hope – On Parallel Paths

Epilogue: Hope

Published on April 18, 2025 by onparallelpaths2 Comments

Our neighborhood here in the Dominican Republic is getting festive and loud. Many of the homes that sit quietly for most days of most weeks are now surrounded by multiple cars. There are sounds of children laughing and parents telling stories as families gather with their favorite music blasting from portable speakers. There is the smell of delicious food wafting on the almost constant breezes. It’s become busy here in Pinares de Buena Vista on this Friday because it is Semana Santa! Specifically Good Friday of Holy Week.

For those that profess the Christian faith, Holy Week is the last week of Jesus Christ’s earthly life. Holy Week marks His final days filled with highs and lows and the pinnacle of the faith tradition… Jesus’ death on a cross and then His bodily resurrection, with the promise of life everlasting for all who believe He is the one and only son of God. For those who didn’t grow up in this faith tradition, it can be a lot to wrap your mind and spirit around.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

John 3: 16-17

For Christians this week is all about the fulfillment of the coming of the Messiah in ancient Hebrew scriptures. It is all about the overcoming of evil with good. It’s all about hope. The eternal hope that promises joy, peace, and love. A hope that surpasses our understanding and the reality of our earthly lives. A hope that can transform earthly lives, when given the chance.

https://youtu.be/948Sm3bFH-s?si=ZQ1-2hJgBpBwIO5a

This type of hope requires a level of faith… belief or trust in something or someone beyond oneself. People of Judeo-Christian or Muslim heritages claim to believe or have faith in one God. The one who created the heavens and the earth. The dictionary places the word “faith” not just as a word that can be described only in terms of an organized religion, but also with synonyms like confidence, trust, and hope. See the image here for more words.

The one difference in the contextual meaning of the words faith and belief is that they represent a present or current state of thinking/being. While hope represents a future or anticipated state of thinking/being.

The scripture from the Holy Bible says:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11: 1

It’s true, isn’t it? If we have seen something, then hope isn’t needed to know that it exists.

Here’s an example that I was given when I was in Iowa this past week, accompanying my husband, Bruce, for the University of Dubuque’s Board of Trustee’s spring educational conference and semi-annual meetings. I’ll share a bit more about why I decided to use some of my Delta air-miles at the last-minute to attend. And I’ll share the hope that I have because of conversations I had outside of those meetings. But first, I’ll share the hope that spring is coming to the upper Mid-West.

The pictures below show the slow progress of spring’s arrival in the upper Mid-West this year. If you have lived in a cold climate in your life, then you know what I am talking about: the seemingly unending cold and grey.

The first picture is from our dear friend’s, the Drs. Ward, front yard. The first signs are their daffodils, often the first signs of spring. In the next two photos you’ll see there is still a lot of grey in the landscape across Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois, but green grass is beginning to peak out, as are the buds on trees and the light green of the willow trees, in my sister-in-law Linda’s neighborhood in Antioch, IL.

Nature is beginning to awaken with migrating birds, heralding the coming arrival of spring. There is hope that the winter’s below freezing, 20-degree weather from the week before, won’t return for at least another six months.

Since it might not be spring arriving that’s on the front of your mind, what things have you hoped for recently? Is it a new spring wardrobe, a new job, a partner to build a life with, a larger house, a (another) child, funds to pay off your house and live comfortably when you retire, good grades on your upcoming final exams, a good result on the upcoming medical test, a way to balance your budget, acceptance into the university (graduate school) of your choice, an improved relationship with someone close to you, a successful season for your sports team, a place in the assisted-living community for your parent, enough money to afford important medication, a new car, an organ transplant that could save your/a loved one’s life, a way to break away from a bad habit, a healed heart after a significant loss….?

So, what are the things that God has said that we are to hope for? Here are a just a few of the promises that God spoke to the early father’s and prophets of the faith.

“⁷Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.⁸The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”

Deuteronomy 31:7-8

God promised the Israelites an inheritance… of land. He also promised His presence, protection, faithfulness, and encouragement. And below, His continued presence, peace, strength, instruction, and encouragement. These are promises not only for the Israelites but for all of us as well.

^“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 NIV

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 26:3

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

Psalm 32:8

Or, ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹²Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.¹³You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

Jerimiah 29:11-14

https://youtu.be/9PugD11k3JU?si=AZOjhjuKYAzG6QND

Yes, God promises His knowledge of our future, with good plans, more words of encouragement, His continued presence, a listening ear, peace, guidance and a release from what holds power over us.

Did you note that God has a few conditions to his promises? The primary condition is for all of us to love Him and worship Him as our only God. He also wants us to seek a personal relationship with Him, to do our best to obey His commandments (and if we believe in Him, He promises forgiveness for our failures). Finally, He calls us to love others as we love ourselves.

Some people find these conditions and his commandments restricting. But God gave them to us because He loves us more than we could ever imagine. His commandments provide us guidelines/guardrails for the best ways to live. Living as He prescribed is the way to walk in the will and blessings of God. “Life is full of tradeoffs,” as the expression goes. It’s just that some of life’s tradeoffs are so important that they have an eternal impact for us. As difficult as being obedient to God may seem, His intent is for our best lives.

https://youtu.be/LsY6or9_V-w?si=cPjROMtVSlVEY-hE

During the past hard five years, it has been a huge comfort for me to know that God has been “for me” and my life. While I might not have always felt it, that isn’t what faith is about. Faith isn’t a feeling. remember…

“Now faith (belief, confidence, or trust) is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Since my last journal entry, my husband and I have had yet another opportunity to exercise our faith for things hoped for, and literally not seen. You see, 25 years ago Bruce had an unprovoked retinal detachment that, after 5 surgeries between Orlando, Fl and the Duke Eye Center in North Carolina, left him with functioning sight in left eye only. His right eye has recently had a cornea transplant and then he had left eye cataract surgery. Yet he has been able to drive and navigate life with little interference, until recently. Multiple visits and tests with his retinal surgeon in Orlando since late last fall have provided no answers for the reduction in his vision field in his one functioning eye. In late February, the day before we flew down to the Dominican Republic for four months, Bruce had a test run on a very special machine at Bascom Palmer Eye Center in Miami, FL. It was one of only two machines in the entire state to run the test that they hope will reveal a diagnosis. And we are still waiting on the results, 7 weeks later. The results should have taken two-weeks at most to be available. If Bruce has a vision issue that can’t be treated, reversed, or repaired, it could significantly change how Bruce navigates daily life as well as what we anticipated the next 10-15 years would look like for us. So, we wait for the medical recommendation, holding on to our faith for encouraging news from Bruce’s next consult in three weeks.

Faith is the hope, confidence, trust that God will continue to be who He has always been and will do all that He has promised that He will do.

