wellness – On Parallel Paths

Epilogue: Hope

Published on April 18, 2025 by onparallelpaths2 Comments

Our neighborhood here in the Dominican Republic is getting festive and loud. Many of the homes that sit quietly for most days of most weeks are now surrounded by multiple cars. There are sounds of children laughing and parents telling stories as families gather with their favorite music blasting from portable speakers. There is the smell of delicious food wafting on the almost constant breezes. It’s become busy here in Pinares de Buena Vista on this Friday because it is Semana Santa! Specifically Good Friday of Holy Week.

For those that profess the Christian faith, Holy Week is the last week of Jesus Christ’s earthly life. Holy Week marks His final days filled with highs and lows and the pinnacle of the faith tradition… Jesus’ death on a cross and then His bodily resurrection, with the promise of life everlasting for all who believe He is the one and only son of God. For those who didn’t grow up in this faith tradition, it can be a lot to wrap your mind and spirit around.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

John 3: 16-17

For Christians this week is all about the fulfillment of the coming of the Messiah in ancient Hebrew scriptures. It is all about the overcoming of evil with good. It’s all about hope. The eternal hope that promises joy, peace, and love. A hope that surpasses our understanding and the reality of our earthly lives. A hope that can transform earthly lives, when given the chance.

https://youtu.be/948Sm3bFH-s?si=ZQ1-2hJgBpBwIO5a

This type of hope requires a level of faith… belief or trust in something or someone beyond oneself. People of Judeo-Christian or Muslim heritages claim to believe or have faith in one God. The one who created the heavens and the earth. The dictionary places the word “faith” not just as a word that can be described only in terms of an organized religion, but also with synonyms like confidence, trust, and hope. See the image here for more words.

The one difference in the contextual meaning of the words faith and belief is that they represent a present or current state of thinking/being. While hope represents a future or anticipated state of thinking/being.

The scripture from the Holy Bible says:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11: 1

It’s true, isn’t it? If we have seen something, then hope isn’t needed to know that it exists.

Here’s an example that I was given when I was in Iowa this past week, accompanying my husband, Bruce, for the University of Dubuque’s Board of Trustee’s spring educational conference and semi-annual meetings. I’ll share a bit more about why I decided to use some of my Delta air-miles at the last-minute to attend. And I’ll share the hope that I have because of conversations I had outside of those meetings. But first, I’ll share the hope that spring is coming to the upper Mid-West.

The pictures below show the slow progress of spring’s arrival in the upper Mid-West this year. If you have lived in a cold climate in your life, then you know what I am talking about: the seemingly unending cold and grey.

The first picture is from our dear friend’s, the Drs. Ward, front yard. The first signs are their daffodils, often the first signs of spring. In the next two photos you’ll see there is still a lot of grey in the landscape across Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois, but green grass is beginning to peak out, as are the buds on trees and the light green of the willow trees, in my sister-in-law Linda’s neighborhood in Antioch, IL.

Nature is beginning to awaken with migrating birds, heralding the coming arrival of spring. There is hope that the winter’s below freezing, 20-degree weather from the week before, won’t return for at least another six months.

Since it might not be spring arriving that’s on the front of your mind, what things have you hoped for recently? Is it a new spring wardrobe, a new job, a partner to build a life with, a larger house, a (another) child, funds to pay off your house and live comfortably when you retire, good grades on your upcoming final exams, a good result on the upcoming medical test, a way to balance your budget, acceptance into the university (graduate school) of your choice, an improved relationship with someone close to you, a successful season for your sports team, a place in the assisted-living community for your parent, enough money to afford important medication, a new car, an organ transplant that could save your/a loved one’s life, a way to break away from a bad habit, a healed heart after a significant loss….?

So, what are the things that God has said that we are to hope for? Here are a just a few of the promises that God spoke to the early father’s and prophets of the faith.

“⁷Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance.⁸The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”

Deuteronomy 31:7-8

God promised the Israelites an inheritance… of land. He also promised His presence, protection, faithfulness, and encouragement. And below, His continued presence, peace, strength, instruction, and encouragement. These are promises not only for the Israelites but for all of us as well.

^“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 NIV

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 26:3

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

Psalm 32:8

Or, ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹²Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.¹³You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

Jerimiah 29:11-14

https://youtu.be/9PugD11k3JU?si=AZOjhjuKYAzG6QND

Yes, God promises His knowledge of our future, with good plans, more words of encouragement, His continued presence, a listening ear, peace, guidance and a release from what holds power over us.

