Colin, Aunt Patsy) and friends in the past few years (El’s husband Pete, Victor’s daughter Kate, Lisa’s sister and brother-in-law…) that I didn’t felt I couldn’t handle it. I had just had it.

Yes, I know in my head that God loves me, has the best plans for my life, can accomplish anything that is in His will… and he has blessed me with so many dear ones to love, but the accumulation of all the loss, change, and uncertainty felt crushing. I guess… I guess I felt abandoned.

Now, I know some of you know Lulu and know how “hissy”, “biting” and aloof she can be, so you are likely rolling your eyes at my reaction. I know you can’t empathize with me. But I was a wreck and I am not proud of how I handled myself and my grief.

After I sobbed, hugged the cat sitter, Dinorah (who is, we just found out, married to Domingo the repairman), and her mom, Theresa (who happens to be married to the community’s security guard Jose… now there’s a story of “connections”), I decided I couldn’t just sit at home and do nothing. So, I walked about the neighborhood calling her name, and weeping…  As I wondered our gravelly roads calling for Lulu, I felt ready to just give up… everything.

One of the main gravel roads in our neighborhood.

The huge bags under my eyes that are still present the next day, were evidence of how gut wrenching it was mourn Lulu’s disappearance and almost certain demise… on top of everything else these past several years it felt like “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Questions were running through my head like: ”Why live and love and lose, when it hurts so bad?” ”Why did we buy a home down here? What difference does my work and our ministry efforts even make?” ”What difference would it make if I weren’t alive any more?” ”Would things not be a lot easier to not even try to make “connections” or a contribution anywhere, ever again?” “Should I check on flights and head back to Florida as soon as I can pack a small bag… and leave behind everything that is part of this new life and service down here?”

The fury I was in and the questions that were blazing through my head and heart were really frightening to me. It felt like everything in my world was coming un-hinged. ”A crisis of faith”, it has sometimes been called. Or “A dark night of the soul. ” Or “At the end of ones rope.” “Whatever”… was about all I could muster when I could finally catch my breath.

So, I returned home from my neighborhood walk to unpack my suitcase from the Santo Domingo trip. Angrily tossing things haphazardly in to my drawers… and slamming them. While railing at God some more about the cruelty of life and stomping myself silly on the tile floors, I heard a voice calling out from our back patio. There was Chiquito, our pool/yard man (yes, we have one of those folks down here, also… he multi-tasks by keeping an eye on things while we are in the US). While he rambled excitedly to me in his Hatian-laden Spanish, I picked up a few words, something about “………….tu gato.” “My cat”???? I replied, and in my poor Spanish and then asked if he had seen my cat, and he said “Si” and was pointing across the neighborhood. So I said “nos vamos”, let’s go… and I took off following him. 

On the way we collected Bruce off one of the side streets where he had been looking for Lulu and the three of us cornered her, hidden under someone’s front porch, stuffed will a real estate sign and all kinds of old construction debris. After much coaxing with food, poking at her with a long pool brush pole, and a concerted effort to keep my voice calm and inviting, she eventually came out and we carted her home.

Thank God that we begrudgingly hired a yard/pool guy for when we aren’t here, who ended up being the one to spot Lulu and therefore, help us bring her home safely. Thinner, a bit skittish, and with a small cut next to her right eye that were the only evidence of the events that Lulu had been through. Yes, many thanks for our house-helpers and our neighborhood guard who were all the “connections with connections” we needed to find Lulu.

Lulu sporting her scratched face, back home.
Lulu licking her wounds under a neighbor’s porch.
Tauren Wells singing “Hills and Valleys” for us at Young Life’s every four-year global meeting in California in early January.

On the road from Buena Vista to Santo Domingo, the Cibao Valley.

https://youtu.be/8iDuZv_5MQk?si=2p5L8Nzl3xAz0m4M

However, the cumulative result of these “connections” for me felt much more significant. It was that apparently I needed of a humbling reminder that even though I’m currently living on an island, I am not an island. 

The Englishman, trained as a lawyer, then who became a soldier and explorer, who went on to be best known as a writer of love poems and finally an Anglican cleric, John Donne. In 1624, from “Meditation XVII” in his book Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, Donne penned this classic piece that is referred to as “timeless wisdom”, as part of a documentation of his sermons.

Here is the part of a sermon that as been most remembered down through history.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends’s or of thine own were.

Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” John Donne (Itsallaboutpoems.com)

Our home on the island of Hispaniola is in Buena Vista, is just a little south and west of La Vega.

No, I am not an island. I can’t do life all myself and there is one main “connection” that I should go to first, but embarrassingly, as a person of faith, I sometimes don’t. I mistakenly think that I can rely on my own knowledge and experience to achieve whatever it is that I think I need to do. This sin of self-reliance was made so clear this week.

Yes, I was in need of a huge reminder that with a “connection” to God, to put my trust in Him as my main connection, it is the only way to have a life best lived. A life centered on God, is the only way for me to walk in the will of God. Without that centering it is impossible for me to see the events of my life and the world around me with any measure of perspective. I need to be “connected” to God to make the most of my time spent with those around me, and to leave me feeling centered and at peace. These hard past few years have left me raw and feeling like I can’t expect much good to be possible in my life. But with God’s “connection”, I can trust that through Him all is possible. He is the only one who can!

https://youtu.be/YihKbG8-X3U?si=i0RHUZTK2ttC9T6S

So, in wanting to make Donne’s quote accurately complete, I started Googling more about this famous quote and about the author. I was very surprised to find out from a number of sources, that you will see cited along the way, that this piece is considered a meditation on death, and that it was written to share the insight that all beings are one with God.  (Quartz.com) It is thought to mean that we do not live by ourselves without the help and presence of others and “that we always need a shoulder to lean on especially during tough times” (Brainly.ph). None of us can live a healthy life on our own but we are created to be part of a community, and that community is what defines our existence.

The websites I read today (yes, thanks to my inverter and Domingo) said that the book Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, was written just a couple of years before Donne’s illness and eventual death. At the time of its writing, in November of 1621, Donne had been elected dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. A key part of Donne’s role as Dean was to “contemplate the relationships between men and God”, exploring the interconnectedness of all people. John and his wife (before she passed) lost three of their own 12 children. So, he was well acquainted with death and brought those insights to his faith in God and to his writings.

This famous piece of wisdom is considered an ode to community, togetherness, and the collected potential of the “connecting” the different parts of the community. It has become one of Donne’s most known and celebrated works, apparently influencing (“connecting” with) generations of writers and artists, including Ernest Hemingway.

As I read today on Commonlit.com about this specific sermon and its significance, I found it spoke exactly to where I was struggling yesterday and am painfully still aware of today. I am going to use, to their credit, some of the headings from their discussion, as a way to organize, reinforce and challenge myself about the “connections” that I am sharing.

Journey along with me to see how this literary analysis could shine some light on your own life.

Symbolism Of Islands

Most obviously, Donne uses the metaphor of an island to represent isolation and self-centeredness. By using this parallel-path of “no man is an island,” he urges us to leave behind the life of isolation and to connect with the broader world.

In what ways do I lead a self-centered life? What connections do I have with people who live and believe differently than me? How can I connect with others near me in a deeper way? What would have to change in the way that I live for this to happen? What might it like look like for my life if, instead of isolating myself, I made those types of “connections?” What benefits would there be to living more “connected” with this broader life perspective?

Unity of Humanity

The writing emphasizes that we are interconnected and should not isolate ourselves. It suggests that everyone is a part of a larger community and relies on others.

So what would happen if I just stopped trying to help others/make a difference? Isn’t it tempting to want to isolate ourselves with all the destructive things that are happening around the world? How might others be relying on me? Are there ways that I can be of greater use to others? What do I do with this insight?

Interdependence

Donne’s writing expresses the idea that we depend on each other for support, both emotionally and socially. The actions and experiences of one person can affect the entire community.

If that so, what difference am I making as I try to live faithfully and honestly through my struggles? Who could be I reaching out to with support during a time that is very difficult for them? What needs do I have that I need to ask for help to resolve?

Empathy

The piece encourages us to have empathy and understanding with one another. “It suggests that we should feel for others’ joys” (like Hollman’s successful doctoral dissertation defense) “and sorrows” (like the way many of you have come around us at our times of loss) because, in the end, we are all connected.