³When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
⁴ In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 56: 3-4 NIV

Will with his rescued cat Max during his residency…Will with Bruce at Siesta Key after his diagnosis, and back in the hospital before his second surgery and hospice care.

Speaking of waiting…Most of you know that over five years ago now, our son Will was diagnosed with stage IV cancer of the small bowel, while in his final months of an internal medicine residency. What a few of you also know is that in the early days of Will’s cancer journey he and I began an outline of a program that has the potential to impact the lives of the next generation of young doctors.

The program focuses on the comprehensive preventive health of young practitioners. The key fundamentals of the program, if integrated into medical and advanced medical education, could impact the lives, longevity and happiness of our country’s physicians, not to mention the the quality of care that they provide to us. The ethos of my country’s medical education community is ripe “for transformation”. And I want to personally be part of a movement to honor and redeem Will’s lost life and impact the quality of future physician lives.

In the past five years I have spoken to over a dozen different physicians and friends placed in high places in medical education about this vision for better physician health. I have waited for any door to open and any doctor willing to commit to helping take the lead on the implementation of Will’s and my idea. Waiting is not a naturally easy thing for me. And waiting quietly an entirely different thing that I struggle with. But I have tried my best.

⁵My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.

Psalm 62:5 NASB

In December of 2024, The University of Dubuque (UD) announced that it had received a sixty-million-dollar gift from John and Alice Butler. John, a long-time board member, made the gift to establish a School of Osteopathic Medicine, the first medical school for the state of Iowa in the past 125 years. This new school will train Doctors of Osteopathy (DO’s), which is the same type of program that Will earned his doctorate from in 2017. The graduates from UD’s new DO program will serve the region that, like many other parts of the United States, is experiencing a shortage of physicians. It is a critical time in the founding of the school’s facilities, faculty, and administration, and, as I see it, the establishment of the principles that will guide its curriculum and operating environment.

So, that is the concept and hope I took to and have since come away with from my conversations last week with, the chairman of the university’s board, the Chairman of the new medical school’s dean search committee, the UD President’s wife, and several other board members and key university leaders.

I have hope. And I am putting my trust, belief, confidence…faith, in the God who makes promises and fulfills them. I am praying and trusting in Him that I’ll have the opportunity to speak more about, and if it be in His will, have active part of the concept of transforming the environment of medical education, beginning at UD. I have hope.

https://youtu.be/29IxnsqOkmQ?si=UCJBT0i8vPogZ5DR

Will’s first year medical school “White Coat”, Will preparing for the day’s medical rotation, Dr. William E. Hedgepeth

Easter in my faith tradition represents a time of hope, rebirth, and renewal. It is a time for reflection on a God who loves the whole world so much that He would do anything for us so we can spend an eternity of joy and happiness with Him. Anything…. that included giving up His only son to be tortured, killed, and raised from the dead.

I know something of what that loss of an only son is like and therefore, I am willing to give what I can to help save other doctor’s lives.

I have hope that Bruce’s eye can retain its sight and that you will be prayerful in your support for that along with my desire to initiate the program for the University of Dubuque’s DO program and for me to personally participate. I would greatly appreciate it, if it is God’s will, and for His glory.

https://youtu.be/9KIhYZQ_ovw?si=zyo4EXD9ZiorXbgU

Will’s first glance at his sister, Kate, in her wedding dress, one year before his diagnosis.

²⁴So be strong and courageous,
all you who put your hope in the Lord!

Psalm 31:24. NLT

Epilogue: Plans

Published on March 2, 2025March 2, 2025 by onparallelpaths2 Comments

(I send my apologies for the length of this journal entry. It was as difficult for me to write, as it was for me to navigate life this past year. But that is how God seems to work with me and my soul… on parallel paths. May His nature and name be honored in the words written and the comparisons drawn.)

Yep, I am a planner. And it definitely wasn’t my plan to take nine months to finish writing and post this journey entry. That itself is a clue of how the past months have gone…

Making plans is just as natural for me as having a beverage in my hand during every waking hour of the day. If you are one of my friends that started off as a banking workshop client or participant, then you know I am known for having three beverages at a time on the front table of the “classroom.”

Of course, that hasn’t always worked out well. Like the time I sat back on the table and almost landed on my cup of coffee. Fortunately, it didn’t turn over on my laptop. Or, the time I was driving with my charging mobile phone when it fell into my open glass of water. Maybe “Spills” will be a future journal entry.

But back to “plans.” Creating a plan involves a lot of big-picture imagining, often driven by priorities and goals. For me planning includes thinking of outcomes/consequences, and then weighing risks and returns… as us “credit risk professionals” like to frame it.

Yes, I love to brainstorm, create options, decide about a direction, and then formulate a plan to “get there.” Often in the details of the plan are where my checklists come into play. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll read my Journal entry “Epilogue: Lists” on this website.

It’s the dreaming and planning that come first before the lists. Without a dream or vision, you can’t create a meaningful plan.

I love to plan everything; from what’s for dinner (most nights), or how to entertain visiting friends from out of town or out of the country, or what to buy for someone for their birthday, or who we can make plans to see on our annual fall RV road trip, or how to best support the growth and development of each of my children (grandchild now), or where to live as we get closer to retirement age, or what the house needs to be like to allow us” to age in place”, and on and on.

Here is a favorite recipe given to me by
our pastor friend Mairisine from
Northern Ireland…yum!

I don’t know about you, but I started planning parts of my life when I was young. I began building expectations for things like: sorting out my interest and availability for various afterschool activities, dreaming of vocational careers to pursue, or which club and community service involvements to sign-up for. Whether to make part-time work a priority in the schedule, and what learning curriculum choices to make to accomplish my educational/work goals. How might these choices impact the next decision about my education or training? Which college or university would be best to attend? What work vocation do I want to pursue? Where in the country or world do I want to live?, or at what general age do I think I want to make a marriage decision? Do I want to become a parent and if so, when? How do I ensure that established priorities are supported on a daily and annual basis? How can I support my loved ones, to help them become their best?

As I reflect on it, life is rich with planning opportunities! Each stage of life, from childhood to senior adulthood has a vast number of opportunities and requirements to plan.

But how accurate and effective have I been at making plans over the decades of my life? In some ways, it’s really an irrelevant question, isn’t it? If you’ve lived long enough, even a couple of decades, you know that life doesn’t always go according to your plans.

I have learned that whenever I build a plan my expectations start getting built as well. And this is where I often set myself up for frustration and disappointment.

Just today, (written on October 8, 2024) up in lovely Door County, Wisconsin, where we are camping and celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday, I re-dislocated a toe and couldn’t get a shoe on.

