Our neighborhood here in the Dominican Republic is getting festive and loud. Many of the homes that sit quietly for most days of most weeks are now surrounded by multiple cars. There are sounds of children laughing and parents telling stories as families gather with their favorite music blasting from portable speakers. There is the smell of delicious food wafting on the almost constant breezes. It’s become busy here in Pinares de Buena Vista on this Friday because it is Semana Santa! Specifically Good Friday of Holy Week.
For those that profess the Christian faith, Holy Week is the last week of Jesus Christ’s earthly life. Holy Week marks His final days filled with highs and lows and the pinnacle of the faith tradition… Jesus’ death on a cross and then His bodily resurrection, with the promise of life everlasting for all who believe He is the one and only son of God. For those who didn’t grow up in this faith tradition, it can be a lot to wrap your mind and spirit around.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
John 3: 16-17
For Christians this week is all about the fulfillment of the coming of the Messiah in ancient Hebrew scriptures. It is all about the overcoming of evil with good. It’s all about hope. The eternal hope that promises joy, peace, and love. A hope that surpasses our understanding and the reality of our earthly lives. A hope that can transform earthly lives, when given the chance.
This type of hope requires a level of faith… belief or trust in something or someone beyond oneself. People of Judeo-Christian or Muslim heritages claim to believe or have faith in one God. The one who created the heavens and the earth. The dictionary places the word “faith” not just as a word that can be described only in terms of an organized religion, but also with synonyms like confidence, trust, and hope. See the image here for more words.
The one difference in the contextual meaning of the words faith and belief is that they represent a present or current state of thinking/being. While hope represents a future or anticipated state of thinking/being.
The scripture from the Holy Bible says:
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11: 1
It’s true, isn’t it? If we have seen something, then hope isn’t needed to know that it exists.
Here’s an example that I was given when I was in Iowa this past week, accompanying my husband, Bruce, for the University of Dubuque’s Board of Trustee’s spring educational conference and semi-annual meetings. I’ll share a bit more about why I decided to use some of my Delta air-miles at the last-minute to attend. And I’ll share the hope that I have because of conversations I had outside of those meetings. But first, I’ll share the hope that spring is coming to the upper Mid-West.
The pictures below show the slow progress of spring’s arrival in the upper Mid-West this year. If you have lived in a cold climate in your life, then you know what I am talking about: the seemingly unending cold and grey.
The first picture is from our dear friend’s, the Drs. Ward, front yard. The first signs are their daffodils, often the first signs of spring. In the next two photos you’ll see there is still a lot of grey in the landscape across Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois, but green grass is beginning to peak out, as are the buds on trees and the light green of the willow trees, in my sister-in-law Linda’s neighborhood in Antioch, IL.
Nature is beginning to awaken with migrating birds, heralding the coming arrival of spring. There is hope that the winter’s below freezing, 20-degree weather from the week before, won’t return for at least another six months.
Since it might not be spring arriving that’s on the front of your mind, what things have you hoped for recently? Is it a new spring wardrobe, a new job, a partner to build a life with, a larger house, a (another) child, funds to pay off your house and live comfortably when you retire, good grades on your upcoming final exams, a good result on the upcoming medical test, a way to balance your budget, acceptance into the university (graduate school) of your choice, an improved relationship with someone close to you, a successful season for your sports team, a place in the assisted-living community for your parent, enough money to afford important medication, a new car, an organ transplant that could save your/a loved one’s life, a way to break away from a bad habit, a healed heart after a significant loss….?
So, what are the things that God has said that we are to hope for? Here are a just a few of the promises that God spoke to the early father’s and prophets of the faith.
“7 Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”
Deuteronomy 31:7-8
God promised the Israelites an inheritance… of land. He also promised His presence, protection, faithfulness, and encouragement. And below, His continued presence, peace, strength, instruction, and encouragement. These are promises not only for the Israelites but for all of us as well.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 NIV
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:31
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Isaiah 26:3
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
Psalm 32:8
Or, “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”
Yes, God promises His knowledge of our future, with good plans, more words of encouragement, His continued presence, a listening ear, peace, guidance and a release from what holds power over us.
Did you note that God has a few conditions to his promises? The primary condition is for all of us to love Him and worship Him as our only God. He also wants us to seek a personal relationship with Him, to do our best to obey His commandments (and if we believe in Him, He promises forgiveness for our failures). Finally, He calls us to love others as we love ourselves.
Some people find these conditions and his commandments restricting. But God gave them to us because He loves us more than we could ever imagine. His commandments provide us guidelines/guardrails for the best ways to live. Living as He prescribed is the way to walk in the will and blessings of God. “Life is full of tradeoffs,” as the expression goes. It’s just that some of life’s tradeoffs are so important that they have an eternal impact for us. As difficult as being obedient to God may seem, His intent is for our best lives.
During the past hard five years, it has been a huge comfort for me to know that God has been “for me” and my life. While I might not have always felt it, that isn’t what faith is about. Faith isn’t a feeling. remember…
“Now faith (belief, confidence, or trust) is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1
Since my last journal entry, my husband and I have had yet another opportunity to exercise our faith for things hoped for, and literally not seen. You see, 25 years ago Bruce had an unprovoked retinal detachment that, after 5 surgeries between Orlando, Fl and the Duke Eye Center in North Carolina, left him with functioning sight in left eye only. His right eye has recently had a cornea transplant and then he had left eye cataract surgery. Yet he has been able to drive and navigate life with little interference, until recently. Multiple visits and tests with his retinal surgeon in Orlando since late last fall have provided no answers for the reduction in his vision field in his one functioning eye. In late February, the day before we flew down to the Dominican Republic for four months, Bruce had a test run on a very special machine at Bascom Palmer Eye Center in Miami, FL. It was one of only two machines in the entire state to run the test that they hope will reveal a diagnosis. And we are still waiting on the results, 7 weeks later. The results should have taken two-weeks at most to be available. If Bruce has a vision issue that can’t be treated, reversed, or repaired, it could significantly change how Bruce navigates daily life as well as what we anticipated the next 10-15 years would look like for us. So, we wait for the medical recommendation, holding on to our faith for encouraging news from Bruce’s next consult in three weeks.
Faith is the hope, confidence, trust that God will continue to be who He has always been and will do all that He has promised that He will do.
3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 56: 3-4 NIV
Will with his rescued cat Max during his residency…Will with Bruce at Siesta Key after his diagnosis, and back in the hospital before his second surgery and hospice care.
Speaking of waiting…Most of you know that over five years ago now, our son Will was diagnosed with stage IV cancer of the small bowel, while in his final months of an internal medicine residency. What a few of you also know is that in the early days of Will’s cancer journey he and I began an outline of a program that has the potential to impact the lives of the next generation of young doctors.
The program focuses on the comprehensive preventive health of young practitioners. The key fundamentals of the program, if integrated into medical and advanced medical education, could impact the lives, longevity and happiness of our country’s physicians, not to mention the the quality of care that they provide to us. The ethos of my country’s medical education community is ripe “for transformation”. And I want to personally be part of a movement to honor and redeem Will’s lost life and impact the quality of future physician lives.