How can I express my feelings with love and compassion for those who hold different opinions than me? How can I open myself to “feel” what others are feeling so that I can celebrate with them or comfort them more authentically?

https://youtu.be/0qXn2I449qs?si=l01jmIGCEYrgAY5E

Mortality

Donne’s meditation reflects on the inevitability of death. The phrase “no man is an island” is a reminder that we all have a limited time on this early, and the loss of one person is a loss for us all. 

So, I wonder if I would be missed if I weren’t living anymore. What do I think people would miss most about me and the life I live if I was gone? What would I like for them to remember most about me? What do I need to do differently if I want to leave a legacy of love, encouragement, faith, ____________, ____________, _____________?

Social Responsibility

“No man is an island” conveys a sense of social responsibility. It implies that we must contribute positively to society and should not withdraw from our responsibilities. 

What responsibilities do I still have to fulfill, while I have days left on earth to do so? How may God use me to make a positive difference in my community? Who can I invite to join me in what I am doing to help the social fabric of my community/the world?

Spiritual Connection

To the secular world, Donne, is considered “a metaphysical poet”, because he added the spiritual dimension to his later writings. This piece “connects” the physical world with the transcendance of God. It also emphases the existence of this spiritual “connection” among people. So, I understand this to mean a “connection” with a Holy God, and a “holy” connection with others.

How am I “connecting” spiritually with those around me? Am I looking past the exterior to appreciate the uniqueness of them as an individual uniquely created by God. Am I being spiritually present to them, listening to what God has for them to share with me and sharing the Godly insights He gives me with them?

I think that my word of “connection” this past week, ties to encouragement of my needed “connection” with the community(ies) that I currently find myself living in as well as the ultimate “connection” with God. I need to trust that God’s “connection” is strong and steady and that it is working for my good. I think the word of “connection” has helped me see that as of today, I am still alive so I will be my best by “connecting” with others to mutually benefit us. I can also use my many “connections” for the good of those around me. Including people and situations that I have yet to encounter.

Holy scriptures tells us that:

That God is the “author and perfecter of our faith.” He specifically works at that ‘perfection’ of our faith through hard times… if we are open to His “connection” and we allow Him to transform our hearts. This is a key lesson that I have been taught this week.

“He (I) will have no fear of bad news; his(my) heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.” Psalm 112:7

That God desires to “connect” with us and that he wants to help us.

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear: I will help you.” Isaiah 41: 13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phillippians 4:13

That His love for us is beyond comprehension.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. King David in Psalm 13: 5

Like in other “connections” we need to be open to feeling, hearing, seeing the “connections” he desires because God doesn’t shout to be heard. By putting ourselves in quiet places, we can “hear” the words he has for us during the “connection” time.

Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling. Zechariah 2:13

He is thrilled when we take time to look for Him, to seek communications with Him… in nature, when we read His holy word. He desires us to pause to speak to us, to transform us.

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalm 105:4

God loves to use other people that we “connect with” to provide us with wise insights and motivation on the journey we call life.

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” Matthew 11:28-29

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Hy heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28: 7

Yes, God is the most proweful connection that brings all other connections into significance. So go out today and “connect” in a hopeful, loving way with God and others.

 https://youtu.be/zQATwkAklYw?si=4Cc4-WNuhT2LIPuz

Epilogue: Signs

Published on by onparallelpaths1 Comment

It’s that time of year when you don’t have to look hard to see all the signs of the holiday season. I noticed Christmas decorations on the shelves of local stores in the month of October, even before Halloween! Remember when retailers waited until December?

In the month of December my favorite radio station played non-stop the classic songs as well as new remakes of holiday favorites. They are even conducted a contest to vote for our favorite holiday movies. With the cold weather arriving, taking one look at the sweaters and accessories folks are wearing , or glancing at the monthly beverage specials at the coffee shop or your favorite restaurant…you’ll know… ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.”

https://youtu.be/d82Xzey-4B4?si=oYWIdvYWpdEkKX0z

But don’t forget it’s Hanukkah, too. Menorah’s abound near store registers, along with the gold chocolate coins and books like; Did Jew Know?: A Handy Primer on the Customs, Culture & Practices of the Chosen People by Emily Stone and Hanukcats: And Other Traditional Jewish Songs for Cats by Laurie Loughlin.  And I would be holding back if if didn’t share with you my favorite Hanukkah song by one of my favorite jazz artists:

https://youtu.be/7hBs8W9SPZk?si=0RW78OM-gLiab66g

Yes, it’s been easy to pick up on the signs of the season. However, this fall it was different kinds of “signs” that I caught my attention and imagination. Across the 4,600 miles we drove on our fall RV trip, I received some parallel reminders of what life can hold.

When we started off the five-plus-week road trip on October 6th , the weather felt like summer. The daytime temperatures neared 90 outside of Jacksonville, FL and the heat followed us up the eastern seaboard into South Carolina. Steamy and buggy conditions gave us no indication that we would soon get any relief from the seasonal south. Why does it seem to linger unmercifully longer each year?

It wasn’t until we passed through North Carolina, almost crossing into the state of Virginia that we started to feel like we needed to change out of our shorts and sandals and consider some jeans and closed-toe shoes.

The first signs of fall appeared when we climbed out of the RV in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, where we were greeted by a cool brisk breeze. Bring out the sweatshirts! The first sign of fall.  

Muted Fall colors and dropping leaves didn’t appear until we reached the state of New Jersey, just outside of Philadelphia, PA. With nighttime temperatures dipping in the upper 40’s it was time to put the flannel sheets on the bed. But it wasn’t until we drove across the (who knew) very long top of the state of Maryland and entered West Virginia, that we confidently knew that it was fall. Not only did the calendar say it was mid-October, but the colors, the temperatures, and the dip in humidity were all in agreement.

This is the part of our drive that it occurred to me, how I often need undeniable proof that something is real before I believe it. So, as we traveled across the country, some of the questions I started asking myself went something like… 

“Do I rely too much on external events and ‘signs’ to point me towards a spiritual reality before I accept what is “true?”  

“Where does my faith in God relate to the everyday navigation of my life?” 

“What if I am ‘not seeing any signs’ of God’s direction right now?”

“If I don’t see signs, does that mean He isn’t real?”…” What do I do?”

One thing I have learned about myself, after decades of teaching analysis courses for banks, is that I am a visual learner. So, it wasn’t but a few minutes after the above questions about signs started running through my head, that I noticed the literal road signs that we were passing.  

Like this next picture I took of road signs (yes, we are moving in the RV so the focus wasn’t the greatest and some of the formatting limitations (or my own) on the tool used here for publishing Onparallelpaths is not what I wanted ), but you’ll get the picture! 🙂

Section I: Directional Signs

Yes, the signs show that the road curves ahead to the left and there are guard rails and additional arrows to direct the traffic. It occurred to me: “Wow, what I would give to have those kinds of clear signs and protection in my life!!”  I’ve felt that I have sometimes just barely missed one of life’s curves and have scrapped my way around one of the “guard rails” in life. Can you relate?

So, there I was on I-97 through West Virginia, when a “holy moment” from God happened, as Matthew Kelly writes in his book entitled Holy Moments.  It was a precious moment when God reminded me that He  has indeed been, and will always be, my ‘protective guard rail,’ and that His holy scriptures are my life’s road signs to follow.  

The sweet moment of affirmation and conviction morphed into an obsession for me to see what other literal road signs we would pass and how I could see and hear some deeper meanings for the signs. Talk about making the travel time go faster!

Have some fun with me and listen for some spiritual insights for yourself:

Before I make big decisions and even manage day-to-day priorities, where do I seek my “travel” information to live the day? 

  • Do I lift-up my heart in prayer to make sure I am seeking God’s will?  
  • Do I just follow my regular routine regardless?
  • Am I on the right road to where God wants me to go? 
  • Am I reading holy scripture, listening to wise friends, looking at His creation with an open mind, heart, and ears to hear God’s latest updates?

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”

Psalm 119:105   NLT

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3: 55-6 

“What to do now?” Which of these coming turns lead me toward what is best for me?   Scripture says:

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”

1 Corinthians 14:33 

Then why am I sometimes confused?  Do I seek the Lord’s wisdom about which way to turn at an upcoming intersection…? “ 

Scripture also says;

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. “

Matthew 7:7 NLT

There have been times in my life where I have felt like I am just going around in circles… about a decision that needs to be made… about moving on from a past hurt… about a situation/conflict that hasn’t been resolved, or a habit that I really want to break but am not finding the will or way to do it.  