Having good hiking shoes on, to enjoy Peninsula State Park is part of the Hedgepeth family’s 50+ year tradition. Well, there goes my plan to hike up Eagle Tower, across Linda’s Meadow to the Pooh Tree, then down to the Shore Trail, pass the cliff caves to get to Green Bay, and back. Really!!!!

Scrapbook photos of trips to Door County, WI
with Bruce, his parents, sister Linda with
husband Colin, Will and Kate.

Bruce and his sister Linda back at the cliff caves beneath Eagle Tower. Without me.

Of all days to have a mishap, why today? On top of that, today hurricane Milton is headed toward central Florida and specifically the city of Sarasota where we’ve lived on two different occasions. And there are many family members and friends who will be in harm’s way or have their personal property threatened by the storm.

Since our campsite in the park has no WIFI or cell service, I am spending time today at my sister-in-law’s hotel while she, her friend Debby and Bruce make the coveted hikes.

This time, with my iced foot up and my laptop on, is giving me an opportunity to pray for, call, email, and text with many Florida friends, to make sure they are provisioned and taking cover with the storm approaching. It is making me slow down during a time that has been very busy and freeing me up to write to you. Yeah, I would rather be hiking and enjoying the cool and sunny weather up here, but God is giving me the grace and perspective to take a deep breath and appreciate what He has put on my heart today. (P.S. several friends had their home flooded; the Foxes condo and contents was destroyed inside during the hurricane that day, the Deems lost the first floor of their home along with their RV and a car, others lost roofs, fences, access to their businesses, every thing in there refrigerators and freezers, and many lovely trees. Fortunately, everyone was safe from personal harm.)

Today is another example of how my plan results don’t always materialize as brainstormed. Frequently, something gets “lost in translation.”

Sometimes it’s something as inconsequential as today’s hike, or the look of the decorations I put on a cake, or the consistency of my gravy for mashed potatoes at the holidays. Or how an outfit just doesn’t come together like I thought it would. This one as been particularly problematic over the decades when I’ve traveled with a limited wardrobe and wanted to look appropriate for a client engagement. Like the time in 2006 when Delta lost my luggage for five days out of a six-day work trip to Florence, Italy. Oh, darn… I just had to go shopping!!! I’m still thankful for Mindy K. my training partner on that trip who found a local marketplace with realistic prices for clothing and a second suitcase to bring it all home in… instead of the “high street stores” that wanted $150 for a simple white blouse!

Minor plans not coming to fruition are frustrating. But what happens when an important plan doesn’t work out? Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, and on occasion, even downright devastated to have plans fall through? Speaking for myself, when the expectations for something significant are not met, it can be difficult for me to adjust and move ahead.

https://youtu.be/EH87xXauLoI?si=XJinup6Y9otaxJik

Like, when a job didn’t turn out to be what it was promised to be or as rewarding as what I had imagined. Or when a personal relationship ended on a sour note, or when the life of someone very dear to me ended way too soon.

This last one has been specifically true when our son Will passed away from cancer four years ago on November 10^th. Gone are the plans for his cardiology fellowship, a wife, a family, a practice near us, more family trips together… continual reminders that my imaginings and “plans” for Will…will never be.

Will and “Mama” at his sister Kate’s wedding in March 2018.

Yep, plans not materializing can be devastating. And even though it’s been years, there are times where I feel the pain, anger and questions rise up in me. The devastation feels like it was just last week that we lost him. There’s been so many times when I’ve tried to get “a handle” on our loss… that I could hardly pray.

One of several displays set up by my
friend Lori L at Will’s celebration of
life, July 2021. Don’t you love the
Scrabble 30th birthday greeting made
by my sorority sister Kathy M.?

I had prayed so hard for his healing. We worked so hard with his doctors and did our best to give him excellent medical care his entire life. So when Will didn’t recover from his cancer I sort of stopped reaching out to ask God for help for me.

I guess I took on our daughter Kate’s mindset when she was 3 years old. “I do it myself!” I’ve wondered if God really listened to my begging to heal Will and if He cared how I was doing. Like a self-sufficient and stubborn 3 year old, I’ve let this keep me a bit distant from God.

When I’ve found myself able to wonder and pray, I ask question like “will there never be an answer as to why Will had to suffer and die?” or “Is there a way that I can turn Will’s pain and the loss of his talents into something that can help others?” or “Am I ever going to really be “okay” again?” So many questions for why the “plans” didn’t work out and why I still feel lost in all of it.

https://youtu.be/J3tA08OK7-g?si=wGGiCp44bbFcpZb8

Deep down, I know that I haven’t lost my belief in God. I believe that He is all knowing (Omniscient) , all powerful (Omnipotent) , always loving and always present (Omnipresent) . I have experienced for decades how He can speak, guide, forgive, and provide for me. At one point one of my main spirtitual gifts I could admit to having was that of faith. But since our loss of Will, I just haven’t “felt” heard, guided and provided for. It’s felt like a huge testing of my faith.

I know that Bruce and I have had so many people praying for our entire family. And I am aware that it is by God’s grace that I am even to get up and accomplish anything on some days. Yep, somedays, I feel like I am living life, just going through the motions. So thank you, if you’re one of these special people who have prayed for us.

https://youtu.be/M-0QXi7cLwI?si=ZYJEJFm4aIDH5ltL

These past months have been another one of those times where a lot of plans didn’t turnout the way that I imagined. I had plans for how I would spend my time during our late January-June 2024 visit to the Dominican Republic. That is when this journal entry began to take shape in my heart and mind.

I had plans at the beginning of last year that I would be working many days up at the Young Life’s camp, Pico Escondido in Jarabacoa. Plans to have lots of interactions with many college, church and family teams that work up at camp and with my Dominican kitchen sister’s and other ministry expats.

But my early January Mayo in Florida diagnosis with Morphea, and the prescribed autoimmune medication I started off with, left me often tired, nauseous, and with a headache. Lacking the energy and enthusiasm that I typically operate with, was not what I wanted or planned.

The elevation plans for the house
that didn’t get built.

Add to that the frustrating 18 months, of not being able to get a home built, two doors down from our daughter and her family. We trusted a builder that we had worked with before in a successful renovation, only to find him lying to us and cheating us. The time and money that we lost during this process was not in the plan when we signed a contract with him.

The still empty lot…it’s for sale. Come be our neighbor!