In the past five years I have spoken to over a dozen different physicians and friends placed in high places in medical education about this vision for better physician health. I have waited for any door to open and any doctor willing to commit to helping take the lead on the implementation of Will’s and my idea. Waiting is not a naturally easy thing for me. And waiting quietly an entirely different thing that I struggle with. But I have tried my best.
5 My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him.
Psalm 62:5 NASB
In December of 2024, The University of Dubuque (UD) announced that it had received a sixty-million-dollar gift from John and Alice Butler. John, a long-time board member, made the gift to establish a School of Osteopathic Medicine, the first medical school for the state of Iowa in the past 125 years. This new school will train Doctors of Osteopathy (DO’s), which is the same type of program that Will earned his doctorate from in 2017. The graduates from UD’s new DO program will serve the region that, like many other parts of the United States, is experiencing a shortage of physicians. It is a critical time in the founding of the school’s facilities, faculty, and administration, and, as I see it, the establishment of the principles that will guide its curriculum and operating environment.
So, that is the concept and hope I took to and have since come away with from my conversations last week with, the chairman of the university’s board, the Chairman of the new medical school’s dean search committee, the UD President’s wife, and several other board members and key university leaders.
I have hope. And I am putting my trust, belief, confidence…faith, in the God who makes promises and fulfills them. I am praying and trusting in Him that I’ll have the opportunity to speak more about, and if it be in His will, have active part of the concept of transforming the environment of medical education, beginning at UD. I have hope.
Will’s first year medical school “White Coat”, Will preparing for the day’s medical rotation, Dr. William E. Hedgepeth
Easter in my faith tradition represents a time of hope, rebirth, and renewal. It is a time for reflection on a God who loves the whole world so much that He would do anything for us so we can spend an eternity of joy and happiness with Him. Anything…. that included giving up His only son to be tortured, killed, and raised from the dead.
I know something of what that loss of an only son is like and therefore, I am willing to give what I can to help save other doctor’s lives.
I have hope that Bruce’s eye can retain its sight and that you will be prayerful in your support for that along with my desire to initiate the program for the University of Dubuque’s DO program and for me to personally participate. I would greatly appreciate it, if it is God’s will, and for His glory.
(I send my apologies for the length of this journal entry. It was as difficult for me to write, as it was for me to navigate life this past year. But that is how God seems to work with me and my soul… on parallel paths. May His nature and name be honored in the words written and the comparisons drawn.)
Yep, I am a planner. And it definitely wasn’t my plan to take nine months to finish writing and post this journey entry. That itself is a clue of how the past months have gone…
Making plans is just as natural for me as having a beverage in my hand during every waking hour of the day. If you are one of my friends that started off as a banking workshop client or participant, then you know I am known for having three beverages at a time on the front table of the “classroom.”
Of course, that hasn’t always worked out well. Like the time I sat back on the table and almost landed on my cup of coffee. Fortunately, it didn’t turn over on my laptop. Or, the time I was driving with my charging mobile phone when it fell into my open glass of water. Maybe “Spills” will be a future journal entry.
But back to “plans.” Creating a plan involves a lot of big-picture imagining, often driven by priorities and goals. For me planning includes thinking of outcomes/consequences, and then weighing risks and returns… as us “credit risk professionals” like to frame it.
Yes, I love to brainstorm, create options, decide about a direction, and then formulate a plan to “get there.” Often in the details of the plan are where my checklists come into play. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll read my Journal entry “Epilogue: Lists” on this website.
It’s the dreaming and planning that come first before the lists. Without a dream or vision, you can’t create a meaningful plan.
I love to plan everything; from what’s for dinner (most nights), or how to entertain visiting friends from out of town or out of the country, or what to buy for someone for their birthday, or who we can make plans to see on our annual fall RV road trip, or how to best support the growth and development of each of my children (grandchild now), or where to live as we get closer to retirement age, or what the house needs to be like to allow us” to age in place”, and on and on.
Here is a favorite recipe given to me by our pastor friend Mairisine from Northern Ireland…yum!
I don’t know about you, but I started planning parts of my life when I was young. I began building expectations for things like: sorting out my interest and availability for various afterschool activities, dreaming of vocational careers to pursue, or which club and community service involvements to sign-up for. Whether to make part-time work a priority in the schedule, and what learning curriculum choices to make to accomplish my educational/work goals. How might these choices impact the next decision about my education or training? Which college or university would be best to attend? What work vocation do I want to pursue? Where in the country or world do I want to live?, or at what general age do I think I want to make a marriage decision? Do I want to become a parent and if so, when? How do I ensure that established priorities are supported on a daily and annual basis? How can I support my loved ones, to help them become their best?
As I reflect on it, life is rich with planning opportunities! Each stage of life, from childhood to senior adulthood has a vast number of opportunities and requirements to plan.
But how accurate and effective have I been at making plans over the decades of my life? In some ways, it’s really an irrelevant question, isn’t it? If you’ve lived long enough, even a couple of decades, you know that life doesn’t always go according to your plans.
I have learned that whenever I build a plan my expectations start getting built as well. And this is where I often set myself up for frustration and disappointment.
Just today, (written on October 8, 2024) up in lovely Door County, Wisconsin, where we are camping and celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday, I re-dislocated a toe and couldn’t get a shoe on.
Having good hiking shoes on, to enjoy Peninsula State Park is part of the Hedgepeth family’s 50+ year tradition. Well, there goes my plan to hike up Eagle Tower, across Linda’s Meadow to the Pooh Tree, then down to the Shore Trail, pass the cliff caves to get to Green Bay, and back. Really!!!!
Scrapbook photos of trips to Door County, WI with Bruce, his parents, sister Linda with husband Colin, Will and Kate.
Bruce and his sister Linda back at the cliff caves beneath Eagle Tower. Without me.
Of all days to have a mishap, why today? On top of that, today hurricane Milton is headed toward central Florida and specifically the city of Sarasota where we’ve lived on two different occasions. And there are many family members and friends who will be in harm’s way or have their personal property threatened by the storm.
Since our campsite in the park has no WIFI or cell service, I am spending time today at my sister-in-law’s hotel while she, her friend Debby and Bruce make the coveted hikes.
This time, with my iced foot up and my laptop on, is giving me an opportunity to pray for, call, email, and text with many Florida friends, to make sure they are provisioned and taking cover with the storm approaching. It is making me slow down during a time that has been very busy and freeing me up to write to you. Yeah, I would rather be hiking and enjoying the cool and sunny weather up here, but God is giving me the grace and perspective to take a deep breath and appreciate what He has put on my heart today. (P.S. several friends had their home flooded; the Foxes condo and contents was destroyed inside during the hurricane that day, the Deems lost the first floor of their home along with their RV and a car, others lost roofs, fences, access to their businesses, every thing in there refrigerators and freezers, and many lovely trees. Fortunately, everyone was safe from personal harm.)