  • What keeps you going around and around?
  • How have you learned how to stop the endless circling? Who could you share this insight with?

  Life sometimes brings situations where we must keep going ahead. As much as we would like it, we aren’t allowed to turn back. Scriptures says:

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Romans 5: 3-5 NLT

God’s “don’t turn back” signs are intended for our best futures. And anyone who drives a vehicle knows that you can’t drive ahead well by looking backwards.

I haven’t found it always easy to know the right direction to go in life. There are many ways God has pointed me in the “right” direction in the past. What ways has he used to direct you? How did He show you the “sign”?  

Was the direction: 

  • A bit of wisdom from a friend… 
  • Inconvenient circumstances that end up being a blessing… 
  • Making a tough decision that wasn’t popular with those around you but one that was morally and ethically sound…
  • Was it following the commands from holy scriptures even though you didn’t feel like it?

“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”

Matthew 6:33   Amplified Bible

It is always a good feeling when we are given an open way out, just as another way has closed. This is exactly what has happened for both my husband Bruce and I, when we have experienced life or work situation “trainwrecks” and God has pointed us toward solutions that were satisfying and financially sufficient to meet our needs. 

  • When have you or someone you love experienced the one-way-closing and the blessing of another one opening?

I think I often overreact to bumps on my road of life. I tend to make them out to be some sign of something more serious, than a dip.  Maybe it is a bit of PTSD from past “crashes”, but if it is really just a bump, they aren’t permanent, just a momentary occurrence. “God, give me the grace to slow down and to take life’s dips and bumps with greater flexibility and patience. Amen”

“Stop” is clear directional sign, isn’t it? Even as children, we didn’t want to be told to “stop.” 

Has that changed as you’ve gotten older?  What if stopping isn’t what we want… for a relationship… a career… our physical capabilities… our mental abilities… our spending habits… our volunteering passions, or even our very life?

Stops can be frustrating and devastating experiences. Stops can also be experienced as a break, a chance to reassess our life direction, an opportunity to make a positive change in our trajectory. A reset. 

  • What have you learned about yourself and possibly, God’s will for your life, when you have come upon a stop sign?  
  • What has happened to you and for you when you have embraced a “stop” in your life? 
  • What can we do when our wants and God’s call to “stop” don’t align? 

This sign above gave me the biggest laugh of the trip. The crazy thing is that this wasn’t the only one like this on the highway. There were many of these on this stretch of road. I don’t know about you but, when I pray for clarity of direction, I don’t always get a quick or obvious answer.  God knows that I need and that I appreciate information about where I am to go.  So why then do get a blank directional sign just like the one above? 

Like this road sign, there are many things in our world that aren’t helpful for making good life directional decisions. We can’t necessarily rely on what we read, see, or hear around us. Thank goodness Bruce and I were using a good GPS app on during this part of our drive. We didn’t have to be frustrated by the empty signs. Likewise, we all could benefit to have God as our “life GPS”, to guide us safely and efficiently where He wants us to go.

If you look closer at this photo above, you’ll see the smaller indicator signs that there are lane shifts ahead. I think that I often miss the small, quiet messages God sends about my direction, looking only at the big picture of what is going on around me. 

Our daughter Kate challenged me this summer to “be more present.”  Sure enough, sometimes I don’t see the upcoming ‘lane shift’ signs until they are right in front of me… even sometimes on a bright orange sign that matches the construction safety barrels of life!

While I have found that “lane shifts” tend to be last minute pop-up type signs, I’ve noticed that curve signs in the road of life are normal and should be expected. I have learned that there are always changes going on around me and are therefore, things that I need to change in my life. Life never seems to run in a straight path.  

My life hasn’t gone according to my plans. How about yours? Even on a daily basis, I usually don’t get things done on my “to-do list” in the order that I write them. Like the curves for a literal road add beauty and character to traveling through the scenery, so can changes on the curves of our lives add to the richness of the experience. 

Curves require that we slow down and focus on the directional turns in our lives. Slowing down gives us time to anticipate and appreciate the reality of “now”. Even if we are being nudged over in a new direction, the slowing down ensures we are safe and can see the beauty of a different place or pace. Curves prompt a feeling of curiosity for a different view from around a bend.  If life’s road was predictably straight that wouldn’t be the same experience. There wouldn’t be the same joy.

I’ve learned from my Kolbe consulting work over the past ten years that each of us deals with change and the unexpected curves in life differently.  Some of us thrive on change and the opportunities for creativity and new experiences. For others, the curveballs of life’s changes can provoke a sense of danger which can be anxiety-producing. There are time were all us long for the stability of a steady and straight road ahead. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3uKCsRGV-M&pp=ygUVTG9uZyBzbmQgd2luZGluZyByb2Fk

  • How has “an unexpected” curve brought you joy, a challenge to overcome, a liberating new perspective, or a blessing? 
  • Likewise, how has a curve brought you fear and anxiety? How have you navigated this hard curve?
  • How has a curve helped you grow into who you are right now? 

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

We humans aren’t always naturally patient, are we? We want to get ahead, be first, be rewarded, be on time, not be late, not be held back. Whatever!!!!   

  • When have you learn about yourself and others when you were held back from “passing”? 

Section II: Warning Signs

These warning signs remind me of some key lessons I have learned on life’s roadway.  

Take the sign above that helps to identify poison ivy on the edge of a hiking trail. I have learn that it is very important to be able to identify those things, people, situations, habits, and even certain medications, food, and beverages, that can cause us discomfort and pain. 

I am learning that this includes some personal boundaries that I established so that I can reduce “poisonous” thoughts, words, interactions, reactions, or indulgences. Being more present is causing me to pay more attention to when signs of warning show up.

That is a kind and thoughtful sign message with the warm brown mixed in with the caution…

Roadway warning signs often contain the colors yellow, orange, or red… depending on the degree of severity of the potential danger. 

This one is more direct …and definitely not as urgent as the next sign. Notice the use of a lot of white and some red on this one compared to …..

 Yes, this one is most imperative, made of mostly red and a little white and posted in duplicate!!!! 

I have gotten this “Wrong Way” sign before. Have you? Sometimes I appreciated it and sometimes I did not. Therefore, sometimes I have paid attention to the sign and other times I didn’t. 

I don’t know about you, but in hindsight it would have been easier to have honored the sign before I… entered a difficult, unhealthy, stressful, financially damaging, fill in the blank… relationship, job, situation… 

  • When have you received this sign and chosen to obey it?  When have you realized that you failed to honor the sign?

How I wish that it was easier to identify the detour signs in life.   Detours are necessary when the road to where we want/need to go gets blocked or comes to a creeping crawl. Gosh it would be nice to embrace the detours instead of being frustrated by the command to “yield” or to obey the “diversion”.  

If only I could quickly acknowledge to myself that I will ultimately be allowed to get where I “need to be”, I would be much less anxious about my life’s detours. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “What was that (name the detour) all about?”  “Why have I had to go through this?”

“And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.  And we know that God works all things together for  the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8: 27-28

Not all detours are negative experiences. Some of life’s most surprising and pleasant experiences have come when I’m diverted/rerouted in a direction that I didn’t intend to go.

  • What surprises (people, job skills, knowledge, network contacts, places to live, travel to experience…) have you experienced from your detours in life? 

 Here’s a warning sign of another temporary delay.  When I see one of these I can anticipate needing to slow down, take a deep breath, and be prepared to wait. It can be a remind to myself that “next time” I need to allow a little more time to get where I am going. I usually don’t leave much margin for delays in my life, so building in extra time reduces my stress and gives me more time to be present. 

If you haven’t read the prior On Parallel Paths edition, Epilogue: Overstuffed, you may want to read that next. It is all about what the lack of margin can do in your life.  

 Speaking of lack of margin, I can relate to this one…being too overloaded with burdens and commitments that when I hit a curve in life, I run the risk of losing my footing on the road. Since I have moved through my entire life tending to over-commit myself and my calendar, moving at a fast pace, I have eventually learned to recognize the “signs” of being close to my tipping point. 

My signs are things like restless sleep, quick to aggravation, fault finding, and overreacting. 

  • What are your personal signs of being “top heavy”, with the load you are carrying and the pace you are doing life?