You know how life plans go, don’t you? Maybe for you it was that job offer you were certain was yours, but it never came through… and you had already pictured what it was going to be like and even had your workspace all mentally organized. Or, was it that special relationship or marriage that didn’t work out the way you and they promised? How about an accident or long-term health condition that has you unable to do everything that you used to do? Have you had a diagnosis that you dread? Have you been left with chronic pain? Or was it the violation of trust by someone close to you? Or was it about your friend, child, parent, sibling, or spouse passing away much too early? Could it be the inheritance you were promised was taken by someone else, or the savings you built and appeared to be sufficient for; a house, education, business-start up, or a secure future, that ends up not being enough? Was it choices that you made that you wish you could reverse? Was it the partner or child that you always dreamed of having that hasn’t happened?

“You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”
Proverbs 19:21 NLT

“Here’s the preachy part,” as my retired firefighter-paramedic-missionary brother-in-law Colin would say (Colin who is in the black T-shirt in the scrapbook picture above, unexpectedly passed away the day before my mom in September of 2022). The holy scriptures of the world’s three monotheistic religions agree on telling us; that when God made heaven and earth, He declared it all good. Then the original human creations of His did the one thing they were told not to do, and this disobedience allowed evil and sin to be unleased on our world.

We live in this world with that “fall” from God’s plan. So things are no longer perfect or fair. Because of human’s separation from God, which wasn’t intended, bad things happen. It’s the evil in the world that brings us loss, sadness, destruction, and pain. While it’s not God who causes the bad things to happen, he does allow it. Like me, you may question why would a good God allow this to be a reality? Why do such hard things happen that impact us for reasons that are beyond what we think we deserve and our ability to understand? There are entire books written about this very topic and the hard question. So, I won’t attempt to come close to providing you all the evidence to prove it’s true. But here are a few scriptures that I am clinging on to.

Scripture tells us that God’s ways are not our ways. Here is how the prophet Isaiah puts it:
“8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9. NIV

Also, there is a season for everything. God is the only one who has the big picture of what goes on in the world-we only see a tiny part of what He is trying to achieve. We aren’t promised a trouble-free life (no matter how good we are or how much we plan). But, despite what we feel, God has clearly stated that He loves us so much.

The almighty God desires a relationship with us so that we will keep Him our top priority and that we will rely on Him to turn even our failed plans for our safety, provision, and our over-all good.

King David wrote in Psalm 62:7-8:

“My salvation and my honor depend on God^[c];
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.”

Read and meditate some more with me on these next verses which have been preserved over the millennia for us.

From King Solomon:

A Time for Everything

“3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, NIV

https://youtu.be/YpGXyD8Owzs?si=k4WT8w_SPFN9GWgP

I know that I don’t have any control over “time”, or the season that I find myself in, but deep down I still know Who is in control of it all. It is my faith that I am holding on to, and it’s God I am trying to grow closer to, regardless of how life and my plans are playing out right now. I am trying to focus more on the good that I have been blessed with instead of the change in plans that I didn’t want. Surrendering to God, my plans, and trusting Him to take care of everything, has become part of my morning quiet time prayer meditation.

Jesus Christ said,

³³“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 (NIV)

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Proverbs 16:3

We also have God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And The Apostle John wrote:

^“3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’^[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21: 3-5

https://youtu.be/4_2aX_i4qpM?si=8zdNGCmOhK-UdktA

What has God made new out of my failed plans? Here are just a few examples I want to share.

My early career disappointments turned out to be the exact experiences that I needed to build a learning and development career. A career that I have found to be extremely rewarding and has provided flexibility, travel benefits, and income that worked well for my family.

The pain and disappointment of no hike with that dislocated toe meant found time to catch up with friends that were in the middle of a hurricane and added to my understanding of messed up plans.

The failed plan for the construction of a new home means that the bottom-line final costs for the renovation, we had to pivot to and just completed, was likely less expensive than the original plan to build the other home.

Our new home prior to renovations…it’s across the street from our daughter Kate and her family and the still empty lot.

The diagnosis of Morphea and the autoimmune medication I have been taking did alter my plans for ministry activities last year, but it did allow me to enjoy lots of restful time with the mama-dog Dora, who adopted us and then gave birth to four delightful puppies. What joy they brought (and still bring) us, was a gift.

Dora and her months old puppies last May

Dora and her puppies scramble for attention and love. Don’t we all appreciate the same?

I still have no answer for some of the biggest plan deviations/deviations in my, and I likely won’t this side of heaven. You bet asking about Will is going be one of my first conversations with The Almighty.

Bruce and Walker making memories,
crab hunting at the beach.

I am focused on appreciating more and more making time for and memories with those living family and friends that I still have, because of all the losses I’ve had, Will, my parents, Bruce’s Mom, a brother-in-law, and school friends.

https://youtu.be/KcIMnHf3HyM?si=LNJb95jyl-4FHxV2

What I am holding on to during this season of reflection and healing is; a focus on praising God for His many blessings, a focus to use God’s word in making new plans for my life, and a focus on the perspective of allowing troubles and failed plans to be opportunities for emotional growth, spiritual strengthening and overall perseverance.

https://youtu.be/OoEr8BSsrxg?si=y2E7_ct81tH3c0t

Hear the wisdom that come to us from King Solomon:

Wisdom Bestows Well-Being

3 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
²for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

³Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man.

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.^[^a^]

The things that God is calling me to plan are:

–To know in my spirit, not just mind that He Is still there for me.

–To spend time quietly with Him, (“We must keep God in front of us” Jerry Bridges)

Spending part of my quiet time each day with “An engaging visual journey” book by Hannah Hurnard, et al, a gift from a dear friend Kate M.

–To spend time in holy scripture to understand His ways and promises more

https://youtu.be/GKGu_e7YMrA?si=RgvbXEbjxYV2Ke5S

–To focus on my love God more than I do my love for anyone or anything else.

Jonathan Edwards, the colonial American Congregational preacher, theologian, missionary to native Americans and president of the college of New Jersey which became Princeton University, said in his sermon “Safety, Fullness, and Sweet Refreshment in Christ”, “If God in his providence calls his people to mourn over lost relations, and if (God) repeats his stroke and takes away one after another of those that were dear to (his people); it is a supporting, refreshing consideration to think that Christ has declared that He will be in stead (fill the place) of all relations unto those who trust in Him.” I know that I need God to fill the empty places in my broken heart. I can’t do it myself.

–To trust in Him for what is really the best plan for me. He has the big picture, I don’t.

²⁸And we know that God causes everything to work together^[^a^] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28 NLT

God has the best of life planned for us that seek Him. And He will help us use our life’s planning failures for His glory. He wants us to have hope in His good plans for our lives. “Hope,” now there is another word worthy of examining. Hopefully, it won’t be nine months before we journey together with this word on parallel paths.

https://youtu.be/O4Am3G0qLcM?si=pcix-5HJLai2XQy-

Keep Well!