Did you note that God has a few conditions to his promises? The primary condition is for all of us to love Him and worship Him as our only God. He also wants us to seek a personal relationship with Him, to do our best to obey His commandments (and if we believe in Him, He promises forgiveness for our failures). Finally, He calls us to love others as we love ourselves.

Some people find these conditions and his commandments restricting. But God gave them to us because He loves us more than we could ever imagine. His commandments provide us guidelines/guardrails for the best ways to live. Living as He prescribed is the way to walk in the will and blessings of God. “Life is full of tradeoffs,” as the expression goes. It’s just that some of life’s tradeoffs are so important that they have an eternal impact for us. As difficult as being obedient to God may seem, His intent is for our best lives.

https://youtu.be/LsY6or9_V-w?si=cPjROMtVSlVEY-hE

During the past hard five years, it has been a huge comfort for me to know that God has been “for me” and my life. While I might not have always felt it, that isn’t what faith is about. Faith isn’t a feeling. remember…

“Now faith (belief, confidence, or trust) is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Since my last journal entry, my husband and I have had yet another opportunity to exercise our faith for things hoped for, and literally not seen. You see, 25 years ago Bruce had an unprovoked retinal detachment that, after 5 surgeries between Orlando, Fl and the Duke Eye Center in North Carolina, left him with functioning sight in left eye only. His right eye has recently had a cornea transplant and then he had left eye cataract surgery. Yet he has been able to drive and navigate life with little interference, until recently. Multiple visits and tests with his retinal surgeon in Orlando since late last fall have provided no answers for the reduction in his vision field in his one functioning eye. In late February, the day before we flew down to the Dominican Republic for four months, Bruce had a test run on a very special machine at Bascom Palmer Eye Center in Miami, FL. It was one of only two machines in the entire state to run the test that they hope will reveal a diagnosis. And we are still waiting on the results, 7 weeks later. The results should have taken two-weeks at most to be available. If Bruce has a vision issue that can’t be treated, reversed, or repaired, it could significantly change how Bruce navigates daily life as well as what we anticipated the next 10-15 years would look like for us. So, we wait for the medical recommendation, holding on to our faith for encouraging news from Bruce’s next consult in three weeks.

Faith is the hope, confidence, trust that God will continue to be who He has always been and will do all that He has promised that He will do.

³When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
⁴ In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 56: 3-4 NIV

Will with his rescued cat Max during his residency…Will with Bruce at Siesta Key after his diagnosis, and back in the hospital before his second surgery and hospice care.

Speaking of waiting…Most of you know that over five years ago now, our son Will was diagnosed with stage IV cancer of the small bowel, while in his final months of an internal medicine residency. What a few of you also know is that in the early days of Will’s cancer journey he and I began an outline of a program that has the potential to impact the lives of the next generation of young doctors.

The program focuses on the comprehensive preventive health of young practitioners. The key fundamentals of the program, if integrated into medical and advanced medical education, could impact the lives, longevity and happiness of our country’s physicians, not to mention the the quality of care that they provide to us. The ethos of my country’s medical education community is ripe “for transformation”. And I want to personally be part of a movement to honor and redeem Will’s lost life and impact the quality of future physician lives.

In the past five years I have spoken to over a dozen different physicians and friends placed in high places in medical education about this vision for better physician health. I have waited for any door to open and any doctor willing to commit to helping take the lead on the implementation of Will’s and my idea. Waiting is not a naturally easy thing for me. And waiting quietly an entirely different thing that I struggle with. But I have tried my best.

⁵My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.

Psalm 62:5 NASB

In December of 2024, The University of Dubuque (UD) announced that it had received a sixty-million-dollar gift from John and Alice Butler. John, a long-time board member, made the gift to establish a School of Osteopathic Medicine, the first medical school for the state of Iowa in the past 125 years. This new school will train Doctors of Osteopathy (DO’s), which is the same type of program that Will earned his doctorate from in 2017. The graduates from UD’s new DO program will serve the region that, like many other parts of the United States, is experiencing a shortage of physicians. It is a critical time in the founding of the school’s facilities, faculty, and administration, and, as I see it, the establishment of the principles that will guide its curriculum and operating environment.