Today is another example of how my plan results don’t always materialize as brainstormed. Frequently, something gets “lost in translation.”
Sometimes it’s something as inconsequential as today’s hike, or the look of the decorations I put on a cake, or the consistency of my gravy for mashed potatoes at the holidays. Or how an outfit just doesn’t come together like I thought it would. This one as been particularly problematic over the decades when I’ve traveled with a limited wardrobe and wanted to look appropriate for a client engagement. Like the time in 2006 when Delta lost my luggage for five days out of a six-day work trip to Florence, Italy. Oh, darn… I just had to go shopping!!! I’m still thankful for Mindy K. my training partner on that trip who found a local marketplace with realistic prices for clothing and a second suitcase to bring it all home in… instead of the “high street stores” that wanted $150 for a simple white blouse!
Minor plans not coming to fruition are frustrating. But what happens when an important plan doesn’t work out? Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, and on occasion, even downright devastated to have plans fall through? Speaking for myself, when the expectations for something significant are not met, it can be difficult for me to adjust and move ahead.
Like, when a job didn’t turn out to be what it was promised to be or as rewarding as what I had imagined. Or when a personal relationship ended on a sour note, or when the life of someone very dear to me ended way too soon.
This last one has been specifically true when our son Will passed away from cancer four years ago on November 10th. Gone are the plans for his cardiology fellowship, a wife, a family, a practice near us, more family trips together… continual reminders that my imaginings and “plans” for Will…will never be.
Will and “Mama” at his sister Kate’s wedding in March 2018.
Yep, plans not materializing can be devastating. And even though it’s been years, there are times where I feel the pain, anger and questions rise up in me. The devastation feels like it was just last week that we lost him. There’s been so many times when I’ve tried to get “a handle” on our loss… that I could hardly pray.
One of several displays set up by my friend Lori L at Will’s celebration of life, July 2021. Don’t you love the Scrabble 30th birthday greeting made by my sorority sister Kathy M.?
I had prayed so hard for his healing. We worked so hard with his doctors and did our best to give him excellent medical care his entire life. So when Will didn’t recover from his cancer I sort of stopped reaching out to ask God for help for me.
I guess I took on our daughter Kate’s mindset when she was 3 years old. “I do it myself!” I’ve wondered if God really listened to my begging to heal Will and if He cared how I was doing. Like a self-sufficient and stubborn 3 year old, I’ve let this keep me a bit distant from God.
When I’ve found myself able to wonder and pray, I ask question like “will there never be an answer as to why Will had to suffer and die?” or “Is there a way that I can turn Will’s pain and the loss of his talents into something that can help others?” or “Am I ever going to really be “okay” again?” So many questions for why the “plans” didn’t work out and why I still feel lost in all of it.
Deep down, I know that I haven’t lost my belief in God. I believe that He is all knowing (Omniscient) , all powerful (Omnipotent) , always loving and always present (Omnipresent) . I have experienced for decades how He can speak, guide, forgive, and provide for me. At one point one of my main spirtitual gifts I could admit to having was that of faith. But since our loss of Will, I just haven’t “felt” heard, guided and provided for. It’s felt like a huge testing of my faith.
I know that Bruce and I have had so many people praying for our entire family. And I am aware that it is by God’s grace that I am even to get up and accomplish anything on some days. Yep, somedays, I feel like I am living life, just going through the motions. So thank you, if you’re one of these special people who have prayed for us.
These past months have been another one of those times where a lot of plans didn’t turnout the way that I imagined. I had plans for how I would spend my time during our late January-June 2024 visit to the Dominican Republic. That is when this journal entry began to take shape in my heart and mind.
I had plans at the beginning of last year that I would be working many days up at the Young Life’s camp, Pico Escondido in Jarabacoa. Plans to have lots of interactions with many college, church and family teams that work up at camp and with my Dominican kitchen sister’s and other ministry expats.
But my early January Mayo in Florida diagnosis with Morphea, and the prescribed autoimmune medication I started off with, left me often tired, nauseous, and with a headache. Lacking the energy and enthusiasm that I typically operate with, was not what I wanted or planned.
The elevation plans for the house that didn’t get built.
Add to that the frustrating 18 months, of not being able to get a home built, two doors down from our daughter and her family. We trusted a builder that we had worked with before in a successful renovation, only to find him lying to us and cheating us. The time and money that we lost during this process was not in the plan when we signed a contract with him.
The still empty lot…it’s for sale. Come be our neighbor!
You know how life plans go, don’t you? Maybe for you it was that job offer you were certain was yours, but it never came through… and you had already pictured what it was going to be like and even had your workspace all mentally organized. Or, was it that special relationship or marriage that didn’t work out the way you and they promised? How about an accident or long-term health condition that has you unable to do everything that you used to do? Have you had a diagnosis that you dread? Have you been left with chronic pain? Or was it the violation of trust by someone close to you? Or was it about your friend, child, parent, sibling, or spouse passing away much too early? Could it be the inheritance you were promised was taken by someone else, or the savings you built and appeared to be sufficient for; a house, education, business-start up, or a secure future, that ends up not being enough? Was it choices that you made that you wish you could reverse? Was it the partner or child that you always dreamed of having that hasn’t happened?
“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” Proverbs 19:21 NLT
“Here’s the preachy part,” as my retired firefighter-paramedic-missionary brother-in-law Colin would say (Colin who is in the black T-shirt in the scrapbook picture above, unexpectedly passed away the day before my mom in September of 2022). The holy scriptures of the world’s three monotheistic religions agree on telling us; that when God made heaven and earth, He declared it all good. Then the original human creations of His did the one thing they were told not to do, and this disobedience allowed evil and sin to be unleased on our world.
We live in this world with that “fall” from God’s plan. So things are no longer perfect or fair. Because of human’s separation from God, which wasn’t intended, bad things happen. It’s the evil in the world that brings us loss, sadness, destruction, and pain. While it’s not God who causes the bad things to happen, he does allow it. Like me, you may question why would a good God allow this to be a reality? Why do such hard things happen that impact us for reasons that are beyond what we think we deserve and our ability to understand? There are entire books written about this very topic and the hard question. So, I won’t attempt to come close to providing you all the evidence to prove it’s true. But here are a few scriptures that I am clinging on to.
Scripture tells us that God’s ways are not our ways. Here is how the prophet Isaiah puts it: “8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9. NIV
Also, there is a season for everything. God is the only one who has the big picture of what goes on in the world-we only see a tiny part of what He is trying to achieve. We aren’t promised a trouble-free life (no matter how good we are or how much we plan). But, despite what we feel, God has clearly stated that He loves us so much.
The almighty God desires a relationship with us so that we will keep Him our top priority and that we will rely on Him to turn even our failed plans for our safety, provision, and our over-all good.
King David wrote in Psalm 62:7-8:
“My salvation and my honor depend on God[c]; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
Read and meditate some more with me on these next verses which have been preserved over the millennia for us.