Prologue: Transient

Published on May 30, 2024 by onparallelpaths3 Comments

Monday was Memorial Day in the States. A day set aside for the country to remember those men and women that served in our Armed Forces and gave their lives for the freedoms that we value and hope to enjoy for the “remainder of our days.” Memorializing, remembering, and appreciating lives that have passed.

Two wonderful “moms”, Grammy and Kate with Walker. 2019

Here in the Dominican Republic (DR) Monday was also the day after this country’s celebration of Mother’s Day. Like back home, in the DR Mother’s Day is celebrated with flowers, chocolates, gifts, Sunday lunch out and a visit with one’s “Madre.” It is a day to remember and grieve if your mother isn’t living anymore (like many of you who have also lost your mothers… like our neighbor Cesar whose mom passed just a few weeks ago) or grieve for those women weren’t able/didn’t have the opportunity to be a mother. It’s a day to appreciate those women who were/are unofficial mothers to us and to be thankful for the difference they made in our spiritual, practical, and relational lives. This long weekend for me is a time of reflection, appreciation, celebration, and some grieving.

Today I am reminded that I came across the word “transient” recently when finishing my reading of Jean Fleming’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life. A book created from Jean’s own “Old Woman File”. A file she began over 20 years ago when she turned 50 years old. Her file was a collection of reflections, ideas, goals, and wisdom about ending well in this earthly life. As the book’s forward by Monica Sharman says; “It is for you who want to see the big picture of your life and God’s purposes.”

When I Googled for definitions of “transient,” I got these results:

Noun: a person who stays in one place a short time. A momentary variation or oscillation. Adjective: Lasting only a short time; impermanent. Passing especially quickly into and out of existence. Bound to change, pass or come to an end.

Synonyms included: brief, fleeting, momentary, and temporary.

Jean’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life, was gifted to me by a Young Life ministry friend, Toni M. from Colorado. We were catching-up in Anaheim, CA at a global conference in January and I said something in my sharing of the five months that where ahead of us in the DR and where I was emotionally in my post-loss-of-Will… There was something in my words that prompted Toni to share that she was currently reading a book and that she felt I should read it too. It wasn’t until I received her gift and read the author’s name that I realized that I had met, had lunch with, and then listened to a retreat message with Jean Fleming.

The year was 1992 in Orlando, FL, post-birth of our son Will, prebirth of our daughter Kate, and pre-Seminary career change for Bruce. Jean Fleming had published the book, “A Mother’s Heart” and she had been invited by our church to share her love of motherhood and God with us for a “Mom’s Retreat” weekend.

So, I was thrilled to get my hands on more of Jean’s insightful words. And of all her powerful words and wise suggestions in this book, “transient”, is the one that spoke the loudest to me this week. “Transient” as both a noun and an adjective.

Cindy and Bruce in a hot air balloon over the Valley of the Kings, Egypt 2017-note the sheaves of grain gathered on the valley floor.

I have seen in my life the transient nature of this earthly world. The “passing especially quickly into and out of existence” of loved one’s lives, jobs, financial stability, dreams, mental abilities, physical health and shelter…

I mean, here I am sitting on my front porch in the mountains of the Dominican Republic, after decades of physically moving for Bruce’s pastoral ministry work. Forty-two years of changing jobs, making new friends, and living in homes from Florida, to Georgia, to Michigan, to Florida, to Iowa, back to Florida and then… back and forth across the state of Florida in several cities. Filled with joys, an extremely rewarding career, travel adventures and sorrows, this has been our lives. Transient. “Impermanent” and “bound to change.”

How often do you get invited to a friend’s birthday party at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England? Thank you Anja K. from the Netherlands 2018!

Even today, life is changing here in Buena Vista, DR. Take Dora, our transient/foster-street dog and her four precious pups are undergoing change. Dora’s puppies are eight weeks old this week and they are beginning to be taken to their adoptive homes. Transient.

Walker is ready and excited for Kindergarten! May 2024

Does mama Dora know that soon her pups will be living with another family? May 2024

We’ve been reminded of the fast pace of change over the past five days, when we have received photos of graduations. First of our grandson Walker from pre-school and for our twin nephews, Nat and Eddie, from High School. Those first and last days of required education are done for these three guys. Transient.

Eleven months ago we sold our home in Sarasota, Florida and bought a lot in Green Cove Springs, FL, down the street from our daughter and her family and… after almost 9 months of finalizing house plans (with minor revisions and requirement to comply with Florida building requirements and a draftsman who twice made random changes) worked on by three architects, from two states… we are still waiting with just dirt, on county building permit approvals. We are looking at returning stateside in less than a month to live for (heavens know how many more) months in our 300 square feet RV. Transient.

So, in my yearning today for words of peace; for the losses I’ve experienced, the innumerable changes we’ve made in the past decades; and for grace to live today with hope for tomorrow; I’ve found comfort from both Jean’s words and assurance from holy scriptures.

“In God’s sovereign plan, loss often comes before a gain.” And the prayer;

“Lord, help me trust that there is gain in my losses.” Jean Fleming, Pursue the Intentional Life

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21

https://youtu.be/hNrzcG2dhFo?si=C6VokZfftjVAjGdA

And God said:

“Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth below; for the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and its people will die like gnats. But My salvation will last forever, and My righteousness will never fail.” Isaiah 51:6

“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” Hebrews 13:14

https://youtu.be/cJUtAw21qAM?si=60bR9jxfuhd6fzmI

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 19-20.

“This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.” 1 Timothy 4:10

https://youtu.be/vSrz6MfL4JQ?si=dZqoKHboPi3AMQfx

Yes. For me there is peace in knowing that what we experience here on earth with the joys, changes, as well as sorrows, aren’t all that our lives will be. That I don’t have to have all my “why’s?” figured out, and that it isn’t even remotely possible to figure it all out. And that I don’t have to even feel good, happy, or thankful every moment of every day. The answer to many of my “why’s?” is because it is all transient.

Ecclesiastes 1:

“The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

²“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

³What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
⁴Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
⁵The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
⁶The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes….

Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes continues with:

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Because God created the heavens as well as the earth. It is all under His command and that it’s all eventually going to be okay. Scripture tells us that:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

The nature of this world is transient as is the nature of our feelings. Fortunately, the nature of God is not. God is immutable… unchanging over time or unable to be changed. God is consistent, reliable, trustworthy. Even when we don’t see it or feel it.

https://youtu.be/ggPEQ_COpBA?si=S583gj0JvH_D1uph

Since we know and experience so little of God’s big-picture plan, the most peace-filled course of living (as incredibly hard/impossible as it can be some days) is to be appreciative of the present. Look for the blessings and joys that daily come along, coupled with the challenges of this earthly time.