There are some unusual signs that you can see on life’s roadway:

  • What are some of the signs that you’ve “seen” that are indicators that you need to be alert because there may be something unexpected coming your way that could be dangerous if you encounter it?  
  • Are there some signs that make you smile? 

Don’t you wish you could have experienced the warning of this sign… before the hard stuff hits you?

I must say that when I saw this sign below, I felt uncomfortable. We don’t have this one in Florida and you might not either. 

  • Do you like the thought of someone watching your comings and goings?  
  • Do you feel like you behave the same regardless if someone is watch you or not?  
  • Do you slow down the minute you see a police officer or sheriff on the roadway?… because (like me) you are likely going a feeewwww miles over the speed limit. 

The reality is that we are always under God’s “video surveillance.”  He knows the number of hairs on our heads, He know what we think, what we do, and what we say. Yikes!!!   

  • How does reminding myself of this impact how I will live today?
  • What needs to change to allow me to cruise down the highway of life, with joy and hope and without fear, guilt, and/or regrets? 

One thing in life is certain… that we weren’t created to live solitary lives. That’s what I got out of these three signs.  That whether we like it or not, we need others. And we need to figure out how to live with each other. This has been a challenge for humankind since the beginning of time.

I have been blessed by so many merges with people around the world that have made the journey down my road of life such a joy. And of course, I have merged into others or others have merged into me and the interaction wasn’t as pleasant.  

Fortunately, most of those difficult interactions have been few and brief.  I pray, “Lord, help me look for the beauty (holy moments) in the interpersonal mergers that will come my way today.  And “Lord, help me keep an eye out for oncoming traffic that could cause a crash. Amen”

Life does consist of some “crashes.” I don’t have to look back too far to see them in my life. After a crash, I have found it important to step back and reflect on what led to it. Have my own investigation. 

It may be my analysis training in credit risk management over the years in the financial industry that has led me to believe this. Or maybe I do this because I want to “know the why” behind something. 

Because crashes can be painful, literally, physically, interpersonally, and usually spiritually. If I can help it, I sure don’t want to have to repeat the same crash a second time.  But I’ll admit that when I haven’t learned everything that I needed to learn from a hard lesson the first time, I seem to be allowed additional “opportunities to master a topic”. Not an “exit” that I ever immediately find joy in having to visit. But we are encouraged to see the “crashes” as growing opportunities.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, 1 when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

James 1: 2-4

https://youtu.be/9KIhYZQ_ovw?si=Fe_8Pb9PY_AYG4ic   

Not all stops are damaging or frustrating. Stops can be peaceful and provide us with much needed relief. No pun intended, but I hope you smiled!

It’s important that the pace of our lives, not just on the flat-land-maintaince-mode level, but that we each get an opportunity to “coast.”  Oh, how sweet that feeling is when everything feels easy and light.  

Praising God and everything around me is so easy when I am in a coasting stretch. Traveling in the RV reminds me of other coasting times in my life… often marked by some of these signs of fun and diversions.  

Life can’t be constant work and obligations.  God created us to need time to unwind, relax, and be nourished. Daily we need; sufficient rest, exercise/movement, and healthy food, water, and beverages. There are times and certain places where we are allowed to pause and “unload”. Times to get our “maintaince light” checked out and a tune-up conducted. 

We all need a weekly sabbath day, work holidays, and maybe even trips, so that we can get loaded back up with energy and a positive perspective to keep going on our journey.

Time apart from the daily routines and the same scenery, can enhance our creativity and reawaken our senses: time to connect with the God of creation, to connect with others through the benefits of prayer and worship, to spend time playing games, to share your heart with a good friend or counselor, or to take a nap. 

Make use of healthy ways to lighten your life’s heavy load.  

  • Which of these have you made use of in the past?  
  • Which of these might you consider utilizing now to better deal with what life has you carrying? 

There are wonderful benefits to our mind, body, and spirit when we take the time to enjoy the opportunities to coast during our life. Whether they be out in nature on various types of equipment and vehicles, connecting with creation, or if it is expanding our minds with places and things of historical significance, or appreciating the artistic creations of other humans. There are many wonderful ways to experience some rest.

Maybe it is the physical pleasure that the mixture of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin from physical activity, or the visual pleasure that we enjoy taking in the overwhelming variety of scenic road and waterways that cross our country’s landscape, or the spiritual urging that arise when we appreciate how God is showing-off in the moment.  It all can be wonderous if we take the moment to acknowledge it.

Which are your favorite signs of diversions that you like to follow?

Yes, there are many intersections with God, and those people and opportunities that He has deemed important to put on our path. When I see an intersection ahead sign, I know I will likely need to slow down, yield, or maybe even come to a stop. I’ll need to make a choice.

And sometimes if I let my life’s pace move too fast… for the load I am carrying or if I begin to feel too confident in my own abilities and agenda, God will often give me a nudge with “a sign” to slow down, shift into a lower gear, or look for an emergency exit… 

When the steep grade of doing life leaves you breathless and you feel like things are getting out of control:

  • What are the signs in your life that you need to slow down, shift to a lower gear, look for an ‘exit ramp’ to guide you to a safe stop? 

Yep, this was a good reminder that God’s been there to slow me down and give me a more graceful “exit” to His way and priorities. His way of thinking and doing promises better outcomes, rather than allowing me to crash based upon my own self direction and pace.   

  • Where in your life have you seen God put out His protective hand and guide you off the road to pause or send you off in another safe direction?

 As long as we’re living and breathing there is more to the journey for us to experience. Until it is our last moments on earth, we are given the nudge to keep going. 

There are so many opportunities, to learn, serve, appreciate, support, improve, and live. So, continuing to keep the mind, body, and spirit active is critically important. So, “Move it or lose it” the saying goes. With the amount of caregiving, I have taken on the past four years, and since have entered the last 1/3 or less of my life, this “keep moving” truth is one that I resonates deeply with me. If I “don’t do” now, I “won’t be able to do” later.

So, back to the signs of the holiday season that we are wrapping and my reason for having hope in the guidance and salvation of a living God:  Over seven hundred years before Christ’s birthday, his coming to earth to show us how to live and give us eternal life was prophesied and recorded, n the books of Micaiah and Isaiah in the Torah. Here are just a few of the verses that reference Christ’s birth:

“But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,

are only a small village among all the people of Judah.

Yet a ruler of Israel,

whose origins are in the distant past,

will come from you on my behalf.”

Micah 5: 2

“Then Isaiah said, ‘Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of humans? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”

Isaiah 7: 13-14

https://youtu.be/FWo3qlqyW1c?si=KlZUsaFjr43uByUX

“The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned…. For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
    there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
    and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
    with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
    will accomplish this.”

Isaiah 9: 2, 6-7

“A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
    from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—
    the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
    the Spirit of counsel and of might,
    the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord—
and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
    or decide by what he hears with his ears;
but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
    with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will  the earth with the rod of his mouth;
    with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked. Righteousness will be his belt
    and faithfulness the sash around his waist. The wolf will live with the lamb,
    the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling[a]together;
    and a little child will lead them.”

Isaiah 11: 1-6

Then in the New Testament of the Holy Bible we read: 

“Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, ‘Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.’”

Matthew 2: 1-2

  https://youtu.be/Vs9FPx3_Slk?si=0Saat4nQyWpLZYuR      Do you hear what I hear

Take some time during the remainder of this holiday season, as we start 2024, to step back and be more present:

  • What are you seeing, hearing, sensing? 
  • What do you think the “signs” are saying to you? 
  • Take special note of the blessings that God has given you. How can you celebrate them?
  • How can you make the most of the curves, detour, merges, yields, stops, and even crashes, that you are currently dealing with?

This holiday season, it become clear that I need to pay more attention to the signs around me… that God has placed there for my best interest.  I know that I need to be ready the enter this new year with an openness to yield, shift lanes, beware of bumps, and follow His occasional instructions to not turn around, to reduce my speed, and even stop.  I know I’ll need to follow signs that I don’t want to follow and that I’ll also have opportunities to enjoy coasting, merging, detouring, and resting.  I know that I need to be committed to being obedient to God’s directions because His Word says that’s what’s best for me. 

I pray you will continue to join me in 2024 as we look for the life road “signs” that God has for us. And that by doing so, we will know in our hearts that God is loving, good, safe, but sometimes challenging in our life’s journey. It’s all for the best. 