So, that is the concept and hope I took to and have since come away with from my conversations last week with, the chairman of the university’s board, the Chairman of the new medical school’s dean search committee, the UD President’s wife, and several other board members and key university leaders.

I have hope. And I am putting my trust, belief, confidence…faith, in the God who makes promises and fulfills them. I am praying and trusting in Him that I’ll have the opportunity to speak more about, and if it be in His will, have active part of the concept of transforming the environment of medical education, beginning at UD. I have hope.

https://youtu.be/29IxnsqOkmQ?si=UCJBT0i8vPogZ5DR

Will’s first year medical school “White Coat”, Will preparing for the day’s medical rotation, Dr. William E. Hedgepeth

Easter in my faith tradition represents a time of hope, rebirth, and renewal. It is a time for reflection on a God who loves the whole world so much that He would do anything for us so we can spend an eternity of joy and happiness with Him. Anything…. that included giving up His only son to be tortured, killed, and raised from the dead.

I know something of what that loss of an only son is like and therefore, I am willing to give what I can to help save other doctor’s lives.

I have hope that Bruce’s eye can retain its sight and that you will be prayerful in your support for that along with my desire to initiate the program for the University of Dubuque’s DO program and for me to personally participate. I would greatly appreciate it, if it is God’s will, and for His glory.

https://youtu.be/9KIhYZQ_ovw?si=zyo4EXD9ZiorXbgU

Will’s first glance at his sister, Kate, in her wedding dress, one year before his diagnosis.

²⁴So be strong and courageous,
all you who put your hope in the Lord!

Psalm 31:24. NLT

Epilogue: Disjointed

Published on March 9, 2024 by onparallelpaths3 Comments

The “word” that has come to me this week, is disjointed.

When I Googled it I found definitions such as: “Separated at or as if at the joint, lacking coherence or orderly sequence”, “being thrown out of orderly function”, “not well connected and therefore often confusing”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore, difficult to understand” Sources: Merriam-Webster.com, Cambridgedictionary.org, and Collinsdictionary.com

“Dora” is the reason for this entry. Dora is the recently-arrived-in-our-neighborhood stray or “perro callejero”- aka, street dog, here in Buena Vista, Dominican Republic (DR). She showed up over two weeks ago, hungry and getting around on three of her four legs. She had seen her the week before on the curvy road that runs alongside our neighborhood, dodging busy traffic. Huge cringe!!!!

The community’s day-time security guard, Jose, took compassion on her and began feeding her, so she has happily stayed in the area. It was just a few days after her appearance that we found out that Jose brought his family’s meal leftovers to feed Dora and when Jose had a day off, she didn’t have anything to eat. So we began chipping-in our scraps and even bought for her a bag of dried dog food to keep at the security gate.

Either Dora can spot a tender heart a block away or she must have noticed us walking to deliver food to the plastic sour cream container lid that she dined from…we are three houses down the street from the security gate. Because she started; sleeping in the corner of our drive way, greeting us in her skittish way, trying to follow us on our walks/runs (it’s hard to keep up with only three short useful legs), hanging out on front porch with me during my morning journaling quiet time. Our connection progressed to Dora sleeping on our door mat, allowing us to begin to pet her/rub her belly, and finally, giving us little kisses/licks on our hands. Such a sweet little thing she is.

Then this past Sunday, we returned from a Young Life middle school weekend camp to hear the news that Dora had been hit by a pick-up truck, right out front of our house. She was hurt, cowering in some nearby bushes and growling at Jose who was first to go check on her. We were so upset, and we called Dinorah, Jose’s step-daughter (read the prior entry Epilogue: Connections to hear a bit more about the family) to see if she could assist us in getting Dora medical help.

Thanks to Dinorah’s coaxing (‘The Animal Whisperer’, we call her), Dora was removed from the bushes and carried to our car. With my husband Bruce driving, he and Dinorah got Dora to a vet close to home. She received a pain shot and muscle relaxant, and then they made a second stop at an emergency X-ray center (where they serve typical serve a human…not a pet/la mascota).

Dinorah and Bruce brought Dora back with an X-ray (one side view they took) and a preliminary diagnosis from the Vet that that her left hip joint was likely dislocated. So, Sunday night Dora slept on our front porch, in a plastic dog house, that she had previously refused to enter. Monday morning, with a referral for another Vet to hopefully reset her hip, Bruce, Dinorah, and I wrapped Dora in a beach towel and drove her down the mountain, to Vet numero dos.