From King Solomon:
A Time for Everything
“3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
I know that I don’t have any control over “time”, or the season that I find myself in, but deep down I still know Who is in control of it all. It is my faith that I am holding on to, and it’s God I am trying to grow closer to, regardless of how life and my plans are playing out right now. I am trying to focus more on the good that I have been blessed with instead of the change in plans that I didn’t want. Surrendering to God, my plans, and trusting Him to take care of everything, has become part of my morning quiet time prayer meditation.
Jesus Christ said,
33 “I have told you these things, so that in meyou may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NIV)
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
Proverbs 16:3
We also have God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
And The Apostle John wrote:
“3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
What has God made new out of my failed plans? Here are just a few examples I want to share.
My early career disappointments turned out to be the exact experiences that I needed to build a learning and development career. A career that I have found to be extremely rewarding and has provided flexibility, travel benefits, and income that worked well for my family.
The pain and disappointment of no hike with that dislocated toe meant found time to catch up with friends that were in the middle of a hurricane and added to my understanding of messed up plans.
The failed plan for the construction of a new home means that the bottom-line final costs for the renovation, we had to pivot to and just completed, was likely less expensive than the original plan to build the other home.
Our new home prior to renovations…it’s across the street from our daughter Kate and her family and the still empty lot.
The diagnosis of Morphea and the autoimmune medication I have been taking did alter my plans for ministry activities last year, but it did allow me to enjoy lots of restful time with the mama-dog Dora, who adopted us and then gave birth to four delightful puppies. What joy they brought (and still bring) us, was a gift.
Dora and her months old puppies last May
Dora and her puppies scramble for attention and love. Don’t we all appreciate the same?
I still have no answer for some of the biggest plan deviations/deviations in my, and I likely won’t this side of heaven. You bet asking about Will is going be one of my first conversations with The Almighty.
Bruce and Walker making memories, crab hunting at the beach.
I am focused on appreciating more and more making time for and memories with those living family and friends that I still have, because of all the losses I’ve had, Will, my parents, Bruce’s Mom, a brother-in-law, and school friends.
What I am holding on to during this season of reflection and healing is; a focus on praising God for His many blessings, a focus to use God’s word in making new plans for my life, and a focus on the perspective of allowing troubles and failed plans to be opportunities for emotional growth, spiritual strengthening and overall perseverance.
Hear the wisdom that come to us from King Solomon:
Wisdom Bestows Well-Being
3 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a]
The things that God is calling me to plan are:
–To know in my spirit, not just mind that He Is still there for me.
–To spend time quietly with Him, (“We must keep God in front of us” Jerry Bridges)
Spending part of my quiet time each day with “An engaging visual journey” book by Hannah Hurnard, et al, a gift from a dear friend Kate M.
–To spend time in holy scripture to understand His ways and promises more
–To focus on my love God more than I do my love for anyone or anything else.
Jonathan Edwards, the colonial American Congregational preacher, theologian, missionary to native Americans and president of the college of New Jersey which became Princeton University, said in his sermon “Safety, Fullness, and Sweet Refreshment in Christ”,“If God in his providence calls his people to mourn over lost relations, and if (God) repeats his stroke and takes away one after another of those that were dear to (his people); it is a supporting, refreshing consideration to think that Christ has declared that He will be in stead (fill the place) of all relations unto those who trust in Him.” I know that I need God to fill the empty places in my broken heart. I can’t do it myself.
–To trust in Him for what is really the best plan for me. He has the big picture, I don’t.
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28 NLT
God has the best of life planned for us that seek Him. And He will help us use our life’s planning failures for His glory. He wants us to have hope in His good plans for our lives. “Hope,” now there is another word worthy of examining. Hopefully, it won’t be nine months before we journey together with this word on parallel paths.
The “word” that has come to me this week, is disjointed.
When I Googled it I found definitions such as: “Separated at or as if at the joint, lacking coherence or orderly sequence”, “being thrown out of orderly function”, “not well connected and therefore often confusing”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore, difficult to understand” Sources: Merriam-Webster.com, Cambridgedictionary.org, and Collinsdictionary.com
“Dora” is the reason for this entry. Dora is the recently-arrived-in-our-neighborhood stray or “perro callejero”- aka, street dog, here in Buena Vista, Dominican Republic (DR). She showed up over two weeks ago, hungry and getting around on three of her four legs. She had seen her the week before on the curvy road that runs alongside our neighborhood, dodging busy traffic. Huge cringe!!!!
The community’s day-time security guard, Jose, took compassion on her and began feeding her, so she has happily stayed in the area. It was just a few days after her appearance that we found out that Jose brought his family’s meal leftovers to feed Dora and when Jose had a day off, she didn’t have anything to eat. So we began chipping-in our scraps and even bought for her a bag of dried dog food to keep at the security gate.
Either Dora can spot a tender heart a block away or she must have noticed us walking to deliver food to the plastic sour cream container lid that she dined from…we are three houses down the street from the security gate. Because she started; sleeping in the corner of our drive way, greeting us in her skittish way, trying to follow us on our walks/runs (it’s hard to keep up with only three short useful legs), hanging out on front porch with me during my morning journaling quiet time. Our connection progressed to Dora sleeping on our door mat, allowing us to begin to pet her/rub her belly, and finally, giving us little kisses/licks on our hands. Such a sweet little thing she is.
Then this past Sunday, we returned from a Young Life middle school weekend camp to hear the news that Dora had been hit by a pick-up truck, right out front of our house. She was hurt, cowering in some nearby bushes and growling at Jose who was first to go check on her. We were so upset, and we called Dinorah, Jose’s step-daughter (read the prior entry Epilogue: Connections to hear a bit more about the family) to see if she could assist us in getting Dora medical help.
Thanks to Dinorah’s coaxing (‘The Animal Whisperer’, we call her), Dora was removed from the bushes and carried to our car. With my husband Bruce driving, he and Dinorah got Dora to a vet close to home. She received a pain shot and muscle relaxant, and then they made a second stop at an emergency X-ray center (where they serve typical serve a human…not a pet/la mascota).
Dinorah and Bruce brought Dora back with an X-ray (one side view they took) and a preliminary diagnosis from the Vet that that her left hip joint was likely dislocated. So, Sunday night Dora slept on our front porch, in a plastic dog house, that she had previously refused to enter. Monday morning, with a referral for another Vet to hopefully reset her hip, Bruce, Dinorah, and I wrapped Dora in a beach towel and drove her down the mountain, to Vet numero dos.
After more X-rays and a second opinion, it was found that Dora’s pelvis is broken (this week’s accident result), she has a congenital issue with with her sacrum (lowest part of her vertebrae) where her spinal cord is compressed (life-long and painful), and she had a prior operation on her left hip where the head of her femur, the “ball” of her ball-and-socket joint, was removed… so her hip and leg will forever be disjointed. “Disjointed”…not connected, so she won’t walk or run smoothly, which will make the basics of her everyday life more difficult.
