Monday was Memorial Day in the States. A day set aside for the country to remember those men and women that served in our Armed Forces and gave their lives for the freedoms that we value and hope to enjoy for the “remainder of our days.” Memorializing, remembering, and appreciating lives that have passed.
Here in the Dominican Republic (DR) Monday was also the day after this country’s celebration of Mother’s Day. Like back home, in the DR Mother’s Day is celebrated with flowers, chocolates, gifts, Sunday lunch out and a visit with one’s “Madre.” It is a day to remember and grieve if your mother isn’t living anymore (like many of you who have also lost your mothers… like our neighbor Cesar whose mom passed just a few weeks ago) or grieve for those women weren’t able/didn’t have the opportunity to be a mother. It’s a day to appreciate those women who were/are unofficial mothers to us and to be thankful for the difference they made in our spiritual, practical, and relational lives. This long weekend for me is a time of reflection, appreciation, celebration, and some grieving.
Today I am reminded that I came across the word “transient” recently when finishing my reading of Jean Fleming’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life. A book created from Jean’s own “Old Woman File”. A file she began over 20 years ago when she turned 50 years old. Her file was a collection of reflections, ideas, goals, and wisdom about ending well in this earthly life. As the book’s forward by Monica Sharman says; “It is for you who want to see the big picture of your life and God’s purposes.”
When I Googled for definitions of “transient,” I got these results:
Noun: a person who stays in one place a short time. A momentary variation or oscillation. Adjective: Lasting only a short time; impermanent. Passing especially quickly into and out of existence. Bound to change, pass or come to an end.
Synonyms included: brief, fleeting, momentary, and temporary.
Jean’s book, Pursue the Intentional Life, was gifted to me by a Young Life ministry friend, Toni M. from Colorado. We were catching-up in Anaheim, CA at a global conference in January and I said something in my sharing of the five months that where ahead of us in the DR and where I was emotionally in my post-loss-of-Will… There was something in my words that prompted Toni to share that she was currently reading a book and that she felt I should read it too. It wasn’t until I received her gift and read the author’s name that I realized that I had met, had lunch with, and then listened to a retreat message with Jean Fleming.
The year was 1992 in Orlando, FL, post-birth of our son Will, prebirth of our daughter Kate, and pre-Seminary career change for Bruce. Jean Fleming had published the book, “A Mother’s Heart” and she had been invited by our church to share her love of motherhood and God with us for a “Mom’s Retreat” weekend.
So, I was thrilled to get my hands on more of Jean’s insightful words. And of all her powerful words and wise suggestions in this book, “transient”, is the one that spoke the loudest to me this week. “Transient” as both a noun and an adjective.
I have seen in my life the transient nature of this earthly world. The “passing especially quickly into and out of existence” of loved one’s lives, jobs, financial stability, dreams, mental abilities, physical health and shelter…
I mean, here I am sitting on my front porch in the mountains of the Dominican Republic, after decades of physically moving for Bruce’s pastoral ministry work. Forty-two years of changing jobs, making new friends, and living in homes from Florida, to Georgia, to Michigan, to Florida, to Iowa, back to Florida and then… back and forth across the state of Florida in several cities. Filled with joys, an extremely rewarding career, travel adventures and sorrows, this has been our lives. Transient. “Impermanent” and “bound to change.”
Even today, life is changing here in Buena Vista, DR. Take Dora, our transient/foster-street dog and her four precious pups are undergoing change. Dora’s puppies are eight weeks old this week and they are beginning to be taken to their adoptive homes. Transient.
We’ve been reminded of the fast pace of change over the past five days, when we have received photos of graduations. First of our grandson Walker from pre-school and for our twin nephews, Nat and Eddie, from High School. Those first and last days of required education are done for these three guys. Transient.
Eleven months ago we sold our home in Sarasota, Florida and bought a lot in Green Cove Springs, FL, down the street from our daughter and her family and… after almost 9 months of finalizing house plans (with minor revisions and requirement to comply with Florida building requirements and a draftsman who twice made random changes) worked on by three architects, from two states… we are still waiting with just dirt, on county building permit approvals. We are looking at returning stateside in less than a month to live for (heavens know how many more) months in our 300 square feet RV. Transient.
So, in my yearning today for words of peace; for the losses I’ve experienced, the innumerable changes we’ve made in the past decades; and for grace to live today with hope for tomorrow; I’ve found comfort from both Jean’s words and assurance from holy scriptures.
“In God’s sovereign plan, loss often comes before a gain.” And the prayer;
“Lord, help me trust that there is gain in my losses.” Jean Fleming, Pursue the Intentional Life
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21
And God said:
“Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth below; for the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and its people will die like gnats. But My salvation will last forever, and My righteousness will never fail.” Isaiah 51:6
“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” Hebrews 13:14
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 19-20.
“This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.” 1 Timothy 4:10
Yes. For me there is peace in knowing that what we experience here on earth with the joys, changes, as well as sorrows, aren’t all that our lives will be. That I don’t have to have all my “why’s?” figured out, and that it isn’t even remotely possible to figure it all out. And that I don’t have to even feel good, happy, or thankful every moment of every day. The answer to many of my “why’s?” is because it is all transient.
Ecclesiastes 1:
“The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
3 What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes….
Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes continues with:
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”
Because God created the heavens as well as the earth. It is all under His command and that it’s all eventually going to be okay. Scripture tells us that:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
The nature of this world is transient as is the nature of our feelings. Fortunately, the nature of God is not. God is immutable… unchanging over time or unable to be changed. God is consistent, reliable, trustworthy. Even when we don’t see it or feel it.
Since we know and experience so little of God’s big-picture plan, the most peace-filled course of living (as incredibly hard/impossible as it can be some days) is to be appreciative of the present. Look for the blessings and joys that daily come along, coupled with the challenges of this earthly time.
I give thanks today for; the lives that were lost in prior wars so that I could live in freedom; for the jobs I have held with the opportunity to learn and grow while meeting amazing people from all parts of the world (just this week I heard from Suzanne from Sudan/Oman and Jo and Karola from Germany) for the abundance of friends (some of them of the animal variety) and family whom I have cared for and loved, and who have likewise, loved and cared for me; for the homes that have kept me cool/warm and safe; for the financial resources that we have been blessed to receive; for the mental and physical health that I have been given; and for faith in a God who isn’t transient, and who has promised me His love now and forever more… unending, never changing, regardless of my transient feelings. Thank you God!
in Doha, Qatar 2019
On Parallel Paths 