After more X-rays and a second opinion, it was found that Dora’s pelvis is broken (this week’s accident result), she has a congenital issue with with her sacrum (lowest part of her vertebrae) where her spinal cord is compressed (life-long and painful), and she had a prior operation on her left hip where the head of her femur, the “ball” of her ball-and-socket joint, was removed… so her hip and leg will forever be disjointed. “Disjointed”…not connected, so she won’t walk or run smoothly, which will make the basics of her everyday life more difficult.

For now she is under shelter, either resting on her beach towel under our car or under a plastic table we moved to provide more shade and shelter under the eves of the house… with Vet prescribed limited mobility for a month. She is taking anti-inflammatory and joint repair medications in her meals until she has a re-evaluation in early April.

Fortunately, she is able to get up to “take care of business” and find a more comfortable reclining position, so she is slowly showing some improvements. Dora even managed through a warm bath today and is resting comfortably on a clean beach towel as I type. It is hard to see an innocent animal hurt, isn’t it? And it’s hard to think about her always having difficulties in her daily mobility. Pray for us to help her find a permanent home or a care solution here in the DR before the end of June, when we return to the States.

Dora and her accident have me thinking about the number of different ways that my life, and those of other loved ones I know, have been disjointed.

Disjointed.. like my efforts to understand and speak Spanish. I am continuing to build my Spanish vocabulary but struggling with my speaking confidence during our five month stay in the DR this year. But I honestly admit that it’s slow going, because my approaches are “lacking in coherence”, “not well connected” and therefore my results are “often confusing”, and “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore difficult to understand.”

I can laugh at this example, but it’s often frustrating and even embarrassing for me to not be able to communicate with people I am working with, or when I want to connect with people at a deeper personal level, or when I need to manage an important task out in the community. I know the efforts that I need to make to become proficient in my conversational Spanish. Efforts to prioritize greater time for daily study and practice. Yes, I need to get more “immersed” in Spanish if I am going to experience the confidence and joy of better communications. Yes, I know I am living here… but they speak so fast and loud… I am intimidated!

It’s clear to me that being disjointed isn’t a desirable “state of being.” When I think about it, this insight applies equally to other area’s of my life. Disjointedness can be present and a description of so many different aspects of our lives. Whether it relates to; the path of our careers, how we go about accomplishing home/apartment/flat projects, having to deal with chronic pain, illness, and death, our plans/efforts to save for our retirement years, the state of our family and/or personal relationships, you can fill-in more areas…but maybe most importantly, the state of our spiritual relationship with God.

For me, disjointed right now looks like … living in two different locations/countries during the year, managing the complicated logistics of not having a US based home to store our personal belongings in that we didn’t move down to the DR, struggling to keep adequate contact with family and different friends around the world whom I love, making decisions about different opportunities to serve others, and experiencing different sabbath worship traditions.

Disjointed… like entering that stage of life that includes wanting to make adjustments in my work load requirements (since there are fewer work-travel opportunities after COVID, it has made some assignment decisions a lot easier) and making decision about beginning to access some of my retirement options.

Disjointed… like losing precious family and loved ones that were so essential to my everyday life. This week I have been grieving with Wednesday’s news of the passing of our dear courageous friend, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and awesome basketball enthusiast, Mike Oliver-from Maitland, FL, Athens, GA, San Anselmo, CA and finally, Birmingham AL. Yes, my life has had many ways of feeling disjointed.

I have to admit that this combined disjointedness, this sense of “lack of continuity”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and therefore, hard to understand”, has made my continued spirituality growth challenging in the past several years. I have felt disjointed in my relationship with God.

When you step back and think about it, can any relationship be deepened and thrive if it is disjointed? A quick Google search confirmed for me the belief that while long-distance relationships (LDR’s) can initially be extremely difficult to establish (40% fail within the first three months and one source quoting research that only 16% of people are currently in a successful LDR’s), they can be equally successful in the long-term. One source identified the three factors of; loneliness, lack of trust, and lack of communication, being the major contributors to the failure rate of this and any kind of “disjointed” relationship. So, wouldn’t the concepts apply in reverse… any relationship that focuses on good communication, trust, and time together…stands a high percentage chance of being successful?