Wishes for good health and peace to you in 2024!  I look forward to traveling with you again soon, Onparallelpaths. 

P.S. This was my 2023 Christmas song dedication to our son Will, with whom we would give anything to have another Christmas.

https://youtu.be/XN4nzZbUnQc?si=RadX3x4I_pge1mqE

Epilogue: Overstuffed

Published on by onparallelpaths11 Comments

God stirred me YET AGAIN today to finish writing this entry. I started writing about my overstuffed-life back in August of 2021. Yes…I did a double take when, in February of this year, I checked the date on the original Word file saved on my computer. I began this writing even before I started the On-Parallel Paths website. It feels like God’s timing validates all that you will read below.  Since Bruce and I have completed our two-month visit to the Dominican Republic (DR) four months ago now!!!! and I started revising the 2021 entry while I was there in the DR five months ago. It seems prophetic to our present lives so along with the original text that I wrote in regular font, I’ve added underlined sections in italics to provide you with an updated version. Bless you!!! for continuing with me on this on-parallel paths journey by reading this quadruple edition.

What does over-stuffed mean and what does it look like? Well, you’ll get several clear examples if you take a glance at my purse, calendar, drawers, closets, cell phone wallet, desk, and even recipe file box. Yes, I still have that precious strawberry print recipe box that my Tri-Delta sorority sister Martha “Teal” gave me at a bridal shower that she and her mom graciously hosted for me over 40 years ago).

Just an example of the past 30 years.
And this month happens to contain the
only-ever date error I have made for a
training session in over 30 years.
Over-stuffed?
Praise God for a flexible and understanding client.

When I pause to think about it, literally everything in my life has felt overstuffed for decades. Jammed so totally full that whatever the “item” is… it has limited room for anything else… and therefore, often things “fall out.”

That’s why I buy Dollar Tree sunglasses, because they tend fall out of my small handbags and break. I can’t get too upset when the lens pops out or the earpiece loses its pin. If that happens, I’ll balance them on my nose while driving to the store to buy another pair for a dollar ($ 1.25 now.) Why, you may ask, don’t I buy and use bigger purses? Well, I have tried a bigger purse, but it quickly became over-stuffed and I can’t find anything I was looking for in it! 

I think I try to blame (eye roll) this tendency on my Scottish/Germany heritage, “waste not want not.”

Yes, for all my adult life my calendar has been so full that I often just barely make it to scheduled events and appointments on time. I hate being late and I equally don’t like arriving too early and wasting time waiting around. So, I take-on that “just one more” chore before I leave the home or run “just one more” errand on my way across town. Yes, I am guilty. I over-commit with activities and people that I really love. 

“Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.”

2 Corinthians 9:6 NLT

You might describe such a “full” life, with words like “rich”, “abundant”, “exciting”, “blessed”, or “stimulating.” You could also describe it using adjectives such as “frantic”, “disjointed”, “over-extended”, “exhausting”, “frustrating”, “striving”, and “anxiety producing.”  

I love spending time with my many friends and family. I love traveling around the world for work, meeting fascinating people, and going to fascinating places with my overstuffed suitcase. I love trying new recipes by having friends over for a meal. I love to go to the grocery store, particularly an international one, to browse through the shelves for new things to try to replicate flavors I have enjoyed. I love having new pottery and serving dishes to put all the yummy things in them that I make. There is something about “functional art” that I just love – especially when I know the artist.  So, I have tried to make the most of all that I love.

I love that my grandmother, Florine Harper Gilliland, painted on China and canvas and needle pointed dozens of beautiful pillows and even the Backgammon game board that sits in our family room. I love the creativity of my Iowa contemplative friend Susan D-M, who is a calligrapher and poet, or our Wisconsin artist friend, Mick M, who throws gorgeous pottery and blessed us with three mugs to enjoy a beverage with our son Will during his cancer journey and then the “Good-Will” bowl he gave us 18 months later in Will’s memory.

I love that my elementary school friend, Lori L, embroiders linens and makes lovely paper notecards, or my Northern Ireland friend, Jill Mc, paints/draws prophetic pictures/messages. I love my Florida photographer friend, Jill C who blessed me with photos and words of prayer most days of Will’s cancer journey, and my Greek/UK banker and painter (clouds) friend, Jim G, who now lives in Seminole, FL, and I can’t forget my long-time family friend from Greenville, Lynn G, who is also a painter (Retired beach ladies). I love that my friends Tracy and Dan G are accomplished professional musicians, composers and conductors and that Tracy also is a published Western Romance writer… oh so many creative friends. The list could go on. So, you guessed it, I now have my guest bathroom, numerous walls, the China buffet, shelves, and cabinets overflowing with lovely and meaningful things.  Would I give up any of it that I love?  Not unless I absolutely have to… and it appears that this next stage of life is encouraging me to do some prioritizing so that I don’t have to.

When a dear friend, Victor H., from all the way back to high school days, wrote and asked me just this week… “What are three things you are thinking about?“… I stopped to consider his question and realized that I didn’t know what I was thinking. 

I hadn’t slowed down in quite a while. I couldn’t remember when the last time was that I stopped to intentionally “think”, vs. just react/survive what was going on in my life. Victor’s question was a wakeup call, or rather an awakening. I am pretty sure that an abundance of grief is why this is the case. But, I’ve recommitted to “setting aside” time to be quiet, “think”, pray, and, journal… to process all the “fullness” of my life. 

https://youtu.be/ZrpTTtvrRfI     

I don’t mean it to sound like I am totally oblivious to my life and what is going on. I have really worked hard to live an active and intentional life. And I have done a lot of thinking along with “doing” over the past two years. I praise God that our son Will along with both my Dad and Mom are now each healed and living in eternity and by God’s  grace and with the support of so many dear friends and family members, I am still functioning.  I know that without the Lord, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed for even one day out of the past approximately 305 days. (You can add another 710+ days to this number, to record the faithfulness of God to keep me going.)

Yeah, my life has been overstuffed for six decades… from a childhood filled with the dynamics of being in a busy family of six…when I studied hard to make up for the natural academic abilities I wasn’t blessed with. I took ballet and either piano/guitar/clarinet music lessons, participated in church activities, kept active on the school swim team and student government, worked part-time jobs, and held leadership roles in organizations. I attended full-time graduate school and held down a part-time job as a newly married woman. I’ve been able to build a successful 40+-year financial banking/consulting career, operating as a part-time children’s chauffeur service, volunteering for numerous church and community initiatives, all while striving to maintain a “healthy functioning” pastor’s family… until now. I feel I just don’t want to spin that over-stuffed plate anymore.

(Particularly, now that I have lost Will, my Dad and my Mom, I have taken some time to ponder “What now?.)  “Who am I now?”  “Is what I do, who I am, Lord?”, “How does my life demonstrate who I am?”  My life has been so overstuffed that my brain has too many questions to ask, and I have lost whatever view I had to the core/heart/bottom-line of who I am…

https://youtu.be/sIaT8Jl2zpI

So, while on my DR “sabbatical” I set side all my communications and responsibilities and spent time with the One who created me.  I asked God these questions. I heard his words paraphrased from scripture that I was reading… “You are My child, and you are loved. To be able to fully embrace MY LOVE,  you need to de-stuff your life and make more room for Me… dwell with Me as you liked to dwell with Will during his cancer journey.”  “Love on Me, since you miss loving on Will. Search for Me with all your heart…and you will find Me…and in finding Me you will find our life.”

The Lord says in the scripture: 

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”Mathew 6:25

So, “I apologize Lord, for overstuffing my life. I need your help to start to unstuff… declutter… purge… simplify… reorganize… my life… so that I can find the life you desire for me.” Never would I have thought when I wrote that and prayed that in 2021, that God would take me all the way to the DR for two months, to work in the camp kitchen with a group of amazing servants and spend time walking by myself up and down dusty hills, so that I could hear Him… but in the past He has had to audibly speak to me to get my attention. If I haven’t already shared with you, remind me to tell you my Big Lots parking lot story. Yes, I guess I am slow to listen and take action sometimes. .