For now she is under shelter, either resting on her beach towel under our car or under a plastic table we moved to provide more shade and shelter under the eves of the house… with Vet prescribed limited mobility for a month. She is taking anti-inflammatory and joint repair medications in her meals until she has a re-evaluation in early April.
Fortunately, she is able to get up to “take care of business” and find a more comfortable reclining position, so she is slowly showing some improvements. Dora even managed through a warm bath today and is resting comfortably on a clean beach towel as I type. It is hard to see an innocent animal hurt, isn’t it? And it’s hard to think about her always having difficulties in her daily mobility. Pray for us to help her find a permanent home or a care solution here in the DR before the end of June, when we return to the States.
Dora and her accident have me thinking about the number of different ways that my life, and those of other loved ones I know, have been disjointed.
Disjointed.. like my efforts to understand and speak Spanish. I am continuing to build my Spanish vocabulary but struggling with my speaking confidence during our five month stay in the DR this year. But I honestly admit that it’s slow going, because my approaches are “lacking in coherence”, “not well connected” and therefore my results are “often confusing”, and “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore difficult to understand.”
I can laugh at this example, but it’s often frustrating and even embarrassing for me to not be able to communicate with people I am working with, or when I want to connect with people at a deeper personal level, or when I need to manage an important task out in the community. I know the efforts that I need to make to become proficient in my conversational Spanish. Efforts to prioritize greater time for daily study and practice. Yes, I need to get more “immersed” in Spanish if I am going to experience the confidence and joy of better communications. Yes, I know I am living here… but they speak so fast and loud… I am intimidated!
It’s clear to me that being disjointed isn’t a desirable “state of being.” When I think about it, this insight applies equally to other area’s of my life. Disjointedness can be present and a description of so many different aspects of our lives. Whether it relates to; the path of our careers, how we go about accomplishing home/apartment/flat projects, having to deal with chronic pain, illness, and death, our plans/efforts to save for our retirement years, the state of our family and/or personal relationships, you can fill-in more areas…but maybe most importantly, the state of our spiritual relationship with God.
For me, disjointed right now looks like … living in two different locations/countries during the year, managing the complicated logistics of not having a US based home to store our personal belongings in that we didn’t move down to the DR, struggling to keep adequate contact with family and different friends around the world whom I love, making decisions about different opportunities to serve others, and experiencing different sabbath worship traditions.
Disjointed… like entering that stage of life that includes wanting to make adjustments in my work load requirements (since there are fewer work-travel opportunities after COVID, it has made some assignment decisions a lot easier) and making decision about beginning to access some of my retirement options.
Disjointed… like losing precious family and loved ones that were so essential to my everyday life. This week I have been grieving with Wednesday’s news of the passing of our dear courageous friend, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and awesome basketball enthusiast, Mike Oliver-from Maitland, FL, Athens, GA, San Anselmo, CA and finally, Birmingham AL. Yes, my life has had many ways of feeling disjointed.
I have to admit that this combined disjointedness, this sense of “lack of continuity”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and therefore, hard to understand”, has made my continued spirituality growth challenging in the past several years. I have felt disjointed in my relationship with God.
When you step back and think about it, can any relationship be deepened and thrive if it is disjointed? A quick Google search confirmed for me the belief that while long-distance relationships (LDR’s) can initially be extremely difficult to establish (40% fail within the first three months and one source quoting research that only 16% of people are currently in a successful LDR’s), they can be equally successful in the long-term. One source identified the three factors of; loneliness, lack of trust, and lack of communication, being the major contributors to the failure rate of this and any kind of “disjointed” relationship. So, wouldn’t the concepts apply in reverse… any relationship that focuses on good communication, trust, and time together…stands a high percentage chance of being successful?
I think many folks look at “a relationship with God” like they do with a long-distance human relationship. “He” isn’t visibly present and not frequently audibly heard. Holy Scriptures say that He is known to speak quietly and in subtle ways that we will easily miss, if we don’t turn down the noise around us and aren’t tuned into His voice.
Being disjointed in our understanding, communications, commitment to God will definitely make the relationship feel NOT; connected, smooth, orderly, clear, or logical. In other words, if we don’t make consistent time to connect with God through the various means of spiritual practices, if we aren’t clear or logical in our requests, and have a willingness to listen to His replies and direction, is it any wonder that the disjointedness with God will lead to us to feeling alone, frustrated, confused, and struggling?
“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55: 8
I don’t know about you but I think I am often to blame when there is a breakdown/dislocation/disjointed communication… in my daily walk through life with God. I believe that I can be quite sufficient in my daily life, thank you very much. Relying on my own abilities and ideas. So, I set up an Long Distance Relationship situation with God.
This is completely opposite of what Holy Scripture instructs us:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all way acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
During my first weeks here in the Dominican Republic I’ve read John Mark Comer’s book Practicing the Way, which is about discipleship and seeking an authentic relationship with God. Comer (a Christian) presents the insight that we all are “disciples” of something or someone–a keto diet, reality TV, work success/recognition/titles, following “The Royals”, curating the perfect social media presence, a favorite performer, a bigger bank account, a political preference, our children/family, social/eco justice issues… and sometimes even our faith preference. On Tuesday I read in Comer’s book:
“Of course, the greatest paradox of Christian spirituality is that it’s in dying that we live, it’s in losing our (false) self that we discover our (true) self, and it’s in giving up our desires that our deepest desires are finally sated.” page 213
And just a few pages John Mark adds:
Life is hard, with or without God. But what’s really hard–nearly unbearable for some– is facing the pain and suffering of life apart from God. So is trying to save yourself rather than be saved. Living in a godless, shepherdless, meaningless universe–that’s really, really hard.” (page 215)…” “So, rather than question, ‘How much am I willing to surrender to Jesus (God)?’ ask yourself honestly, ‘How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?’ ” page 216
A reflection form Holy scripture agrees,
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”Romans 8:28:
Once you’ve answered Comer’s question of “How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?” the next one is likely, ‘What do I need to stop doing, to give myself the space to do the drawing near to God… so that I can enjoy the outcomes that are promised from connecting with Him?’
There are likely hundreds of thousands of books written about methods (historically referred to as ‘disciplines’) for enriching spirituality. You may be very familiar with the ways to become closer to God. Some of subscribers of this websites have attended one or more of the women’s retreats that I helped lead over the past two decades. Retreats where we stepped away from all that was our “regular lives” for a committed time to practice ways to incorporated many of the classic and contemporary means of growing closer to God. Scripture tell us:
Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:8
So, you likely know this, that in order to have time to get spiritually reconnected with God (to read, study, pray/meditate, journal, worship, fast, silence, music, serve…), you have to disconnect (become disjointed) from the things that distract you and take up your precious time and focus.
What are the desires of your heart? What are you currently a “disciple” of? Is there “clarity” and a “smooth and “logical connection” between your life’s “discipleship” and the outcomes you desire most? Is your life “disjointed” so you’re not living your life in a way to reach the real desires of your heart? How can you best “reconnect” to live your best life, now? What can you eliminate that is distracting you from time with God?