I give thanks today for; the lives that were lost in prior wars so that I could live in freedom; for the jobs I have held with the opportunity to learn and grow while meeting amazing people from all parts of the world (just this week I heard from Suzanne from Sudan/Oman and Jo and Karola from Germany) for the abundance of friends (some of them of the animal variety) and family whom I have cared for and loved, and who have likewise, loved and cared for me; for the homes that have kept me cool/warm and safe; for the financial resources that we have been blessed to receive; for the mental and physical health that I have been given; and for faith in a God who isn’t transient, and who has promised me His love now and forever more… unending, never changing, regardless of my transient feelings. Thank you God!

One of many visits with Will, Jo, and Karola in Sarasota, Fl, 2016

Cindy and Suzanne working together
in Doha, Qatar 2019

Epilogue: Connections

Published on February 19, 2024 by onparallelpaths10 Comments

The word “connections” was calling to me this past week. So I Googled the definition and this is what I found according to Vocabulary.com. It includes:

(noun) a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it.)
(noun) the process of bringing ideas or events together.
(noun) the act of bringing two things into contact.
(noun) an instrumentality that connects.
(noun) shifting from one form of transportation to another.
(noun) (usually plural) a person who is influential and to whom you are connected in some way (as by family or friendship) “Connection.” Vocabulary.com Dictionary, Vocabulary.com, https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/connection. Accessed 15 Feb. 2024.

This past month here in the Dominican Republic(DR) has been filled with examples of our need for one of the above definitions. We needed one right after another. From the search for an important doctor’s referral, to needing consistent internet in order to lead virtual training, to coordinating logistics to participate and celebrate a dear friend’s doctoral success, to searching for our lost cat, Lulu just yesterday. Yes, one challenge right after another.

The “connection” image on Calle Duerte in Santo
Domingo that sparked this entry.

The word “connections” was brought to my attention when I saw this mess of an electricity pole in the capital city of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic on this past Sunday. This pole sits right outside of the hotel we stayed at, on a barely-one-way-street, in the old Colonial Zone. Compared to all the lovely sights in this beautiful part of that huge city, “What an eye-sore” was my first thought .

For some reason, I felt compelled to take a photo of the jumbled dozens of lines all converging on this one poor overloaded pole. I wondered and yeah, I even prayed about the word “connections” and why I felt compelled to capture this image. Something about it begged to be contemplated. It didn’t take long to start to make my own mental and spiritual “connections” to this ugly pole. It was less than 24 hours later that we received a distressing message that brought out in me all kinds of questions, anger, disappointment and eventually a bit of personal conviction about the significance of “connections”.

Here are some of my revelations. Just before we left to spend five months here in Buena Vista in the north central mountains of the Dominican Republic (DR), I was diagnosed at Mayo Clinic with an autoimmune condition called Morphea Scleroderma. It is the over production of collagen that causes the inflammation and hardening of the body’s interconnectivle tissues. Untreated, it can cause disfiguration and limitation of joint movement and if it become systemic, can affect the lungs, heart, kidneys, etc. Because my localized version is treated with steroids and immunotherapy medication, it requires frequent follow-up with bloodwork (to make sure the meds aren’t damaging the very organs they are trying to protect) and adjustments managed by visits with either a dermatologist, oncologist or internist. Thank God it is nothing life-treating at this early stage.

However, since it took me a month with; two urgent care visits, two rounds of antibiotics and steriods, two consults with Mayo’s internal medicine department, two rounds of bloodwork, a set of x-rays, an ultrasound, and finally a consult with a biopsy of my forearm with Mayo’s dermatology department to diagnosis it… I was very skeptical that I would be able to quickly find a physician down here to help me start the recommended immunotherapy routine that I needed. You know that there is always a seed of truth in stereotypes, and in Latin American things are typically known to move at a much slower pace (unless you are talking about how fast they drive) than they do in the US. Not getting started soon on the needed medication was very concerning to me.

But thanks to some of our Young Life International (YL) ministry friends here, Roy and Rebe, we were able to get a “next day” appointment with a very tenured dermatologist at a hospital in Santiago, just an hour away from our home. Thanks to Bruce’s proficiency in Spanish we found Dr. Duran to be knowledgable and her prescribed protocols very similar to my Mayo docotor’s recommendations. She referred us to both an extremely efficient lab, only 15 minutes from our home in Jarabacoa, which provided us same-day digital result reporting, and a pharmacy located just around its corner. So, I started my needed medications the very next very day. What an amazing “connection”!

Following up on the theme of the Latin American stereotype of things being slow, my financial consulting work here the past three weeks has been the beneficiary of good “connections.” This time related to the internet and my ability to work virtually from here in Buena Vista. Thanks to the work of Domingo, the local handyman who knows a lot about a lot of electrical, plumbing, carpentry, and all-things-house-repair related, we had an inverter system installed before we arrived for these five months. Because the power flickers or just goes down here for random reasons, we knew it would be essential for us to have reliable internet in order to work from here. And it works! After running two two-day programs, and Bruce using it constantly for work Zoom calls and “visits” with family and friends, we are confident that it will continue to support our work well. Another thankful “connection.”

Our choice to have a home here in the DR, and to use it as our living/work base for a substantial part of each year, primarily revolved around “connections” and the powerful sense of community that we feel here. If it weren’t for the vitality of the work our YL colleagues are doing here and their warm invitation for us to come, experience it, and become part of it, we would have missed out on seeing how God is changing lives in the DR, including ours. The basis of Young Life’s ministry is one of personal relationships with each other and the focus of helping young people begin and grow their spiritual relationship with God. This mission has been going strong since 1941.

My husband Bruce in the kitchen at Young Life’s camp Pico Escondido. It’s amazing the delicious things they can make from green bananas!

On one of the first years that we were introduced to YL was in Nicaragua where we met a young, 19 year-old ministry volunteer, whose name is Hollman Mendoza. My husband, Bruce, and I have been blessed to be supporters of Hollman’s ministry, to work side-by-side with him across Nicaragua, and be part of his growth from a Club leader to a Regional Director to the first native National Director, to now serving as Vice President over all of Mexico and Central America through Panama. We have had the honor to host Hollman in our home in Florida, for him to meet and become a special friend with both of our children, Will and Kate. Hollman gave Will a flag of Nicaragua that was proudly displayed over Will’s bed while he was in his internal medicine residency down in Miami.

We’ve seen Hollman not only grow professionally but personally, as he is married to a lovely woman and father to two teenage children, all living and serving currently in Costa Rica. It has been a treasured “connection” for our family for many years. But the “connection” has not stopped.