The best way that I have been able to relate to the process and benefits of decluttering, purging, and reorganizing has been the work I’ve done in the past six months (23 months, now) since my dad passed. With my sisters and our spouses, we have sorted out my parents 4,000 sq/ft. home, packed with 63 years of their memories and numerous items that belonged to my grandparents and “great somebody.”  God has used this task to raise my awareness about the state of my own home. Bruce and I have moved lots of times in our 39 years of married life (Now we will celebrate 41 years this week back here in the DR) but even so, we have collected a lot of things… some of them are Will’s that we never imagined coming back to us in our lifetime and some are from my parents’ home. So, the sorting and decision making isn’t new to me. However, this season of sorting and purging of Will’s things, my parents’ things, and those from each of their parents has been a much more extensive and emotionally difficult experience.

Every day for weeks at a time, my sisters and I went through Gilliland/Morgan family “treasures”. This required a dozen texts or phone calls a day to family members with direct questions of interest and hundreds of small decisions and considerations. It was physically and mentally exhausting to declutter and reorganize their things. 

What to keep?   

What to throw away? 

What to give away?  

What to sell?… Would anyone actually buy this… “stuff”?  

After our estate unstuffing process, you should have seen the results of the sorting and cleaning that we did! The folk’s home was brighter and the open rooms welcoming. The clean simplicity of no clutter allowed for a vision of the home’s potential by a new owner. It was a blank slate ready for someone to put their mark on it. The best part for me is the joy of seeing our son’s and my folk’s “treasures” repurposed into my sister’s, daughter’s, niece’s, friend’s and in my home. There has been a healing comfort to see their lives “live on” in their special possessions.

But how many special possessions can one home hold? 

How much importance have I put on those “things” and activities in my life that are just cluttering up my space and my time? 

Which of these “things” are really life giving?  

During the months of February and March in the DR I found that our two room + tiny bath space was more than sufficient to feel contented. The basic roof over our head, the queen-sized bed (which is large compared to the typical DR double-size one that most families here have) with warm blankets for sleep, an inside flush toilet, hot water,  plastic table, chairs, and two sets of dinnerware for meals, and basic fresh foods…were more than sufficient. There is no doubt that I like nice things and there isn’t a thing wrong with that. But “the simpler the better” is beginning to hold more and more attraction for me. 

https://youtu.be/A0IrWDtaoSA

So, likewise, I am anticipating that the unstuffing process for my life will be time consuming and challenging but a blessing. I want to focus on a functional new-life-layout that is simplified… leaving lots of room for focusing on the things of eternal value… that God has me to focus on. (Remember I wrote that in August of 2021 long before the two month trip to the DR was even thought of.

During the 47+ months since I started pondering my overstuffed life, I had done very little about it. Sure, due to COVID and the graciousness of the consulting company I work for I was allowed to reduce my workload during my times of care-giving and immediate grief, plus the fact that at the time banks weren’t spending much money on training their workers, But, otherwise I hadn’t made any changes and Bruce was actually busier than he had ever been with picking up a part-time pastor responsibility along with his full-time missions role with Young Life, International. 

(Bruce and I were beginning to see these thoughts/prayers/ramblings coming to be realities that we needed to make some decisions about.

The momentum changed only three days after we arrived in the DR in February.  Our Sarasota HOA (Home owner’s Association) board sent out an email stating that they were going to discuss us (no, they wouldn’t wait for us to return in two months to do that) for two reasons; first that our RV periodically visited our driveway (always for less time than the community rules allowed) so that we could  clean and prep it to be rented out or for our personal travel (a recent meeting clarified that they objected to the fact that we rented the RV, not that it was in the driveway,) and secondly that we had friends stay in our home to cat sit our grand-cat, Lulu, water the plants and keep an eye out on things when we were in the DR…(they actually objected that I “informed” them about the friends that were coming and didn’t “ask for their approval.”) 

I think it curious that I sent the letter a week before we left for the DR and nobody replied to us about needing to rephrase the letter as a request before we left. (After the fact when rereading our by-laws, we found that we were required to notify them not ask for permission.) So what was that HOA stuff all about?

Apparently God got tired of waiting for us to make changes, so He did it for us, Back in 2021 the last line I wrote in the entry was..

“De-stuffing will provide me with space and time for focusing on Him, His love, His healing power, His hope, His direction for my life… That’s the kind of life I want!”

https://youtu.be/Q9ZkmMH7Ipk 

To this point I hadn’t done anything different about making that kind of life happen. So, in March and April of this year, Bruce and I talked and prayed about things for weeks and decided that we didn’t want to remain living in that community with “friends” who would treat others this way. We decided it would be simpler and more peaceful for us to live our lives in a home that wasn’t under the scrutiny of controlling neighbors and that was closer to our daughter and her family. We figured that it would be a huge time saver to be with them when we aren’t out of town or out of the country, either visiting extended family and completing ministry related travel. We want to build more memories with Kate’s family while we are able. 

It has been very hard to not hold a grudge against our HOA. We loved living in Sarasota and being near dear friends and Bruce’s dad and his wife.

But as the scriptures says:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” 

Genesis 5:20

So, between work assignments and medical appointments, we began in earnest to do decluttering (or “editing” as our Real Estate agent called it) to get our home ready to be listed for sale.  Some of the hardest de-cluttering was just a few weeks ago when I was cleaning out our attic and I came across a tub of Will’s photos and school work from his first through third grade years that hadn’t made it into a scrapbook yet, along with a couple pair of  Will’s work shoes and belts, six monogramed doctor’s white coats, and two boxes of formal China that Bruce’s mom wanted Will to have when he married.)

Beyond the physical decluttering, I added to my spiritual decluttering a list prayers for to God to give me a large “power blast of forgiveness” toward my literal neighbors and the administrators at Will’s residency hospital program, who failed him by not ensuring their young doctors obtained the medical care and support that they needed. I know I need to love them all and leave behind this heavy season of grief and pain for something better.

https://youtu.be/PsAcN8p8EV4  

We listed and sold our Sarasota home before the end of June ( I won’t go into the details of the piles we had to set aside for the DR, and ones for the PODS long-term storage and what we would need to go into RV for the next 6-9 months)…Which means we are now nomads, so to speak… living in our RV in the Green Cove Springs, FL area, visiting our missions home base in the DR (30 minutes from Young Life’s Camp and an hour the other direction to Santiago’s airport in the mountain village called Buena Vista), and planning some fall RV traveling around the US to attend meetings and see longtime friends and family.

We would treasure your prayers and encouragement for patience, wisdom, and joy during the next months while we continue to work in our respective vocations and begin the process to build a maintenance-free home that will be our US home base… on a lot two doors down from our daughter Kate and her family!! Here is our recently cleared lot and mailbox! God is good and faithful. We pray we can be, too.

I am sure that in this next part of the journey God will have many new learnings that He will prompt me share.

Thanks for waiting so long with me to share this message…Blessings until we journey again together. Keep well.)

https://youtu.be/4_2aX_i4qpM  

Epilogue: Sabbath

Published on by onparallelpaths13 Comments

*Apologies for the length of this entry. Since it’s been two months from my last posting, I had a lot to share. You get a two for one today… Bless you for continuing to journey with me on this path.

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy; You are to labor six days and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. You must not do any work—you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the foreigner who is within your gates. For LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea and everything, in them in six days, then He rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and declared it holy.” Exodus 20:8-11 NIV

A few weeks ago, in the aftermath of the holidays, in the midst of three weeks of bank training work, and in the process of packing essentials to live in the Dominican Republic for two months, I realized that I was worn out and that it had been a while since I had “kept a sabbath day.” Shamefully, I even hadn’t thought of “the sabbath” in a long time. Sure, I go to worship services regularly. And I’ll admit that I occasionally, on a Sunday afternoon, take a nap “to rest” or read a book with Lulu curled up with me.

Our grand kitty Lulu enjoying a nap on a Sunday
afternoon in early January

But I haven’t really experienced a sabbath in a few years.

My Sunday’s for the last three years have been filled with watching a live-feed worship service at home or on the TV with my mom, caregiving one of the three loved ones that have passed, grocery shopping, catching up on emails, managing estate finances, preparing to teach banking courses in person or virtually, putting laundry away (that Bruce has washed and folded)… all those need-to-do in life things have filled every day of the week, most weeks of the year.