“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 3-4
I am committed to “doing less” to allow for more time to live in such a way that God can heal the areas of disjointedness in my life. I pray that you may want to (continue to) join me in the journey to answer these questions above and then put the answers in to practice.
Let’s delight in the Lord, because that is why He created us, human kind. We were created to be connected with Him, to worship Him, and to enjoy Him forever….not to be disjointed.
It’s that time of year when you don’t have to look hard to see all the signs of the holiday season. I noticed Christmas decorations on the shelves of local stores in the month of October, even before Halloween! Remember when retailers waited until December?
In the month of December my favorite radio station played non-stop the classic songs as well as new remakes of holiday favorites. They are even conducted a contest to vote for our favorite holiday movies. With the cold weather arriving, taking one look at the sweaters and accessories folks are wearing , or glancing at the monthly beverage specials at the coffee shop or your favorite restaurant…you’ll know… ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.”
But don’t forget it’s Hanukkah, too. Menorah’s abound near store registers, along with the gold chocolate coins and books like; Did Jew Know?: A Handy Primer on the Customs, Culture & Practices of the Chosen People by Emily Stone and Hanukcats: And Other Traditional Jewish Songs for Cats by Laurie Loughlin. And I would be holding back if if didn’t share with you my favorite Hanukkah song by one of my favorite jazz artists:
Yes, it’s been easy to pick up on the signs of the season. However, this fall it was different kinds of “signs” that I caught my attention and imagination. Across the 4,600 miles we drove on our fall RV trip, I received some parallel reminders of what life can hold.
When we started off the five-plus-week road trip on October 6th , the weather felt like summer. The daytime temperatures neared 90 outside of Jacksonville, FL and the heat followed us up the eastern seaboard into South Carolina. Steamy and buggy conditions gave us no indication that we would soon get any relief from the seasonal south. Why does it seem to linger unmercifully longer each year?
It wasn’t until we passed through North Carolina, almost crossing into the state of Virginia that we started to feel like we needed to change out of our shorts and sandals and consider some jeans and closed-toe shoes.
The first signs of fall appeared when we climbed out of the RV in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, where we were greeted by a cool brisk breeze. Bring out the sweatshirts! The first sign of fall.
Muted Fall colors and dropping leaves didn’t appear until we reached the state of New Jersey, just outside of Philadelphia, PA. With nighttime temperatures dipping in the upper 40’s it was time to put the flannel sheets on the bed. But it wasn’t until we drove across the (who knew) very long top of the state of Maryland and entered West Virginia, that we confidently knew that it was fall. Not only did the calendar say it was mid-October, but the colors, the temperatures, and the dip in humidity were all in agreement.
This is the part of our drive that it occurred to me, how I often need undeniable proof that something is real before I believe it. So, as we traveled across the country, some of the questions I started asking myself went something like…
“Do I rely too much on external events and ‘signs’ to point me towards a spiritual reality before I accept what is “true?”
“Where does my faith in God relate to the everyday navigation of my life?”
“What if I am ‘not seeing any signs’ of God’s direction right now?”
“If I don’t see signs, does that mean He isn’t real?”…” What do I do?”
One thing I have learned about myself, after decades of teaching analysis courses for banks, is that I am a visual learner. So, it wasn’t but a few minutes after the above questions about signs started running through my head, that I noticed the literal road signs that we were passing.
Like this next picture I took of road signs (yes, we are moving in the RV so the focus wasn’t the greatest and some of the formatting limitations (or my own) on the tool used here for publishing Onparallelpaths is not what I wanted ), but you’ll get the picture! 🙂
Section I: Directional Signs
Yes, the signs show that the road curves ahead to the left and there are guard rails and additional arrows to direct the traffic. It occurred to me: “Wow, what I would give to have those kinds of clear signs and protection in my life!!” I’ve felt that I have sometimes just barely missed one of life’s curves and have scrapped my way around one of the “guard rails” in life. Can you relate?
So, there I was on I-97 through West Virginia, when a “holy moment” from God happened, as Matthew Kelly writes in his book entitled Holy Moments. It was a precious moment when God reminded me that He has indeed been, and will always be, my ‘protective guard rail,’ and that His holy scriptures are my life’s road signs to follow.
The sweet moment of affirmation and conviction morphed into an obsession for me to see what other literal road signs we would pass and how I could see and hear some deeper meanings for the signs. Talk about making the travel time go faster!
Have some fun with me and listen for some spiritual insights for yourself:
Before I make big decisions and even manage day-to-day priorities, where do I seek my “travel” information to live the day?
Do I lift-up my heart in prayer to make sure I am seeking God’s will?
Do I just follow my regular routine regardless?
Am I on the right road to where God wants me to go?
Am I reading holy scripture, listening to wise friends, looking at His creation with an open mind, heart, and ears to hear God’s latest updates?
“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
“What to do now?” Which of these coming turns lead me toward what is best for me? Scripture says:
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”
1 Corinthians 14:33
Then why am I sometimes confused? Do I seek the Lord’s wisdom about which way to turn at an upcoming intersection…? “
Scripture also says;
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. “
Matthew 7:7 NLT
There have been times in my life where I have felt like I am just going around in circles… about a decision that needs to be made… about moving on from a past hurt… about a situation/conflict that hasn’t been resolved, or a habit that I really want to break but am not finding the will or way to do it.
What keeps you going around and around?
How have you learned how to stop the endless circling? Who could you share this insight with?
Life sometimes brings situations where we must keep going ahead. As much as we would like it, we aren’t allowed to turn back. Scriptures says:
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
Romans 5: 3-5 NLT
God’s “don’t turn back” signs are intended for our best futures. And anyone who drives a vehicle knows that you can’t drive ahead well by looking backwards.
I haven’t found it always easy to know the right direction to go in life. There are many ways God has pointed me in the “right” direction in the past. What ways has he used to direct you? How did He show you the “sign”?
Was the direction:
A bit of wisdom from a friend…
Inconvenient circumstances that end up being a blessing…
Making a tough decision that wasn’t popular with those around you but one that was morally and ethically sound…
Was it following the commands from holy scriptures even though you didn’t feel like it?
“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”
Matthew 6:33 Amplified Bible
It is always a good feeling when we are given an open way out, just as another way has closed. This is exactly what has happened for both my husband Bruce and I, when we have experienced life or work situation “trainwrecks” and God has pointed us toward solutions that were satisfying and financially sufficient to meet our needs.
When have you or someone you love experienced the one-way-closing and the blessing of another one opening?
I think I often overreact to bumps on my road of life. I tend to make them out to be some sign of something more serious, than a dip. Maybe it is a bit of PTSD from past “crashes”, but if it is really just a bump, they aren’t permanent, just a momentary occurrence. “God, give me the grace to slow down and to take life’s dips and bumps with greater flexibility and patience. Amen”
“Stop” is clear directional sign, isn’t it? Even as children, we didn’t want to be told to “stop.”