It was about six months ago that Bruce (The Reverend Doctor and ordained Presbyterian pastor) was contacted by Hollman and asked if he would be Hollman’s doctoral advisor for his dissertation. Bruce felt honored to be asked and subsequently worked with Hollman to finalize his research and get it prepared for his in-person defense. To Bruce’s surprise, Hollman notified him just a few weeks ago that, in order for his doctorate to be complete, Bruce would need to be present for the questioning time at his dissertation defense meeting, in Santo Domingo (2.5 hours away). So, after more planning meetings and logistical coordination, we drove to the nation’s capital to be ready for meeting. That is were I saw the pole of “connections” and that is where Hollman successfully defended his work and will officially receive his doctoral degree in ministry at a graduation ceremony in April. We couldn’t be prouder of him and of this special relationship “connection”.

Hollman Mendoza celebrating his doctorate with Bruce and me.

While in Santo Domingo, on the eve of Hollman’s dissertation defense, we received a text from home in Buena Vista from the gal, Dinorah, who was watching our almost 11 year old grand-cat, Lulu for us. Lulu had somehow gotten out and hadn’t come in for dinner. We don’t know how it happened but there were several folks coming and going, working on the house, and by the time we got home she had been gone, with no one spotting her, for 48 hours. We were devastated. The sitter felt awful, particularly after she found a bunch of Lulu’s fur on a neighbor’s back porch, apparently from a cat fight. There are lots of stray cats around, as well as dogs, large birds, and fast moving cars and motor cycles. And Lulu doesn’t have her front claws, so she can’t defend herself very well. Heavens, she is a spoiled suburban house cat, what can you expect? Well, I am ashamed to say, that I didn’t expect much.

Lulu helping me prepare to teach a virtual banking course from Buena Vista, DR. She loves the warmth of my computer. No she isn’t spoiled.

I literally screamed some very un-pastor’s-wife-things at God from the backyard… I felt totally defeated and overwhelmed. I guess it because I have lost so many family members (Will, Dad, Mom, Brother-in-law Colin, Aunt Patsy) and friends in the past few years (El’s husband Pete, Victor’s daughter Kate, Lisa’s sister and brother-in-law…) that I didn’t felt I couldn’t handle it. I had just had it.

Yes, I know in my head that God loves me, has the best plans for my life, can accomplish anything that is in His will… and he has blessed me with so many dear ones to love, but the accumulation of all the loss, change, and uncertainty felt crushing. I guess… I guess I felt abandoned.

Now, I know some of you know Lulu and know how “hissy”, “biting” and aloof she can be, so you are likely rolling your eyes at my reaction. I know you can’t empathize with me. But I was a wreck and I am not proud of how I handled myself and my grief.

After I sobbed, hugged the cat sitter, Dinorah (who is, we just found out, married to Domingo the repairman), and her mom, Theresa (who happens to be married to the community’s security guard Jose… now there’s a story of “connections”), I decided I couldn’t just sit at home and do nothing. So, I walked about the neighborhood calling her name, and weeping… As I wondered our gravelly roads calling for Lulu, I felt ready to just give up… everything.

One of the main gravel roads in our neighborhood.

The huge bags under my eyes that are still present the next day, were evidence of how gut wrenching it was mourn Lulu’s disappearance and almost certain demise… on top of everything else these past several years it felt like “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Questions were running through my head like: ”Why live and love and lose, when it hurts so bad?” ”Why did we buy a home down here? What difference does my work and our ministry efforts even make?” ”What difference would it make if I weren’t alive any more?” ”Would things not be a lot easier to not even try to make “connections” or a contribution anywhere, ever again?” “Should I check on flights and head back to Florida as soon as I can pack a small bag… and leave behind everything that is part of this new life and service down here?”

The fury I was in and the questions that were blazing through my head and heart were really frightening to me. It felt like everything in my world was coming un-hinged. ”A crisis of faith”, it has sometimes been called. Or “A dark night of the soul. ” Or “At the end of ones rope.” “Whatever”… was about all I could muster when I could finally catch my breath.

So, I returned home from my neighborhood walk to unpack my suitcase from the Santo Domingo trip. Angrily tossing things haphazardly in to my drawers… and slamming them. While railing at God some more about the cruelty of life and stomping myself silly on the tile floors, I heard a voice calling out from our back patio. There was Chiquito, our pool/yard man (yes, we have one of those folks down here, also… he multi-tasks by keeping an eye on things while we are in the US). While he rambled excitedly to me in his Hatian-laden Spanish, I picked up a few words, something about “………….tu gato.” “My cat”???? I replied, and in my poor Spanish and then asked if he had seen my cat, and he said “Si” and was pointing across the neighborhood. So I said “nos vamos”, let’s go… and I took off following him.

On the way we collected Bruce off one of the side streets where he had been looking for Lulu and the three of us cornered her, hidden under someone’s front porch, stuffed will a real estate sign and all kinds of old construction debris. After much coaxing with food, poking at her with a long pool brush pole, and a concerted effort to keep my voice calm and inviting, she eventually came out and we carted her home.

Thank God that we begrudgingly hired a yard/pool guy for when we aren’t here, who ended up being the one to spot Lulu and therefore, help us bring her home safely. Thinner, a bit skittish, and with a small cut next to her right eye that were the only evidence of the events that Lulu had been through. Yes, many thanks for our house-helpers and our neighborhood guard who were all the “connections with connections” we needed to find Lulu.

Lulu sporting her scratched face, back home.

Lulu licking her wounds under a neighbor’s porch.

Tauren Wells singing “Hills and Valleys” for us at Young Life’s every four-year global meeting in California in early January.

On the road from Buena Vista to Santo Domingo, the Cibao Valley.

https://youtu.be/8iDuZv_5MQk?si=2p5L8Nzl3xAz0m4M

However, the cumulative result of these “connections” for me felt much more significant. It was that apparently I needed of a humbling reminder that even though I’m currently living on an island, I am not an island.

The Englishman, trained as a lawyer, then who became a soldier and explorer, who went on to be best known as a writer of love poems and finally an Anglican cleric, John Donne. In 1624, from “Meditation XVII” in his book Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, Donne penned this classic piece that is referred to as “timeless wisdom”, as part of a documentation of his sermons.

Here is the part of a sermon that as been most remembered down through history.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends’s or of thine own were.

Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” John Donne (Itsallaboutpoems.com)

Our home on the island of Hispaniola is in Buena Vista, is just a little south and west of La Vega.

No, I am not an island. I can’t do life all myself and there is one main “connection” that I should go to first, but embarrassingly, as a person of faith, I sometimes don’t. I mistakenly think that I can rely on my own knowledge and experience to achieve whatever it is that I think I need to do. This sin of self-reliance was made so clear this week.

