The “word” that has come to me this week, is disjointed.

When I Googled it I found definitions such as: “Separated at or as if at the joint, lacking coherence or orderly sequence”, “being thrown out of orderly function”, “not well connected and therefore often confusing”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore, difficult to understand” Sources: Merriam-Webster.com, Cambridgedictionary.org, and Collinsdictionary.com

“Dora” is the reason for this entry. Dora is the recently-arrived-in-our-neighborhood stray or “perro callejero”- aka, street dog, here in Buena Vista, Dominican Republic (DR). She showed up over two weeks ago, hungry and getting around on three of her four legs. She had seen her the week before on the curvy road that runs alongside our neighborhood, dodging busy traffic. Huge cringe!!!!

The community’s day-time security guard, Jose, took compassion on her and began feeding her, so she has happily stayed in the area. It was just a few days after her appearance that we found out that Jose brought his family’s meal leftovers to feed Dora and when Jose had a day off, she didn’t have anything to eat. So we began chipping-in our scraps and even bought for her a bag of dried dog food to keep at the security gate.

Either Dora can spot a tender heart a block away or she must have noticed us walking to deliver food to the plastic sour cream container lid that she dined from…we are three houses down the street from the security gate. Because she started; sleeping in the corner of our drive way, greeting us in her skittish way, trying to follow us on our walks/runs (it’s hard to keep up with only three short useful legs), hanging out on front porch with me during my morning journaling quiet time. Our connection progressed to Dora sleeping on our door mat, allowing us to begin to pet her/rub her belly, and finally, giving us little kisses/licks on our hands. Such a sweet little thing she is.

Then this past Sunday, we returned from a Young Life middle school weekend camp to hear the news that Dora had been hit by a pick-up truck, right out front of our house. She was hurt, cowering in some nearby bushes and growling at Jose who was first to go check on her. We were so upset, and we called Dinorah, Jose’s step-daughter (read the prior entry Epilogue: Connections to hear a bit more about the family) to see if she could assist us in getting Dora medical help.

Thanks to Dinorah’s coaxing (‘The Animal Whisperer’, we call her), Dora was removed from the bushes and carried to our car. With my husband Bruce driving, he and Dinorah got Dora to a vet close to home. She received a pain shot and muscle relaxant, and then they made a second stop at an emergency X-ray center (where they serve typical serve a human…not a pet/la mascota).

Dinorah and Bruce brought Dora back with an X-ray (one side view they took) and a preliminary diagnosis from the Vet that that her left hip joint was likely dislocated. So, Sunday night Dora slept on our front porch, in a plastic dog house, that she had previously refused to enter. Monday morning, with a referral for another Vet to hopefully reset her hip, Bruce, Dinorah, and I wrapped Dora in a beach towel and drove her down the mountain, to Vet numero dos.

After more X-rays and a second opinion, it was found that Dora’s pelvis is broken (this week’s accident result), she has a congenital issue with with her sacrum (lowest part of her vertebrae) where her spinal cord is compressed (life-long and painful), and she had a prior operation on her left hip where the head of her femur, the “ball” of her ball-and-socket joint, was removed… so her hip and leg will forever be disjointed. “Disjointed”…not connected, so she won’t walk or run smoothly, which will make the basics of her everyday life more difficult.

For now she is under shelter, either resting on her beach towel under our car or under a plastic table we moved to provide more shade and shelter under the eves of the house… with Vet prescribed limited mobility for a month. She is taking anti-inflammatory and joint repair medications in her meals until she has a re-evaluation in early April.

Fortunately, she is able to get up to “take care of business” and find a more comfortable reclining position, so she is slowly showing some improvements. Dora even managed through a warm bath today and is resting comfortably on a clean beach towel as I type. It is hard to see an innocent animal hurt, isn’t it? And it’s hard to think about her always having difficulties in her daily mobility. Pray for us to help her find a permanent home or a care solution here in the DR before the end of June, when we return to the States.

Dora and her accident have me thinking about the number of different ways that my life, and those of other loved ones I know, have been disjointed.

Disjointed.. like my efforts to understand and speak Spanish. I am continuing to build my Spanish vocabulary but struggling with my speaking confidence during our five month stay in the DR this year. But I honestly admit that it’s slow going, because my approaches are “lacking in coherence”, “not well connected” and therefore my results are “often confusing”, and “not presented in a smooth or logical way and are therefore difficult to understand.”

I can laugh at this example, but it’s often frustrating and even embarrassing for me to not be able to communicate with people I am working with, or when I want to connect with people at a deeper personal level, or when I need to manage an important task out in the community. I know the efforts that I need to make to become proficient in my conversational Spanish. Efforts to prioritize greater time for daily study and practice. Yes, I need to get more “immersed” in Spanish if I am going to experience the confidence and joy of better communications. Yes, I know I am living here… but they speak so fast and loud… I am intimidated!

It’s clear to me that being disjointed isn’t a desirable “state of being.” When I think about it, this insight applies equally to other area’s of my life. Disjointedness can be present and a description of so many different aspects of our lives. Whether it relates to; the path of our careers, how we go about accomplishing home/apartment/flat projects, having to deal with chronic pain, illness, and death, our plans/efforts to save for our retirement years, the state of our family and/or personal relationships, you can fill-in more areas…but maybe most importantly, the state of our spiritual relationship with God.

For me, disjointed right now looks like … living in two different locations/countries during the year, managing the complicated logistics of not having a US based home to store our personal belongings in that we didn’t move down to the DR, struggling to keep adequate contact with family and different friends around the world whom I love, making decisions about different opportunities to serve others, and experiencing different sabbath worship traditions.