Has that changed as you’ve gotten older? What if stopping isn’t what we want… for a relationship… a career… our physical capabilities… our mental abilities… our spending habits… our volunteering passions, or even our very life?
Stops can be frustrating and devastating experiences. Stops can also be experienced as a break, a chance to reassess our life direction, an opportunity to make a positive change in our trajectory. A reset.
What have you learned about yourself and possibly, God’s will for your life, when you have come upon a stop sign?
What has happened to you and for you when you have embraced a “stop” in your life?
What can we do when our wants and God’s call to “stop” don’t align?
This sign above gave me the biggest laugh of the trip. The crazy thing is that this wasn’t the only one like this on the highway. There were many of these on this stretch of road. I don’t know about you but, when I pray for clarity of direction, I don’t always get a quick or obvious answer. God knows that I need and that I appreciate information about where I am to go. So why then do get a blank directional sign just like the one above?
Like this road sign, there are many things in our world that aren’t helpful for making good life directional decisions. We can’t necessarily rely on what we read, see, or hear around us. Thank goodness Bruce and I were using a good GPS app on during this part of our drive. We didn’t have to be frustrated by the empty signs. Likewise, we all could benefit to have God as our “life GPS”, to guide us safely and efficiently where He wants us to go.
If you look closer at this photo above, you’ll see the smaller indicator signs that there are lane shifts ahead. I think that I often miss the small, quiet messages God sends about my direction, looking only at the big picture of what is going on around me.
Our daughter Kate challenged me this summer to “be more present.” Sure enough, sometimes I don’t see the upcoming ‘lane shift’ signs until they are right in front of me… even sometimes on a bright orange sign that matches the construction safety barrels of life!
While I have found that “lane shifts” tend to be last minute pop-up type signs, I’ve noticed that curve signs in the road of life are normal and should be expected. I have learned that there are always changes going on around me and are therefore, things that I need to change in my life. Life never seems to run in a straight path.
My life hasn’t gone according to my plans. How about yours? Even on a daily basis, I usually don’t get things done on my “to-do list” in the order that I write them. Like the curves for a literal road add beauty and character to traveling through the scenery, so can changes on the curves of our lives add to the richness of the experience.
Curves require that we slow down and focus on the directional turns in our lives. Slowing down gives us time to anticipate and appreciate the reality of “now”. Even if we are being nudged over in a new direction, the slowing down ensures we are safe and can see the beauty of a different place or pace. Curves prompt a feeling of curiosity for a different view from around a bend. If life’s road was predictably straight that wouldn’t be the same experience. There wouldn’t be the same joy.
I’ve learned from my Kolbe consulting work over the past ten years that each of us deals with change and the unexpected curves in life differently. Some of us thrive on change and the opportunities for creativity and new experiences. For others, the curveballs of life’s changes can provoke a sense of danger which can be anxiety-producing. There are time were all us long for the stability of a steady and straight road ahead.
How has “an unexpected” curve brought you joy, a challenge to overcome, a liberating new perspective, or a blessing?
Likewise, how has a curve brought you fear and anxiety? How have you navigated this hard curve?
How has a curve helped you grow into who you are right now?
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
We humans aren’t always naturally patient, are we? We want to get ahead, be first, be rewarded, be on time, not be late, not be held back. Whatever!!!!
When have you learn about yourself and others when you were held back from “passing”?
Section II: Warning Signs
These warning signs remind me of some key lessons I have learned on life’s roadway.
Take the sign above that helps to identify poison ivy on the edge of a hiking trail. I have learn that it is very important to be able to identify those things, people, situations, habits, and even certain medications, food, and beverages, that can cause us discomfort and pain.
I am learning that this includes some personal boundaries that I established so that I can reduce “poisonous” thoughts, words, interactions, reactions, or indulgences. Being more present is causing me to pay more attention to when signs of warning show up.
That is a kind and thoughtful sign message with the warm brown mixed in with the caution…
Roadway warning signs often contain the colors yellow, orange, or red… depending on the degree of severity of the potential danger.
This one is more direct …and definitely not as urgent as the next sign. Notice the use of a lot of white and some red on this one compared to …..
Yes, this one is most imperative, made of mostly red and a little white and posted in duplicate!!!!
I have gotten this “Wrong Way” sign before. Have you? Sometimes I appreciated it and sometimes I did not. Therefore, sometimes I have paid attention to the sign and other times I didn’t.
I don’t know about you, but in hindsight it would have been easier to have honored the sign before I… entered a difficult, unhealthy, stressful, financially damaging, fill in the blank… relationship, job, situation…
When have you received this sign and chosen to obey it? When have you realized that you failed to honor the sign?
How I wish that it was easier to identify the detour signs in life. Detours are necessary when the road to where we want/need to go gets blocked or comes to a creeping crawl. Gosh it would be nice to embrace the detours instead of being frustrated by the command to “yield” or to obey the “diversion”.
If only I could quickly acknowledge to myself that I will ultimately be allowed to get where I “need to be”, I would be much less anxious about my life’s detours. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “What was that (name the detour) all about?” “Why have I had to go through this?”
“And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8: 27-28
Not all detours are negative experiences. Some of life’s most surprising and pleasant experiences have come when I’m diverted/rerouted in a direction that I didn’t intend to go.
What surprises (people, job skills, knowledge, network contacts, places to live, travel to experience…) have you experienced from your detours in life?
Here’s a warning sign of another temporary delay. When I see one of these I can anticipate needing to slow down, take a deep breath, and be prepared to wait. It can be a remind to myself that “next time” I need to allow a little more time to get where I am going. I usually don’t leave much margin for delays in my life, so building in extra time reduces my stress and gives me more time to be present.
If you haven’t read the prior On Parallel Paths edition, Epilogue: Overstuffed, you may want to read that next. It is all about what the lack of margin can do in your life.
Speaking of lack of margin, I can relate to this one…being too overloaded with burdens and commitments that when I hit a curve in life, I run the risk of losing my footing on the road. Since I have moved through my entire life tending to over-commit myself and my calendar, moving at a fast pace, I have eventually learned to recognize the “signs” of being close to my tipping point.
My signs are things like restless sleep, quick to aggravation, fault finding, and overreacting.
What are your personal signs of being “top heavy”, with the load you are carrying and the pace you are doing life?
There are some unusual signs that you can see on life’s roadway:
What are some of the signs that you’ve “seen” that are indicators that you need to be alert because there may be something unexpected coming your way that could be dangerous if you encounter it?
Are there some signs that make you smile?
Don’t you wish you could have experienced the warning of this sign… before the hard stuff hits you?
I must say that when I saw this sign below, I felt uncomfortable. We don’t have this one in Florida and you might not either.
Do you like the thought of someone watching your comings and goings?
Do you feel like you behave the same regardless if someone is watch you or not?
Do you slow down the minute you see a police officer or sheriff on the roadway?… because (like me) you are likely going a feeewwww miles over the speed limit.
The reality is that we are always under God’s “video surveillance.” He knows the number of hairs on our heads, He know what we think, what we do, and what we say. Yikes!!!