Yes, I was in need of a huge reminder that with a “connection” to God, to put my trust in Him as my main connection, it is the only way to have a life best lived. A life centered on God, is the only way for me to walk in the will of God. Without that centering it is impossible for me to see the events of my life and the world around me with any measure of perspective. I need to be “connected” to God to make the most of my time spent with those around me, and to leave me feeling centered and at peace. These hard past few years have left me raw and feeling like I can’t expect much good to be possible in my life. But with God’s “connection”, I can trust that through Him all is possible. He is the only one who can!

https://youtu.be/YihKbG8-X3U?si=i0RHUZTK2ttC9T6S

So, in wanting to make Donne’s quote accurately complete, I started Googling more about this famous quote and about the author. I was very surprised to find out from a number of sources, that you will see cited along the way, that this piece is considered a meditation on death, and that it was written to share the insight that all beings are one with God. (Quartz.com) It is thought to mean that we do not live by ourselves without the help and presence of others and “that we always need a shoulder to lean on especially during tough times” (Brainly.ph). None of us can live a healthy life on our own but we are created to be part of a community, and that community is what defines our existence.

The websites I read today (yes, thanks to my inverter and Domingo) said that the book Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, was written just a couple of years before Donne’s illness and eventual death. At the time of its writing, in November of 1621, Donne had been elected dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. A key part of Donne’s role as Dean was to “contemplate the relationships between men and God”, exploring the interconnectedness of all people. John and his wife (before she passed) lost three of their own 12 children. So, he was well acquainted with death and brought those insights to his faith in God and to his writings.

This famous piece of wisdom is considered an ode to community, togetherness, and the collected potential of the “connecting” the different parts of the community. It has become one of Donne’s most known and celebrated works, apparently influencing (“connecting” with) generations of writers and artists, including Ernest Hemingway.

As I read today on Commonlit.com about this specific sermon and its significance, I found it spoke exactly to where I was struggling yesterday and am painfully still aware of today. I am going to use, to their credit, some of the headings from their discussion, as a way to organize, reinforce and challenge myself about the “connections” that I am sharing.

Journey along with me to see how this literary analysis could shine some light on your own life.

Symbolism Of Islands

Most obviously, Donne uses the metaphor of an island to represent isolation and self-centeredness. By using this parallel-path of “no man is an island,” he urges us to leave behind the life of isolation and to connect with the broader world.

In what ways do I lead a self-centered life? What connections do I have with people who live and believe differently than me? How can I connect with others near me in a deeper way? What would have to change in the way that I live for this to happen? What might it like look like for my life if, instead of isolating myself, I made those types of “connections?” What benefits would there be to living more “connected” with this broader life perspective?

Unity of Humanity

The writing emphasizes that we are interconnected and should not isolate ourselves. It suggests that everyone is a part of a larger community and relies on others.

So what would happen if I just stopped trying to help others/make a difference? Isn’t it tempting to want to isolate ourselves with all the destructive things that are happening around the world? How might others be relying on me? Are there ways that I can be of greater use to others? What do I do with this insight?

Interdependence

Donne’s writing expresses the idea that we depend on each other for support, both emotionally and socially. The actions and experiences of one person can affect the entire community.

If that so, what difference am I making as I try to live faithfully and honestly through my struggles? Who could be I reaching out to with support during a time that is very difficult for them? What needs do I have that I need to ask for help to resolve?

Empathy

The piece encourages us to have empathy and understanding with one another. “It suggests that we should feel for others’ joys” (like Hollman’s successful doctoral dissertation defense) “and sorrows” (like the way many of you have come around us at our times of loss) because, in the end, we are all connected.

How can I express my feelings with love and compassion for those who hold different opinions than me? How can I open myself to “feel” what others are feeling so that I can celebrate with them or comfort them more authentically?

https://youtu.be/0qXn2I449qs?si=l01jmIGCEYrgAY5E

Mortality

Donne’s meditation reflects on the inevitability of death. The phrase “no man is an island” is a reminder that we all have a limited time on this early, and the loss of one person is a loss for us all.

So, I wonder if I would be missed if I weren’t living anymore. What do I think people would miss most about me and the life I live if I was gone? What would I like for them to remember most about me? What do I need to do differently if I want to leave a legacy of love, encouragement, faith, ____________, ____________, _____________?

Social Responsibility

“No man is an island” conveys a sense of social responsibility. It implies that we must contribute positively to society and should not withdraw from our responsibilities.

What responsibilities do I still have to fulfill, while I have days left on earth to do so? How may God use me to make a positive difference in my community? Who can I invite to join me in what I am doing to help the social fabric of my community/the world?

Spiritual Connection

To the secular world, Donne, is considered “a metaphysical poet”, because he added the spiritual dimension to his later writings. This piece “connects” the physical world with the transcendance of God. It also emphases the existence of this spiritual “connection” among people. So, I understand this to mean a “connection” with a Holy God, and a “holy” connection with others.

How am I “connecting” spiritually with those around me? Am I looking past the exterior to appreciate the uniqueness of them as an individual uniquely created by God. Am I being spiritually present to them, listening to what God has for them to share with me and sharing the Godly insights He gives me with them?

I think that my word of “connection” this past week, ties to encouragement of my needed “connection” with the community(ies) that I currently find myself living in as well as the ultimate “connection” with God. I need to trust that God’s “connection” is strong and steady and that it is working for my good. I think the word of “connection” has helped me see that as of today, I am still alive so I will be my best by “connecting” with others to mutually benefit us. I can also use my many “connections” for the good of those around me. Including people and situations that I have yet to encounter.

Holy scriptures tells us that:

That God is the “author and perfecter of our faith.” He specifically works at that ‘perfection’ of our faith through hard times… if we are open to His “connection” and we allow Him to transform our hearts. This is a key lesson that I have been taught this week.

“He (I) will have no fear of bad news; his(my) heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.” Psalm 112:7

That God desires to “connect” with us and that he wants to help us.

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear: I will help you.” Isaiah 41: 13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phillippians 4:13

That His love for us is beyond comprehension.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. King David in Psalm 13: 5

Like in other “connections” we need to be open to feeling, hearing, seeing the “connections” he desires because God doesn’t shout to be heard. By putting ourselves in quiet places, we can “hear” the words he has for us during the “connection” time.

Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling. Zechariah 2:13

He is thrilled when we take time to look for Him, to seek communications with Him… in nature, when we read His holy word. He desires us to pause to speak to us, to transform us.

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalm 105:4

God loves to use other people that we “connect with” to provide us with wise insights and motivation on the journey we call life.

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” Matthew 11:28-29

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Hy heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” Psalm 28: 7

Yes, God is the most proweful connection that brings all other connections into significance. So go out today and “connect” in a hopeful, loving way with God and others.

https://youtu.be/zQATwkAklYw?si=4Cc4-WNuhT2LIPuz