The thing is, I know what “sabbath” means. Heavens, I even led an entire women’s weekend retreat on this very topic years ago. Some of y’all reading along might even remember that weekend. But somewhere along the way of “living life” I have let slip the practice of taking a sabbath.

https://youtu.be/2XWeNvn2EtU   

If you Google “sabbath” you will see entries like these:

“to rest”

The Jewish Sabbath (from Hebrew Shavat/Shabbat, “to rest”) is observed throughout the year on the seventh day of the week—Saturday. According to biblical tradition, it commemorates the original seventh day on which God rested after completing the creation.”

or

“The Sabbath day was intended to be a day of religious observance and abstinence from work, kept by Jewish people from Friday evening to Saturday evening, and by most Christians on Sunday.”

or

“In Abrahamic religions, the Sabbath or Shabbat (from Hebrew שַׁבָּת Šabbāṯ) is a day set aside for rest and worship. According to the Book of Exodus, …”

Well, there you have it. My confession and the conviction that I have been negligent in keeping one of “God’s ten best ways to live.” The first reference to the sabbath is found in its entirety in the Torah/Bible, in the book of Exodus chapter 20, verses 1-17. These verses describe the words that God gave Moses, up in the clouds on Mt. Sinai. Words commonly known as The Ten Commandments. In verses 8-11, is where the fourth commandment is found, to keep a holy day, to rest and worship our Creator. 

When I have been most faithful to keeping a sabbath, this is what a Shabbat looked like for me. I coordinated my weekly schedule to have a worshipful, quiet day. I made sure my “chores” were done by Saturday night. I wouldn’t plan for entertaining in our home on a Sunday so I would either prepare a meal ahead (crockpots are great for this) or plan to serve a simple one for us to enjoy that evening. I purposely wouldn’t look at emails all day (harder than you think). I would enjoy time with my family or a neighbor if we happened to run into each other while out enjoying the beauty of the day. I would nap, read, or take a walk or a bike ride. 

If you reread the scripture at the beginning of this journal, you’ll see that when God gave the “top ten” to Moses, they weren’t given as a suggestion. They weren’t a “why don’t you think about it and maybe give these a try” type of communication. God gave them as commandments. Have you wondered why He picked out ten specific things to command His people to live by?

In total the “Commandments”:

  1. Require that we not misuse God’s name, or place anything before God (don’t swear or make/worship other “gods”); 
  2. That we be content stewards of the relationships and material things that He has provided (don’t lie, kill, steal, commit adultery, or covet, and honor your parents). 

Holy scripture commentators propose that God has several reasons for giving us the ten best ways to live. The fourth commandment regarding the sabbath, (also discussed in Exodus Chapter 31 verses 12-17 and Chapter 35 verses 1-3) is a direct expression of God’s desire for us to obey Him and emulate Him.  He worked hard for six days and then rested to appreciate it. Scriptures tell us that He is a loving yet jealous God. He loves us so much that he wants to spend time with us. He wants to relate to us. He wants us to appreciate Him and the beauty of what He made in the world. He wants us to appreciate how he made us, too.

To do this we have to have time apart from the business and busy-ness of life. God has always known that we need the time away from the stresses of living to be able to focus on just Him.

https://youtu.be/Tlzm1qYa9TU 

Secondly, when we experience a time of “sabbath”, we are not only reminded to be faithful to God with this obedience, but we also get an opportunity to build our faith in him; to strengthen our trust relationship with Him.

A sabbath can eliminate our misconception that we can not only manage but master all that is around us. When we take a “sabbath” we can break some of the chains of this world compelling us to accomplish tasks and achieve results on our own.  God gave the Israelites (who were wondering about in the desert with no stability or safety net) specific instructions on how to keep a weekly sabbath. God wanted them to take a break from work and trust Him to provide for them on that day. God wants us to experience the joy of trusting in Him for the same provision… that we haven’t had to strive for.  

As many of you all know, I am a “doer” and “manager.” This sounds so much better than to admit I have been a “Type A”, “control freak”, most of my life, doesn’t it? So, “letting things just happen”, “waiting on the Lord”, “just be”… aren’t natural for me. God has been working on me since my late 20’s to help me release my need to plan and manage my life and put all my faith in Him. I have found that “trusting God” and the work of “letting go” can be painful. I tend to hold things very tightly, so when things/people are “ripped away”, I struggle with myself and with God.

My experiences with; career sexual discrimination, infertility, losing a baby in utero, giving up a lifestyle to support Bruce through seminary and in pastoral ministry, moving around a lot for different church calls, having my benefited job eliminated and moved to a consultant role, losing our young adult son Will to cancer, and losing both my parents in the last 18 months, have each brought me closer to God and taught me to open my hands and heart for the transformation He wants to do in me. “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away… blessed be the name of the Lord”.

It is hard having things you treasure taken away. It is hard to not experience life the way you thought it was going to be. But God made a covenant with those who believe in Him, and treasure a relationship with Him, that He will in turn provide us the desires of our hearts. Not immediately and not necessarily the way we want it, but He is faithful.

I’ve made some headway in letting God be God, because I am not. But I know I still have a long way to go. By spending an entire day once a week worshiping God, focusing on His love and many provisions for me, I can be refined and strengthened in my spiritual walk.

This next song is one that I was introduced to by my Mayo Clinic Mohs surgeon Dr. J.C. Martinez and his surgical nurse, Kaleena, literally, when I was having a skin cancer removed from my face almost five years ago…a few days after our daughter Kate was married. The music was a powerful backdrop to my sharing about Kate’s wedding, which birthed a beautiful sharing that my young doctor lost of his mother when he was in college, and Kaleena, (who now a special friend and I found out later that she) was privately undergoing tests for cancer herself at the time, and was missing her Mom who lived across the country. We were all crying by the time the song ended and at created a “special moment” as Dr. JC put it, that has blessed me ever since. I don’t know the backstory for this song from the musician Ray LaMontague’s point of view but I like to listen quietly to the words as if they were coming from God. Listen, read the words, and note the phrasing…

https://youtu.be/0TTpOGuvi3k 

Thirdly, when we rest from the things of the world to be with God, we build intimacy with Him, we build trust in Him, and we can be filled with wonder, restored in our interpersonal relationships, and rested physically. When we’re rested, we can better focus on the “work” He has us doing during the other six days of the week. To have a focus on beauty and the positive is so good for our mental health.

God wants us to know that setting time apart to delight in Him should be a priority every week and it is for our personal good. Our own mental and physical well-being is at stake when we don’t allow ourselves to be refreshed.

So refresh yourself by taking some deep breaths and spend the next minutes, listening to this worship music, soaking in the words of love, and meditate on resting next to God.

https://youtu.be/EMXUiMA0IIE  

So, why my personal focus on the sabbath right now? 

Mi esposo Bruce, beside the Young Live Map of the Dominican Republic.
Jarabocoa is in the lower middle of the yellow Zona Norte Central

This past September, during a work trip to Argentina, my husband Bruce was approached by Rafa, the Regional Leader for Young Life in the Dominican Republic (DR) and across the Caribbean, and he invited us to come to the DR for two months. Bruce’s role would be to help prepare Rafa’s new camp and ministry leaders for the upcoming short-term mission trips the ministry is scheduled to host this spring and summer. Since I was able to provide some training on budgeting and financial analysis for Young Life’s ministry in Nicaragua several years ago, we put out feelers with the ministry to see if I could support them with training during our stay. There didn’t seem to be the same need in the region, so I started wondering and praying for how God would have me use me time there.

The idea began to form for me not to necessarily go looking for something to do but to take time away, to rest, to heal from grief, and to reflect on God’s love and provision for me. I felt the time away could take the shape of an extended sabbath….a “sabbatical”. 

The word and concept of a sabbatical comes from the same Latin root word as sabbath. To rest and draw strength from God. A sabbatical sounded to me like a very good way to spend my time away. My excitement for the time the DR began to grow.

God, Your faithful love is so valuable that people take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They are filled from the abundance of Your house, You let them drink from Your refreshing stream, for with You is life’s fountain. In Your light we will see light.

Psalm 36 7-9

So that is what I am doing right now, in the first month of our time here. As I share with you, I have stepped away from most (mas y menos) of the day-to-day demands of my regular life and working world in the U.S. I have been walking in the beautiful nature here at the Young Life camp outside Jarabacoa, Dominican Republic called Pico Escondido. I have worshiped God with new Dominican friends and enjoyed a Sunday lunch with them at a local buffet café. I have napped, read, returned some work emails and built an excel spreadsheet for some upcoming work)…and am now writing.  

https://youtu.be/ZPZrxZgQjrg

The flowers and landscaping outside of the building where our camp apartment… it’s so beautiful
This is the beginning of my walks around the camp…whomever walks down… has to struggle back up the other side of the camp floor…see another photo.