I think many folks look at “a relationship with God” like they do with a long-distance human relationship. “He” isn’t visibly present and not frequently audibly heard. Holy Scriptures say that He is known to speak quietly and in subtle ways that we will easily miss, if we don’t turn down the noise around us and aren’t tuned into His voice.

Being disjointed in our understanding, communications, commitment to God will definitely make the relationship feel NOT; connected, smooth, orderly, clear, or logical. In other words, if we don’t make consistent time to connect with God through the various means of spiritual practices, if we aren’t clear or logical in our requests, and have a willingness to listen to His replies and direction, is it any wonder that the disjointedness with God will lead to us to feeling alone, frustrated, confused, and struggling?

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55: 8

I don’t know about you but I think I am often to blame when there is a breakdown/dislocation/disjointed communication… in my daily walk through life with God. I believe that I can be quite sufficient in my daily life, thank you very much. Relying on my own abilities and ideas. So, I set up an Long Distance Relationship situation with God.

https://youtu.be/_09jF1yK4z4?si=7wqQxtxabXTBpSv9

This is completely opposite of what Holy Scripture instructs us:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all way acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

During my first weeks here in the Dominican Republic I’ve read John Mark Comer’s book Practicing the Way, which is about discipleship and seeking an authentic relationship with God. Comer (a Christian) presents the insight that we all are “disciples” of something or someone–a keto diet, reality TV, work success/recognition/titles, following “The Royals”, curating the perfect social media presence, a favorite performer, a bigger bank account, a political preference, our children/family, social/eco justice issues… and sometimes even our faith preference. On Tuesday I read in Comer’s book:

“Of course, the greatest paradox of Christian spirituality is that it’s in dying that we live, it’s in losing our (false) self that we discover our (true) self, and it’s in giving up our desires that our deepest desires are finally sated.” page 213

And just a few pages John Mark adds:

Life is hard, with or without God. But what’s really hard–nearly unbearable for some– is facing the pain and suffering of life apart from God. So is trying to save yourself rather than be saved. Living in a godless, shepherdless, meaningless universe–that’s really, really hard.” (page 215)…” “So, rather than question, ‘How much am I willing to surrender to Jesus (God)?’ ask yourself honestly, ‘How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?’ ” page 216

A reflection form Holy scripture agrees,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28:

Once you’ve answered Comer’s question of “How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?” the next one is likely, ‘What do I need to stop doing, to give myself the space to do the drawing near to God… so that I can enjoy the outcomes that are promised from connecting with Him?’

https://youtu.be/DuZPOVFcFJ4?si=Rhgo7aIshuwZZZt

There are likely hundreds of thousands of books written about methods (historically referred to as ‘disciplines’) for enriching spirituality. You may be very familiar with the ways to become closer to God. Some of subscribers of this websites have attended one or more of the women’s retreats that I helped lead over the past two decades. Retreats where we stepped away from all that was our “regular lives” for a committed time to practice ways to incorporated many of the classic and contemporary means of growing closer to God. Scripture tell us:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:8

So, you likely know this, that in order to have time to get spiritually reconnected with God (to read, study, pray/meditate, journal, worship, fast, silence, music, serve…), you have to disconnect (become disjointed) from the things that distract you and take up your precious time and focus.

https://youtu.be/LpYD7HQo9QQ?si=Fm_jKriD2a5DriwH

What are the desires of your heart? What are you currently a “disciple” of? Is there “clarity” and a “smooth and “logical connection” between your life’s “discipleship” and the outcomes you desire most? Is your life “disjointed” so you’re not living your life in a way to reach the real desires of your heart? How can you best “reconnect” to live your best life, now? What can you eliminate that is distracting you from time with God?

https://youtu.be/PsAcN8p8EV4?si=9lyehdwlfKD0zRP

“Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 3-4

I am committed to “doing less” to allow for more time to live in such a way that God can heal the areas of disjointedness in my life. I pray that you may want to (continue to) join me in the journey to answer these questions above and then put the answers in to practice.

Let’s delight in the Lord, because that is why He created us, human kind. We were created to be connected with Him, to worship Him, and to enjoy Him forever….not to be disjointed.

https://youtu.be/ggPEQ_COpBA?si=FjlaaHeRXwdhh137

Blessings,

Cindy