How does reminding myself of this impact how I will live today?
What needs to change to allow me to cruise down the highway of life, with joy and hope and without fear, guilt, and/or regrets?
One thing in life is certain… that we weren’t created to live solitary lives. That’s what I got out of these three signs. That whether we like it or not, we need others. And we need to figure out how to live with each other. This has been a challenge for humankind since the beginning of time.
I have been blessed by so many merges with people around the world that have made the journey down my road of life such a joy. And of course, I have merged into others or others have merged into me and the interaction wasn’t as pleasant.
Fortunately, most of those difficult interactions have been few and brief. I pray, “Lord, help me look for the beauty (holy moments) in the interpersonal mergers that will come my way today. And “Lord, help me keep an eye out for oncoming traffic that could cause a crash. Amen”
Life does consist of some “crashes.” I don’t have to look back too far to see them in my life. After a crash, I have found it important to step back and reflect on what led to it. Have my own investigation.
It may be my analysis training in credit risk management over the years in the financial industry that has led me to believe this. Or maybe I do this because I want to “know the why” behind something.
Because crashes can be painful, literally, physically, interpersonally, and usually spiritually. If I can help it, I sure don’t want to have to repeat the same crash a second time. But I’ll admit that when I haven’t learned everything that I needed to learn from a hard lesson the first time, I seem to be allowed additional “opportunities to master a topic”. Not an “exit” that I ever immediately find joy in having to visit. But we are encouraged to see the “crashes” as growing opportunities.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, 1 when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
Not all stops are damaging or frustrating. Stops can be peaceful and provide us with much needed relief. No pun intended, but I hope you smiled!
It’s important that the pace of our lives, not just on the flat-land-maintaince-mode level, but that we each get an opportunity to “coast.” Oh, how sweet that feeling is when everything feels easy and light.
Praising God and everything around me is so easy when I am in a coasting stretch. Traveling in the RV reminds me of other coasting times in my life… often marked by some of these signs of fun and diversions.
Life can’t be constant work and obligations. God created us to need time to unwind, relax, and be nourished. Daily we need; sufficient rest, exercise/movement, and healthy food, water, and beverages. There are times and certain places where we are allowed to pause and “unload”. Times to get our “maintaince light” checked out and a tune-up conducted.
We all need a weekly sabbath day, work holidays, and maybe even trips, so that we can get loaded back up with energy and a positive perspective to keep going on our journey.
Time apart from the daily routines and the same scenery, can enhance our creativity and reawaken our senses: time to connect with the God of creation, to connect with others through the benefits of prayer and worship, to spend time playing games, to share your heart with a good friend or counselor, or to take a nap.
Make use of healthy ways to lighten your life’s heavy load.
Which of these have you made use of in the past?
Which of these might you consider utilizing now to better deal with what life has you carrying?
There are wonderful benefits to our mind, body, and spirit when we take the time to enjoy the opportunities to coast during our life. Whether they be out in nature on various types of equipment and vehicles, connecting with creation, or if it is expanding our minds with places and things of historical significance, or appreciating the artistic creations of other humans. There are many wonderful ways to experience some rest.
Maybe it is the physical pleasure that the mixture of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin from physical activity, or the visual pleasure that we enjoy taking in the overwhelming variety of scenic road and waterways that cross our country’s landscape, or the spiritual urging that arise when we appreciate how God is showing-off in the moment. It all can be wonderous if we take the moment to acknowledge it.
Which are your favorite signs of diversions that you like to follow?
Yes, there are many intersections with God, and those people and opportunities that He has deemed important to put on our path. When I see an intersection ahead sign, I know I will likely need to slow down, yield, or maybe even come to a stop. I’ll need to make a choice.
And sometimes if I let my life’s pace move too fast… for the load I am carrying or if I begin to feel too confident in my own abilities and agenda, God will often give me a nudge with “a sign” to slow down, shift into a lower gear, or look for an emergency exit…
When the steep grade of doing life leaves you breathless and you feel like things are getting out of control:
What are the signs in your life that you need to slow down, shift to a lower gear, look for an ‘exit ramp’ to guide you to a safe stop?
Yep, this was a good reminder that God’s been there to slow me down and give me a more graceful “exit” to His way and priorities. His way of thinking and doing promises better outcomes, rather than allowing me to crash based upon my own self direction and pace.
Where in your life have you seen God put out His protective hand and guide you off the road to pause or send you off in another safe direction?
As long as we’re living and breathing there is more to the journey for us to experience. Until it is our last moments on earth, we are given the nudge to keep going.
There are so many opportunities, to learn, serve, appreciate, support, improve, and live. So, continuing to keep the mind, body, and spirit active is critically important. So, “Move it or lose it” the saying goes. With the amount of caregiving, I have taken on the past four years, and since have entered the last 1/3 or less of my life, this “keep moving” truth is one that I resonates deeply with me. If I “don’t do” now, I “won’t be able to do” later.
So, back to the signs of the holiday season that we are wrapping and my reason for having hope in the guidance and salvation of a living God: Over seven hundred years before Christ’s birthday, his coming to earth to show us how to live and give us eternal life was prophesied and recorded, n the books of Micaiah and Isaiah in the Torah. Here are just a few of the verses that reference Christ’s birth:
“But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,
are only a small village among all the people of Judah.
Yet a ruler of Israel,
whose origins are in the distant past,
will come from you on my behalf.”
Micah 5: 2
“Then Isaiah said, ‘Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of humans? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore, the Lord himself will give youa sign: The virginwill conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”
“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned…. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.”
Isaiah 9: 2, 6-7
“A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord— and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. He will the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked. Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist.The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling[a]together; and a little child will lead them.”
Isaiah 11: 1-6
Then in the New Testament of the Holy Bible we read:
“Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, ‘Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.’”
Take some time during the remainder of this holiday season, as we start 2024, to step back and be more present:
What are you seeing, hearing, sensing?
What do you think the “signs” are saying to you?
Take special note of the blessings that God has given you. How can you celebrate them?
How can you make the most of the curves, detour, merges, yields, stops, and even crashes, that you are currently dealing with?
This holiday season, it become clear that I need to pay more attention to the signs around me… that God has placed there for my best interest. I know that I need to be ready the enter this new year with an openness to yield, shift lanes, beware of bumps, and follow His occasional instructions to not turn around, to reduce my speed, and even stop. I know I’ll need to follow signs that I don’t want to follow and that I’ll also have opportunities to enjoy coasting, merging, detouring, and resting. I know that I need to be committed to being obedient to God’s directions because His Word says that’s what’s best for me.
I pray you will continue to join me in 2024 as we look for the life road “signs” that God has for us. And that by doing so, we will know in our hearts that God is loving, good, safe, but sometimes challenging in our life’s journey. It’s all for the best.
Wishes for good health and peace to you in 2024! I look forward to traveling with you again soon, Onparallelpaths.
P.S. This was my 2023 Christmas song dedication to our son Will, with whom we would give anything to have another Christmas.
On Parallel Paths 