Disjointed… like entering that stage of life that includes wanting to make adjustments in my work load requirements (since there are fewer work-travel opportunities after COVID, it has made some assignment decisions a lot easier) and making decision about beginning to access some of my retirement options.

Disjointed… like losing precious family and loved ones that were so essential to my everyday life. This week I have been grieving with Wednesday’s news of the passing of our dear courageous friend, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and awesome basketball enthusiast, Mike Oliver-from Maitland, FL, Athens, GA, San Anselmo, CA and finally, Birmingham AL. Yes, my life has had many ways of feeling disjointed.

I have to admit that this combined disjointedness, this sense of “lack of continuity”, “not presented in a smooth or logical way and therefore, hard to understand”, has made my continued spirituality growth challenging in the past several years. I have felt disjointed in my relationship with God.

When you step back and think about it, can any relationship be deepened and thrive if it is disjointed? A quick Google search confirmed for me the belief that while long-distance relationships (LDR’s) can initially be extremely difficult to establish (40% fail within the first three months and one source quoting research that only 16% of people are currently in a successful LDR’s), they can be equally successful in the long-term. One source identified the three factors of; loneliness, lack of trust, and lack of communication, being the major contributors to the failure rate of this and any kind of “disjointed” relationship. So, wouldn’t the concepts apply in reverse… any relationship that focuses on good communication, trust, and time together…stands a high percentage chance of being successful?

I think many folks look at “a relationship with God” like they do with a long-distance human relationship. “He” isn’t visibly present and not frequently audibly heard. Holy Scriptures say that He is known to speak quietly and in subtle ways that we will easily miss, if we don’t turn down the noise around us and aren’t tuned into His voice.

Being disjointed in our understanding, communications, commitment to God will definitely make the relationship feel NOT; connected, smooth, orderly, clear, or logical. In other words, if we don’t make consistent time to connect with God through the various means of spiritual practices, if we aren’t clear or logical in our requests, and have a willingness to listen to His replies and direction, is it any wonder that the disjointedness with God will lead to us to feeling alone, frustrated, confused, and struggling?

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55: 8

I don’t know about you but I think I am often to blame when there is a breakdown/dislocation/disjointed communication… in my daily walk through life with God. I believe that I can be quite sufficient in my daily life, thank you very much. Relying on my own abilities and ideas. So, I set up an Long Distance Relationship situation with God.

https://youtu.be/_09jF1yK4z4?si=7wqQxtxabXTBpSv9

This is completely opposite of what Holy Scripture instructs us:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all way acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

During my first weeks here in the Dominican Republic I’ve read John Mark Comer’s book Practicing the Way, which is about discipleship and seeking an authentic relationship with God. Comer (a Christian) presents the insight that we all are “disciples” of something or someone–a keto diet, reality TV, work success/recognition/titles, following “The Royals”, curating the perfect social media presence, a favorite performer, a bigger bank account, a political preference, our children/family, social/eco justice issues… and sometimes even our faith preference. On Tuesday I read in Comer’s book:

“Of course, the greatest paradox of Christian spirituality is that it’s in dying that we live, it’s in losing our (false) self that we discover our (true) self, and it’s in giving up our desires that our deepest desires are finally sated.” page 213

And just a few pages John Mark adds:

Life is hard, with or without God. But what’s really hard–nearly unbearable for some– is facing the pain and suffering of life apart from God. So is trying to save yourself rather than be saved. Living in a godless, shepherdless, meaningless universe–that’s really, really hard.” (page 215)…” “So, rather than question, ‘How much am I willing to surrender to Jesus (God)?’ ask yourself honestly, ‘How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?’ ” page 216

A reflection form Holy scripture agrees,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28:

Once you’ve answered Comer’s question of “How joyful, peaceful, and free do I want to be?” the next one is likely, ‘What do I need to stop doing, to give myself the space to do the drawing near to God… so that I can enjoy the outcomes that are promised from connecting with Him?’

https://youtu.be/DuZPOVFcFJ4?si=Rhgo7aIshuwZZZt

There are likely hundreds of thousands of books written about methods (historically referred to as ‘disciplines’) for enriching spirituality. You may be very familiar with the ways to become closer to God. Some of subscribers of this websites have attended one or more of the women’s retreats that I helped lead over the past two decades. Retreats where we stepped away from all that was our “regular lives” for a committed time to practice ways to incorporated many of the classic and contemporary means of growing closer to God. Scripture tell us:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:8

So, you likely know this, that in order to have time to get spiritually reconnected with God (to read, study, pray/meditate, journal, worship, fast, silence, music, serve…), you have to disconnect (become disjointed) from the things that distract you and take up your precious time and focus.

https://youtu.be/LpYD7HQo9QQ?si=Fm_jKriD2a5DriwH

What are the desires of your heart? What are you currently a “disciple” of? Is there “clarity” and a “smooth and “logical connection” between your life’s “discipleship” and the outcomes you desire most? Is your life “disjointed” so you’re not living your life in a way to reach the real desires of your heart? How can you best “reconnect” to live your best life, now? What can you eliminate that is distracting you from time with God?

https://youtu.be/PsAcN8p8EV4?si=9lyehdwlfKD0zRP

“Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 3-4

I am committed to “doing less” to allow for more time to live in such a way that God can heal the areas of disjointedness in my life. I pray that you may want to (continue to) join me in the journey to answer these questions above and then put the answers in to practice.

Let’s delight in the Lord, because that is why He created us, human kind. We were created to be connected with Him, to worship Him, and to enjoy Him forever….not to be disjointed.

https://youtu.be/ggPEQ_COpBA?si=FjlaaHeRXwdhh137

Blessings,

Cindy