Daily I have “work” to do here. I pick up trash on my walks around the camp (Rhonda D, you have taught me well), I walk outside our two-room apartment to the ramada sitting at the far end of our building, to get 3 liters at a time of potable water for cooking, drinking, and brushing our teeth. To get food provisions we walk down a big hill on a rocky road. It’s about a half-mile down to the super mercado … then as Bruce says,“we walk the 2 ½ miles back up.” 

The 2 1/2 mile hill that leads back up to camp!
The view outside our apartment on the beginning of my walks…you can see across the camp floor the winding trail that goes up behind the camper cabins across the valley. Simply breath taking. …literally 🙂
125 Middle schoolers and their adult leaders, participating in Young Life’s-WildLife clubs across the country, gathered last weekend for “New Kids Camp” We know two of the adults leaders pictured here, from when Bruce pastored a church in Jacksonville! What a treat to catch-up with our former youth director Katie and husband William… it is a small world!
A dream come true,.. I get to be a kitchen lady, hair net and all.
Here I am enjoying the company of Genesis, Kathy, and Doris
while we chop veggies for the weekend camper’s meals.
The big bowl of thinly sliced onions are for the DR
“comida tipica”, called Mangu.
Reunion time with William, Katie
last Friday evening at camp.
Annie, the kitchen manager’s son Elias is three years old and he helped me make lime juice today… from 6 dozen of limes.

I also volunteer in the camp kitchen, where I am learning some new Spanish words and enjoy listening to the sisterly banter of the women who help prepare meals for kids and their adult counselors who attend weekend camps.

My pride and joy…peeled Garlic… Mucho Ajo!!
The fresh food pantry is separate from the non-perishables stored in the next room. Looks almost as organized as our daughter Kate’s pantry… she would be proud of me.

Regarding my unofficial kitchen duties, I have “graduated” from initially unloading bags of fresh produce and clean laundry and organizing them on metal storage shelves….to peeling hundreds of heads of garlic over two days… not cloves but heads, to chopping veggies to make pico de gallo salsa and slicing the super thin dozens of onions for topping a native dish called Mangu (cooked and mashed green bananas with butter and cream.) I think that they gave me the onion chopping job to see if I would really hanging in there.  I start with four onions and that quickly became a couple dozen. They don’t know I wear contacts so the onions don’t bother me. I think I inadvertently earned their respect, which backfired today when I wore my glasses instead of contacts… it was painful chopping there for a while. Above is a photo of my garlic assignment. Mucho ajo!  Un monton de trabajo!

If you know anyone from the DR, you know that they speak quickly and I may catch 2 out of 10 words they are saying…or should I say shouting. Okay, they speak with a lot of passion! Kitchens are noisy places anyway and with the din of four to five ladies “conversing” it makes an amazing humming sound in my ears, I focus on cutting, listening in, and praying. The life of work and prayer in the kitchen has taken on a real monastic feel for me. 

La cocina con percolador y refirgerador, y estufa …
La salla de estar y comedor y officina y biblioteca y yoga studio…

In our apartment I clean regularly. With the facts that; we can’t flush toilet paper here (you put it in the trash can in the bathroom 😦 ), we have dusty/rocky roads at camp, and our windows stay open (no AC)… there is always some wiping down, sweeping and mopping to do.  I prepare our meals with a four-burner gas stop top that we use matches to light. We have no microwave or icemaker, and it takes about 5 minutes to make a cup of coffee in the mini percolator… instead of the 30 seconds it takes with the Keurig at home.

These inconveniences mean I can take a few moments of sabbath time to just gaze out the window and appreciate what God has created. Until today, we had one cutting/prep knife, one cooking spoon (no spatula to turn our food) one pan (everything sticks to it so you need a stainless scouring pad to get it clean) and one medium size ancient pot (no lid). So, we splurged at the super mercado and bought a non-stick frying pan and a small pot with a lid. Despite all this I appreciate God’s provision for good food and the comfortable place that has begun to feel like home.

Is it sounding like a sabbath experience to you? You bet it is! I’ve found the shift in focus has actually been a restful time for me. Having to focus on life’s basics and getting to prepare fresh, locally grown foods is energizing. In the evenings there currently aren’t meeting to get off to or projects to make progress on. We have no compelling reasons to check email, yet another time. Just time cooking, talking and relaxing. 

Gallo Pinto con vegetales ala Cindy… made in the ancient pot turned out, muy delicioso!

Another thing the sabbatical is teaching me is what “First-World Problems” mean, and how I have let so many petty things get on my nerves and rob me of my peace. Here, outside of Jarabacoa, we lose either power, water, or the internet connection every day. Sometimes multiple times a day, for two out of these three “necessities”.  Here most people have a few sets of clothing and can only afford rice, beans and whatever is growing in their yard. When they have a chicken, they eat every single part of it…including the feet (minus the toe tips… I watched them chop them off today!). The feet are a particular favorite. I spared you a picture of the outer chest of a momma pig that was cooking in a pot this afternoon. They boil that part of the poor pig and then oven roasted it crisp… “Chicharron” it is called… oh my. Perspective is everything.

Bethsaida and Kathy work on cutting up 80, yes/si 80
chickens/pollo for the weekend visitors coming to camp…
note the feet, that explains why I have only bought chicken
breasts at the super mercado down the hill! …And I am a
dark meat girl!

On the other end of the spectrum… I fortunately asked for a Kindle for Christmas (compared to my iPad they have a super long battery life and light up on their own!), and I brought along with us some gluten-free crackers and a few travel candles. There are benefits of being a “list person” after all… see my December journal entry… So, we’ve periodically enjoyed candle-lit appetizers and an evening meal followed by time with a good book… while saying a word of thanks for the gas stove top that lights with a match so we could have a hot meal!

I am treasuring the rest and peace here with the different pace of life. There is so much of God to observe and experience here. My prayer is that regardless of where I am that I can learn to carry a spirit of sabbath with me every day, and that I will have the discipline to continue to have days of quiet and space from technology and other people. It’s a little hard in a two-room apartment to have the feeling of a sabbatical all the time :), but Bruce has been great about working at the Young Life Camp office just up the hill and giving me space to be quiet and just be.

It’s our second week here and I am learning that it takes time to decompress from our “First-World” pace and step away from life’s distractions to embrace God. I am more and more aware that if I don’t allow myself to rest and listen to God, I won’t hear from Him the direction I should go. He can’t direct and equip me for what’s next on my life’s path.

https://youtu.be/sQqLWqYSCTE

Long ago I heard the expression, “you have to fill up your own ‘pitcher’ in order to have something to ‘pour out’ into other people’s lives.” So, let’s circle back to the question from earlier: Have you wondered why He picked out ten specific things to command His people to live by? … particularly to take time off to rest and relate to Him?

I don’t think it is because He wants to control us by limiting what we should do. God isn’t a killjoy. No, I think it is all about Him loving us so much that he wants us to cultivate a peaceful mind and a physical wellbeing by being obedient. Submitting to Him because He, like any good parent, knows what’s best for our best lives. I know I want what’s best for me, so I am learning anew that I need to be obedient to God by resting in Him.

“We(I) continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way.”

Colossians 1: 9-10

By the way… I just learned from Roy, another gringo who was the camp manager here for 20 years (he is now responsible for building a camp for Young Life in Haiti), that the name of the camp, Pico Escondido, means “hidden peak”.  Roy explained that it was named for the mountain that reins above the camp, that is sometimes hidden behind clouds. As I write to you here is what it looks like.

Pico Escondido lived up to it’s name, it was truly a hidden peak in
the clouds today.

Interesting…a peak hidden by clouds… just like when Moses got the Ten Commandments from God on the top of Mt. Sinai.

Yeah, this time here in Republica Dominicana, is going to be a great sabbath. Todo esta bien!

https://youtu.be/8iDuZv_5MQk

View of Jarabacoa from the top of Monte Verde… loving the view from the mountain top
View from the valley restaurant La Baita on Valentine’s Day evening…who knew you could find great authentic Italian food in the “las Montanas de Jarabacoa!”